Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll

At what age do we talk to our kids about sex and drugs?  After or before they hear or learn about it at school or hear about it the wrong way from their friends?  It’s all over T.V. and video games in today’s society, or people won’t watch or buy it. Bitch and ass are said on almost the safest shows unless it’s Disney or Nickelodeon.  I let my son watch most anything or play any video game unless it’s sexual.  He just knows that he never repeats the language in front of his mother or myself or it’s the end of that privilege. 

Let’s be real, they hear it from their friends on the bus or the playground, we were all kids once.  Tell me you didn’t act different in front of your Friends then  your parents.  I can try to shelter him from everything or teach him how to act and behave in certain situations.

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8 Responses to Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll

  1. SKL says:

    They definitely hear things very young. My kid sister was six when her best friend’s 17-year-old sister got pregnant. Well, my sister had heard people who are married get pregnant, so she innocently asked her friend’s mom how X could be pregnant if she was not married. So the two little girls got their introductory sex ed lesson right then and there.

    My girls are adopted. Most adopted kids have things in their backgrounds that we hope will not also be a part of their futures. Yet, it would not be right to hide their backgrounds from them, once they are old enough to digest them. We must work to find the right balance of information for each child at each moment.

    I think that, given that there is no way to truly shelter our kids (even if that were a good idea), the best thing to do is focus on teaching respect – respect for parents, for self, for others. And on that foundation, the reasons not to use foul language or engage in self-destructive behaviors are easier to discuss.

    I don’t plan on having my kids watch things that morally offend me, not because I don’t want them to know about the facts of life or the choices some people make, but because I set the moral atmosphere in my house and my kids will be informed that I find certain choices unhealthy or offensive, particularly once they cross the threshold into my house.

    Of course, after they get a job and buy their own TV and set it up on their own real estate, they are welcome to watch whatever they wish during their spare time. At some point, they need to learn how to digest / deal with even things they find offensive, and pick out the good from bad situations. On that note, I watch Sex and the City sometimes when the girls are asleep (a friend bought my household the 6-year series for Christmas some years ago). I still can’t look at sex scenes (I literally turn my head to look at the wall or ceiling), but I happen to enjoy the girlfriend relationships because good friendships have been so important in my life. But, being 40-ish, I’m experienced enough to watch it without being fooled into believing that “everyone does that.”

  2. TiredMom says:

    3 of my kids were introduced much too young to sex.. They were 3,5,&6 when a lil girl in our neighborhood decided that it would be cool to play “sex” because she had watched it on tv the night before. My daughter came running out of her room yelling,”Mom S is telling C(my son) to have sex” I walked in there and found the lil girl in her underwear. I was pretty flabbergasted that a 6 year old lil girl wanted to play having sex. After talking to the lil girls parents I found out that she had indeed watched it on tv the night before and discovered that her parents do not monitor what she watched at all. So my kids got their introduction into “sex” really early. I do think at certain ages you have to monitor what they are doing and watching. As they get older they are more exposed to things and its harder to monitor because as you said its everywhere.. It is what you teach them about the things that they are exposed to that matters the most. But as a parent I wont stop trying to parent them and that means monitoring what they watch and do at this age.. Of course my children are still young.

  3. Joy says:

    I guess what I did was I was honest from the get go. If my boys asked me something, I gave them an honest answer with respect to their age. I felt that if I didn’t answer, they wouldn’t come to me. Small kids, small problems but I always kept the door open and believe it or not, they always came to me when they needed answers because they knew I’d be there for them.

    I let them watch what was on TV but when they were small, it was nothing like it is now. There was no swearing and no sex. Cable was unheard of as were satellite dishes. Renting a movie on a tape was also unheard of. It’s just so different now.

    Young kids also don’t need the “whole” answer to things. But you have to be honest I feel. I tried not to swear but I’m sure a S*** or d*** came out every now and then. I agree with you to a point Jason that kids will act different with other kids. It’s just how it is and they do have to learn what they can and can’t say in front of adults. We have to prepare them in life and that is one of those things.

  4. Ali says:

    My son is only going to be 4 in July so I’m hoping I will be able to do this right. I’m with the “telling them the truth” side. As far as I can tell, what’s the point of lying to them? I don’t let him watch whatever he wants to but we don’t watch that much TV. I’m not hysterical over it or anything, we just don’t spend a whole lot of time doing it. We have our favorite shows but don’t just sit and watch “nothing” stuff. He really likes sponge bob and I have no problem with that. I watched cartoons and I’m seemingly normal. I think!! LOL!!!!!

  5. spillay says:

    Good question. I think there is no “correct” age to talk to the children about these subjets. It all depends on our personal circumstances and the children’s frame of mind. Let’s face it – we don’t want to scare them. We just want to educate them…

    My boys are 7 and 8 this year. Although we haven’t spoken to them about sex yet – the subject of drugs does come up occasionally, usually because of advertising shown on TV. (Same with binge drinking and smoking). No doubt, the subject of sex will have to be addressed too,… the only thing I will do for now is to continue keeping my eyes open and my ears peeled.

    Spillay
    http://spillay.wordpress.com

  6. nikki says:

    Jason is a little bit more forgiving when it comes to what our son watches or hears. He does hear a lot from school and I try to be as honest as possible. I would rather him hear the truth from us. He comes to me quite often with things that are so far from the truth it blows my mind!! But at least he knows he can always come to us with any questions. I would love to shelter him and keep him with me at all times’ he is my only child after all. But I know I have to let go someday I just hope the morals and standards we have instilled in him will stay with him. So far he’s turned out pretty great. Well behaved and very respectful. All you can ask for I guess.

  7. Sue says:

    I think you have to be honest with them if they ask no matter what their age, but you can have different answers for different ages. A 4 year old doesn’t need to know all the details when it comes to sex (nor will they comprehend it) but a simple “that’s what you do to make a baby” does just fine. I had to explain to my, at the time, 6 year old daughter what sex was after the daycare provider heard her talking about it. Come to find out she’d overheard it on TV and from the older kids on the bus. I gave her the “that’s what you do to make babies” speech and then she was kind of embarrassed that she’d talked about something like that! So far so good…

  8. Candi says:

    I think that you have to be honest from the first time they start talking, when my kids were just starting to talk, instead using the words other than the correct words for the private areas, i used the correct ones. My family thought I was crazy when my children when say mommy, I have a rash on my penis at the age of 2, but they need to know. As for as drugs, children need to be taught at a young age that is wrong to use and that drugs will harm them. Being honest will only do your children good, it may be weird as first but, your children will thank you for in in the end. The sex, drugs, etc.. Talk cant wait til they are doing them, it needs to happen way before. T.V shows do not help children, My children only watch G rated things, Jared is more likely to let them watch the crap they have on T.V., however, I say what goes in my children.

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