Hurting people we don’t even know

I am sitting here today with a blogging hangover.  I did something yesterday and got involved with something that I’m very ashamed of.  Some of you know where I went and some of you know who I’m talking about.  But for those of you who don’t, I want to keep it that way as to not give them any more attention.

I’m left wondering today, why we do this to one another as human beings.

I’ll put it in a nutshell.  I had gone to this site because I’d like to teach my granddaughter a little more about cooking this summer.  She tends to get bored and she’s shown an interest in helping me more and more with it.  I wanted to get us matching aprons and I’d seen them at this site and and wanted to look at them better.  I go there and there is this HUGE WAR going on about spanking.  I wasn’t about to get into that one when it was already going on just nifty without me adding my two cents but I couldn’t resist reading about it.  Then the writer goes on to write another post hoping to get right back into it and earn herself more comments.  I think it’s all about the comments on this site and those who get more have more control over they they get to write about.

Okay, I was fine with that but then I read where this writer is pointing out certain people by name and calling them names.  That’s when my dander got up because we all have our rights.  Our opinions matter to us.  So, I got into the whole dang thing and let me tell you, I BLEW UP!  I hadn’t made a comment there in a really long time and I missed going there a lot and that’s really why I started blogging on my own,  I missed the human contact.  I didn’t get blasted as much as I thought I would by her and her cronies.  You see, she has a very popular personal blog and all her friends bled into this site with her.  That is really why I left.  I didn’t agree with them most of the time and felt…well…what can I say, I felt bullied.  No matter what this person says, they all laugh at her and rush to her side NO MATTER WHAT.

So, now I sat at the stupid computer all day watching for comments that are sure to tear me apart.  I was ready.  I knew I wasn’t going to make any more comments to add to the ones she wanted so bad, so the one made, I made really count.

But, I sit here today and don’t feel good about it.  What is it that makes us behave this way?  I am a pretty rational person and live a life that’s pretty much on the up and up.  I would never walk up to someone and hurt them in real life so why, why did I do it on-line?  I have never as much as slapped anyone.  I’ve never been in fisticuffs with anyone.  Do we feel braver because nobody really knows us?

I guess the bottom line with me was that she was saying really nasty things about someone else’s personal choices and she was making them feel foolish for things she’s admitted to doing in the past and I felt it was unfair

I think maybe I should learn to keep my big fat trap shut because I don’t like myself for getting involved and doing that.

This entry was posted in anger, bullying, fairness, feelings, people, thoughts and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Hurting people we don’t even know

  1. SKL says:


    The worst fights I ever get into are those where I’m sticking up for someone else. At first I feel great about it (the solidarity thing), then kinda bad (the “I’m not like that” stuff), but ultimately I feel I did the right thing.

    Bullies are bullies because people are afraid to stand up to them. I feel it’s always better to tell off a bully than to let them think it’s OK to bully the next person. In the short run, it may be painful, but in the long run, I have never regretted it.

    You are a really good person, and that is the only reason you did what you did. Hopefully the world will be a better place now that one more bully has been softened, even if just a little. Good job!

  2. ali says:

    I admire you if you stuck up for someone else. I don’t really know what your talking about but I would stand up for anyone getting picked on. My little brother got picked on terribly all through school and I did try and stick up for him but you know how that is, “oh you need your sister to fight your battles” kind of thing. I think we do feel braver on the Internet as you stated, nobody knows who you really are.

    Some of the younger kids who take it so personally, I really feel bad for them. We can take it more as adults. Let me take that back, it still hurts!!!

  3. Jennifer says:

    I haven’t read that post in a couple days….perhaps I should come back and read what you wrote! 😉

    I usually hit there once a day and skim…occasionally I comment if I feel passionately…I ended up avoiding that post like it was tainted…I just couldn’t go there….I knew I would end up getting into it with someone…..

    There are a few people there that I’ve begun to wonder if they aren’t purposely placed there by the site to get things going in the comment section. I can think of one regular commenter that starts with an M who always has the exact opposite viewpoint from the post every time and it’s really left me wondering if she isn’t professionally hired to rile things up and keep people there commenting.

    Or maybe I’m paranoid… 😉 Could be!

    In my time there I’ve had some people say some really hurtful things to me when I’ve tried to offer opinions that at times were different from the norm. Perhaps I came across as a ‘know it all’ at the time or pushy. I don’t know. But even so, I was never rude to anyone ever but people still have made comments about my life that were so personal that I know they would never say them to my face.

  4. Jennifer says:

    You’re all more than welcome to join us at Parents2Parents!

    We just started. We’re a tiny little group but a friendly bunch 🙂

  5. I stay away from those kinds of places. I don’t enjoy them.
    Don’t let it bother you. The stress is a waste of time.

  6. theresa says:

    you know whay Joy? Every time I have read the things your clan writes about I like. It is nice to read some place where good things are writen about, not all stabings in the back. It is too easy to get caught up in things that are bad. I try to be positive with my life. Try not to let others that are negative rune your life or even your day. Keep out the good work Joy!!!

  7. Joy says:

    Thanks Theresa, good to see you back. We try and get a new one in every day so don’t forget us.

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