When to let go? (Jason)

So,  I find a box of old letters from ex girlfriends from over 10 years ago.  Why do I keep them?  I don’t know…I can’t throw them away…Can I?

They don’t mean anything to me now except memories of a different time.  Good memories to bad.  Should I let go and throw them out or keep them to remind me of certain times in my life? 

Should it bother my wife if I keep them and would it bother me if she had notes from guys before me?

This entry was posted in husbands, jealousy, relationships, wives and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to When to let go? (Jason)

  1. Joy says:

    It would be my advice to keep them but not out in the open. Maybe in your basement or attic. Someone “made” me throw out a bunch of old pictures once and to this day it really bothers me that I did it. There was a picture of my dad and I that I would kill to have now.

    As far as it bothering your wife. It might. It might have bothered me too once upon a time but I think as you age, things like this don’t bother you so much. Throwing something away that you have obviously given a lot of thought to, might always haunt you and you’ll regret it someday. If it bothers your wife a lot, maybe put them at your mom and dad’s!!! You don’t want her to have hurt feelings. But throwing away is so final.

  2. Jennifer says:

    I would keep them. But then again I tend to be pretty open about stuff like that. I know people are funny and sometimes the strangest little things bother them, but unless you were storing the actual person in the attic it wouldn’t much bother me as a spouse.

    I think it also depends too how old you were at the time of these encounters. A high school girlfriend is much different than a girl you dated seriously in your 20’s or 30’s.

    As Joy said I think the key is to keep them packed away. I wouldn’t keep returning to them. Dwelling on them however will only lead to problems.


  3. Ali says:

    I tend to agree with the above commenter’s. I’m not normally a jealous person anyway but I think if you have something from your past, before you knew your significant other, it really shouldn’t bother them. You can’t really blame people for the things they did before you. But I also agree, put them away somewhere where your wife doesn’t see them all the time. It might bother her and she might not tell you. I guess if my husband had a bunch of them, it might bother me a little but I would never ask him to get rid of them, just put them away. I sure wouldn’t want to part with anything so personal.

    Another good post.

  4. Sue says:

    I also agree with everyone above. Keep them, but store them and don’t dwell on them. It’s part of your past and sometimes reading letters from the past makes you realize how far you’ve come.

  5. SKL says:

    It is hard to know how your wife would react without knowing your wife. I have a sister, age 28, who would get really upset about that. But then, she is insecure, largely because she senses that (a) hubby’s ex isn’t over hubby – she actually shows up uninvited (or maybe invited?) at their parties in short skirts . . . and (b) when my sis and her hubby are fighting, all of a sudden hubby feels a need to “catch up” as a “friend” with his ex. Overly jealous? Maybe, but why rub salt in the wounds? On the other hand, if you are sure your wife doesn’t have the tiniest doubt about it being permanently “over” with your ex(es), then maybe she would find the letters amusing. At what point in your relationship would you find your wife’s old love letters fun to read together?

    My vote would be to keep them at mom & dad’s house and bring them out when you two are in your rockers on the porch someday with a lot of life to celebrate.

    My dad used to break my mom’s Elvis records because he couldn’t stand that she liked him. After six kids together, they would sit on a bench at the beach and watch the young, scantily-clad swimmers and comment together on them. Even though there are still women who think my dad is hot (THAT is scary), at some point my mom began to find this more amusing than anything else. Well, not totally amusing when she has to help my dad avoid them . . . hee hee . . . .

  6. Jason says:

    My wife is 28 and it doesn’t bother her a bit. I was a kid. A serious relationship lasted a month. If I was an adult at the time and the letters were more romantic I’m sure it would be different. I wouldn’t like it

  7. amberfireinus says:

    You know, there is a place in your life for memories. But love letters are fairly pointless. Instead maybe you should keep a few general pictures of your life with that person (not you kissing or being intimate) – not heaps in quantity but reminders of your life at that time. Maybe they sent you something funny or sentimental ONCE. That is enough to cherish their memory, but be respectful to your wife and your marriage. Hope you found this helpful.

  8. nikki says:

    I think you should for sure hang on to them. And as Jasons ‘ wife I have to say it doesn’t bother me one bit. I sat here one night and read most of them and had a good laugh!!! I thank God he’s so much more mature now. I wish I would have kept mine. Shows you how much you’ve grown as a person.

  9. Candi says:

    I agree with Nicole, I have all of mine letters, pictures, prom, etc.. I kept them all in a chest, As for as bothering Jared, I really do not think it does, I never asked him however. I have sat and read them laughing, crying and just having mixed feelings about what, when, why, how, and just thinking..

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