My best friend’s gay

friendsNo he’s not but what if he was?  After year’s of thick and thin, good and bad would it bother me?  Of course not.  Imagine all the years of brotherhood, friendship and all the time’s I’ve said “that’s gay.”  How would he feel comfortable telling me he’s gay?  He has to tell me sometime right?  Or does he just live in the closet so to speak?  I had a gay uncle and I’m sure other gay family members that may be.  I just didn’t know about and friends that have come and gone.  It’s not for me but I have nothing against it.  I’m nobody special to judge.  Comments are just that, comments.  My true friends know I’m kidding, right…

This entry was posted in family, fears, feelings, friendship, judging, lifestyles, love, people, relationships, thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to My best friend’s gay

  1. Joy says:

    I completly agree with you and am proud of you that you feel this way. I loved my Uncle Ronnie so much and still think I want to pick up the phone and call him. I wish he were still here.

  2. sengdroma says:

    I agree with you, however (this is not from me), the company my husband used to work for had a friendly banter that would go on between work mates, not everyone did it but those who did made passing comments – nothing hurtful, but jokey, and very non descriminating (after all there were jokes about everyone – women, white, black, gay, bosses, animals etc etc).

    9/10 everyone laughed and saw the funny side. Unfortunately one of these work mates has now retired and wrote a nasty article in a national newspaper banding the ENTIRE company as rascist etc etc

    It has been taken as gospel by the media and some members of Parliament so much so that the Union has got involved and because of legal issues no one from the company can talk to the press ever and I mean ever unless you leave and then there are still things you cannot talk about.

    So beware that what you can say can by some people be taken the wrong way!!

    I wish it was not so.

  3. Jane says:

    I don’t care who is what. I feel if your happy in your life, it’s not up to me to decide what’s right or what’s wrong. In a small town like I am, it’s very hard for people to “come out.” There are very narrow minds around me.

  4. SKL says:

    I think it is difficult to put oneself in the shoes of others. As an adoptive parent, there are thousands of things I’ve learned over the past two years about adoption and the sensitivities of the adoption community. I have no doubt that I have made many of the ignorant/insensitive comments that I now realize are offensive. Although ignorance is an excuse up to a point, one must consider whether the benefit of making a joke at anyone’s expense, or stating a negative generalization, or even asking an intrusive question, is worth the pain that may be caused.

    I do think most people, gay and otherwise, are smart enough to know that gay jokes, etc. are not to be taken personally, especially if the person hasn’t come out. Still, it makes me uncomfortable. Maybe this is because of my experience. One Christmas eve I was wrapping gifts with “Y,” a relative whom I’d known for most of my life. As far as I knew, he was straight. Obviously I didn’t know he had just come out to his parents and another family member “Z,” who was there wrapping with us. During the wrapping, Z said of her cutting “I’m not very straight” and I said, “Are you going to come out with an announcement this Christmas?” and she said, “er, “I” am not . . . .” I didn’t get it so I just shrugged and went on. Later, Y was acting weird and I said “you’re acting like a gay” and everyone suddenly shut up. I still didn’t get it. Of course, I found out a short time later why my jokes weren’t quite as funny to others as they were to me. Honestly, in retrospect, that made them even more funny in a sit-com sort of way, but what if I had been saying worse stuff? Y’s brothers are not “officially” informed that Y is gay, but I think they know. Nevertheless, they frequently exchange mean jokes and comments about gays during family gatherings while Y is present. I am not sure why they can’t think of some other way to bond besides insulting other people. One would think they would at least make the effort if they know there is a gay person sitting right there. Y doesn’t make as much effort to come around when his brothers are there, because why torture himself? He hasn’t written them off, but the lack of empathy has probably harmed the relationship.

    Statistically, a lot of people you know are gay, so it’s probably a good idea to go easy on gays in group discussions. The same can be said for any other trait that is not obvious. I am surely guilty of these mistakes myself, but I try to think before I speak more than I used to.

  5. Ali says:

    I have a cousin who “we” all “think” is gay but he’s not saying a word about it. Instead he’s withdrawn and gotten to be such a loner. We would care less because we love him and whatever his life is, we’d accept it. It was funny for me to read this today. I was just talking to my uncle, his father about it over the weekend. We’re hesitant to talk to him about it “in case” he’s not and we think he might be hurt but on the other hand, he’s 25 and never had a girlfriend. He never dated in school, went to prom or brought a girl home. NOTHING. We pretty much know and would love him regardless. How does one ask someone this and reassure him that we love him? Maybe we should all be a little more careful about the things we say.

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