Have you ever been passed up for a promotion? How did that make you feel?
Question of the day
July 9, 2008 by Joy
9 Responses
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No! damnit! I have always had the opposite problem. Being thrown into the deep end when I had no clue. People always expect me to know and do a good job. So I was always promoted too fast.
I’ve had both experiences – promoted ahead of the usual schedule, and behind. It depended on how far away (physically and mentally) my boss was.
I am not as aggressive as I probably should be in my industry, and I am extremely introverted, so I generally blame myself to that extent. It’s unfair that the people who are really most qualified frequently lose out to bigmouths, but I feel that’s the way it is in corporate America – it’s their loss. However, I was very disappointed in my direct ex-boss, because it was his job to give a damn, and he didn’t. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, and my squeaking wasn’t obnoxious enough. I voiced my disappointment very clearly and finally left, because some things never change.
I felt more angry about the fact that I’d been told lies and cheated financially. Some people think they can get away with anything – and unfortunately, they are usually right. I could sue them, and maybe I should, but it isn’t my style.
Yes, once. I had applied for a job at my school and at the time I really needed the extra hours (money). It would have given me and extra 4 hours a day. I was on the playground and unbeknownst to me, my best friend at the time applied for the same job and never told me. I even told her what they asked me in the interview. She got the job even though the EBD teacher wanted me to have it. The reason she got it was because I was to good on the playground and the kids loved me. She on the other hand was awful to the kids. They had parents calling all the time about her. So I lost a job because they didn’t want to lose me at the job I had and they wanted her out.
I transferred to a different building the following year and never did talk to that other woman again. What a sneak! How could I continue the friendship I had with her under those conditions? How in the world does that work that you can’t advance because your doing your job “to well!!”
Once I asked for a promotion (early), and my boss agreed that I was ready for it, but said my colleague, who had been in my position a year longer, was not ready. Mr. Boss didn’t want to promote me and not him, because that would hurt his feelings. (Never mind the fact that I had twice as much university education, two professional licenses that he didn’t have, and brought in twice the revenue and three times the profit of my colleague – why should HE feel bad if my efforts and abilities were recognized? Mind you, Mr. Boss had no problem bringing in a male with the same experience / less education to be above me. Apparently women don’t have egos?) Ultimately, he promoted both of us, and when we got our raises, he told me I should be really excited that I was now making “almost” as much as my incompetent colleague. Yeah, thanks.
That just stinks SKL. It’s so wrong.
It stinks, but it’s not at all unusual. That’s why I stayed at my job for 13 years despite all the frustrations that made me want to quit so many times. I really wanted to fight for change. I did fight. But the problem is that the “old boys” are truly blind to the reality of discrimination. I tried for so long to educate some of the “nicer” partners. Guys with daughters. Guys who actually liked me. They could not see what was right in front of their eyes.
I fought on because I wanted to make it a little easier on the younger women who were coming up behind me. I think I did make it just a little easier.
Unfortunately, young professional women don’t believe this is really happening, either. They think it happens to other women because of reasons that won’t apply to them (e.g., working only 9-5, taking off to have kids, etc.). THEY are gonna make it because THEY are gonna be tougher, smarter, work harder. I read a study that showed this, and I had to admit – that was exactly how I was. I was gonna buck the trend because I was the smartest, most educated, most competent, hardest working person in my group. I have the numbers, degrees, licenses, and awards to prove it. But, it wasn’t enough. Yes, my career progressed. Yes, I made “almost” as much as my male colleagues, and yes, I was promoted to “almost” the level they reached. I achieved this “almost” success at the expense of 13 years of a normal personal life.
I just hope some young professional woman in that industry reaps some benefit from having me get further than the women before me. Maybe before I die there will be one who doesn’t have to be satisfied with “almost.”
No, I haven’t been passed up for a promotion. One promotion that I did get I may have passed up had I known what I was getting into! But, in the end it taught me a lot and I’m grateful for the experience. Thank God I don’t work there anymore!
Yes, many times but I don’t let it bother me. It happens sometimes. There have been times it’s been for the best and times I really was glad I was passed over but didn’t know until it happened.
I really haven’t. I can imagine it’s not fun. I only worked outside the farm while I was going to college and that was just a “feed myself” job.