Parent’s bathing with their children??

I’m not sure if this is just me or what.  Growing up, I never even saw my parents in their underwear never mind nude.  I don’t remember ever having a shower or bath with either one of my parents.

I am 32 years old and have 4 children and I can honestly say I have never had a bath with my child.  Not even when they were newborns.  Now I hear from other family members and friends that they have baths or showers with their kids.  I can’t imagine.

I don’t know if it’s just me or what??  I don’t let my children see me or my husband naked.  What is everyone else’s opinion?  Is it just something that is “to each his own” or what???

I just personally find it wrong.  Especially when they are old enough to start asking questions-what’s this mommy or what’s that daddy??

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22 Responses to Parent’s bathing with their children??

  1. jderickson says:

    Come on lisa, wrong! Your just teaching your kids to be ashamed of their body. I have showered with bailey a lot. It won’t stop me until we both don’t fit in there. Sometimes it just saves time and water. It would be different with opposite sexes. I don’t hide anything, what for?

  2. SKL says:

    OK, now we’re getting into stuff I usually don’t talk about . . . .

    I haven’t bathed with my kids but I have thought about it a couple of times, when there really wasn’t enough time for their bath plus my shower. Logistically it just never seemed like it would work up to now. I don’t like the idea of my soaps being in their bathwater, and one of my daughters is currently afraid of the shower.

    I have let my daughters see my body. I use the bathroom when they are in the bathroom, and they look. Sometimes they are inquisitive but mostly it’s no big deal to them or me. It was the same with my mom when I was little.

    I have a vague memory of barging into the bathroom when my dad was in there and seeing something and thinking it was something other than a body part. I was probably between 2 and 4 years old. My parents were caught off guard, panicked and shooed me out of there, and that never happened again. I was confused but I don’t think I was scarred. However, I do think I’d feel funny if my girls were getting a free show of an adult male, because if they are like me, they might remember it and wonder about it later. That said, I know of people who do shower with their kids (including kids of the opposite sex) and they feel it is no big deal. To each his own.

  3. Lisa says:

    I guess that I am this way now with m y own children because it’s the way it was when I was grwoing up. My parents were NOT open about bathing together or seeing them without clothing. I guess this is something that i carried on and am teaching my kids. Don’t know if there is a right or wrong about it !

  4. TiredMom says:

    I have bathed with all my kids. They have all seen me naked. I dont feel its anything to be ashamed of. Now when they got older I try my best to keep them out of my room when i’m dressing (my son more than my girls). I just don’t see anything wrong with it. I’m comfortable with my body and want them to be the same way.

  5. Joy says:

    I never saw my dad naked but I did my mom. We would never have bathed with them. I have two boys and never took a bath with them either. First of all, it seems like to much work. How do you handle a wet baby when your wet yourself? The only time we did the bath thing with them was when we were at the cabin and my husband would take one in the shower and then the other while I was there to dry and put pj’s on and that was only because we had no tub at the cabin, only a shower.

    When our doors were closed, we knocked. We didn’t just go barging in. My boys didn’t either. They always knocked. I didn’t “hide” from them but if I were dressing or something and they walked in or by, I’d turn to the wall. It could have been the day and time and maybe things have changed. I also know it’s a cultural thing to bathr together in some countries. I wasn’t ashamed of my body but I didn’t want anyone staring at me either when I was either bathing or getting dressed.

    Besides, baths are really kind of gross to me. All that dirty water and you just sit in it and with a little kid, no thanks. I wouldn’t change it either whether it’s done that way now or not. I would just feel weird. Not ashamed, weird!

  6. Tessa says:

    I agree with Jason. My mom showered/bathed with me when I was very little. Especially when I was sick I think, because I was often. It’s only weird if you make it weird!!

  7. nikki says:

    I showered with Bailey until he was probably 4. Until he started asking what’s that, what are those? But even now if he sees’ me naked it’s no big thing, i don’t prance around the house naked(although my husband would like that). I take bubble baths with my 2 year old niece who is more like my child than niece. She loves it, it’s great bonding time. She has so much fun. They will both eventually have to shower in front of others in gym and do not want them to feel ashamed of their bodies. It’s only skin!

  8. Joy says:

    Weird is sometimes something that’s foreign to you. It would never have occurred to me to bathe with my boys. Maybe if I’d had girls, it would have been different. Ashamed isn’t the word either. Maybe privacy is a better word. I wouldn’t have wanted them to watch me sitting on the toilet either. Like I said, I didn’t hide but I didn’t put on a show either.

    Also, you have to remember that times have changed. I still think it’s dangerous to get in and out of the tub, while wet, holding a baby. Doesn’t the slipperiness bother anyone? I would be afraid I’d have dropped them. How does a person get out of the tub holding a baby? I just find it gross to take a clean baby out of the tub and put them on the floor and I feel it’s dangerous to try and get out while holding a baby when both are wet.

  9. 4wrdthnkndad says:

    I empathize with your struggle over this issue. I think the issue for me is around approriate boundaries for the children. And this in part depends on the ages of the children and the sex of the children. I think it is a parent’s responsibility to consider how stimulating the experience can be for the child. Clearly that will differ from age to age.

  10. Sue says:

    I did not bathe with either of my parents in a tub. My sister and I had to take baths together and I HATED it because it was to cramped! My brother did shower with my dad, but not all the time. My dad’s side is Finnish so my grandparents had/still have a sauna and every Friday night was/still is sauna night. You went to visit, took a sauna with your family members of the same sex, and continued on your way. It wasn’t a big deal. I can remember my mom getting the wash tubs ready for each of us and we got to play in those while she showered and then she’d get us cleaned up. I was bummed when I grew out of the wash tub because it was too hot in there for me unless you were under the shower and try sharing one shower with 4 girls!

    Now, I would never shower with my kids. They’ve seen me naked and it’s not a big deal because we all have body parts and I don’t want them to think their bodies are some secret thing, but I like having the shower to myself. I also think my kids are getting to the age that it’s time they start showering/bathing by themselves.

  11. Joy says:

    4wrdthnkndad, you hit the nail on the head. I do believe it’s the age and the sex. I’ve been trying all morning to remember when it was THEM who wanted the privacy and I’m thinking it was around 6. I could have imagined if I had said “come boys, come take a bath with mommy!” They would have said eewww!!!

  12. nikki says:

    I would never get in the shower with my son now. He’s too old, he’s at the age that he knows what’s what. I would feel weird now. But with my niece it’s different, she’s only 2 and she loves a bubble bath…and she’s a girl. My bath tub is big enough. I don’t know when I’ll stop,until it’s too cramped and no fun anymore. But right now we have a ball. I also think bubble baths are different than showering together. And to Joy about the slipping, I get out first ,dry off and get dressed in the bathroom, then get her out. She’s never out of my sight.

  13. lwayswright says:

    I did bathe with my kids when they were really little, and I remember showering with my mom when I was a little girl. But, my family was never ones to run around in their undies etc. My husband, on the other hand, was brought up in a home where none of that stuff mattered. So, to him the whole naked thing is no big deal. To me…it is more so then him. I am real shy when it comes to that stuff even with him. It is really a matter of opinion I guess.

  14. candi says:

    i agree with jason and nikki, taking a bath with kids is no big deal at a certin age, my girls are 7 and 8 i take showers with them. I change in front of them, i dont like run around my house naked. So its really no big deal, at some point in there life they need to not be ashamed of they body, and if u make a big deal about it as a child the will be ashamed. And if u do not teach them the correct words for the private parts at a early they will also be ashamed. So instead of saying pee pee, say penis,!!!!!! We were born naked.

  15. K. Trainor says:

    I bathed with my first child a couple of times when she was a baby, but I was uncomfortable. The tub seemed too small, the water not hot enough for my liking, and it was hard to maneuver a slippery wet baby when I was slippery and wet. So that was the end of that. Never tried with my second child, nor when they were older so I can’t comment on personal experience–but I’d probably feel a bit uncomfortable. They’ve seen me change, but sharing a tub with them now that they’re older? No thanks.

  16. Jane says:

    Some of you keep bringing up “shame.“ I’m not ashamed of my body. I’m not ashamed about anything but I’ve never thought about bathing with my boy. He also knows he has a “penis.” Really, some of these comments are laughable. I can’t even take a picture of my son in the tub without the risk of going to jail for child porn so I’m not about to get in the tub with him. The biggest reason is he bathes at 7, I don’t. I shower twice a day, once after morning chores and once before I go to bed. If I had a girl and wanted to take a “bubble bath” with her, it might be different but then really, I’m not a bubble bath type girl. The bottom line is I wouldn’t have wanted to shower with my mother or my father at 7 or 8 so I highly doubt my kids would want to either. I feel we all deserve some privacy in the bathroom regardless of what we’re doing in there.

    I also wanted to add Candi that we are born naked but we are also born without pierced ears, tattoo’s and other things we choose later and as soon as we are born, they put clothes on us.

  17. Jennifer says:

    I have bathed with my kids a couple times. In both cases they were very young, usually under two and there was usually some reason for it, not just fun. In one case our daughter was sick and not into sitting up in the bath, so I held onto her as we bathed her to try to make her feel better. The other times have been showers when we were in a hurry to go somewhere important, but the kids were filthy so I jump into the shower with them for a quick bathing.

    In my case, it wasn’t so much that I had an aversion to bathing with them, but I had two kiddos 14 months apart. We usually bathe the two of them together, so there’s definitely no room for me in the tub!!! LOL!

    I was raised in a family where I don’t recall ever to this day ever seeing my father’s legs, and his feet only a handful of times. He always wears workboots and jeans, is careful to keep himself hidden from sight whenever changing his clothing. Even during the hot summer, he would never put on shorts. I did see my mother occasionally while she was changing her clothes. But overall I was raised in a house that did not approve of nudity. Now that my parents are aging and have had bouts of ill health it has been very alarming and humbling simultaneously at various points as I’ve had to care for them and see them nude.

    I want my own children to be comfortable in their own skin. Currently my kids see both my husband and I at various stages of dress and undress. If they walk into the bedroom as we’re getting ready for the day and I’m not going to freak out about it. There’s no reason to give them the idea that there’s anything to be alarmed about. I’m sure as my kids get older that will change a bit, but right now it’s ok and I answer any questions that my oldest child (3 1/2) asks. They also understand that it’s not the same when we visit other people, or when they’re at daycare etc. Without us having to say anything, they take note of the fact that we don’t undress while visiting at Grandma’s with the same freedom that we do at home. And that it’s not appropriate to walk around someone else’s house in the nude.

    Despite this though recently I’ve noticed my daughter already will hide in her closet to get dressed when others if anyone, including me, or only me even, is in the room. She says she doesn’t want anyone to see her. This makes me sad. There are so few years that you can truly get away with the ability to be naked and have it be socially acceptable. She’s already given up her time. 😦

  18. sarah says:

    i dont know if iam allowed to ad my coment here,but here goes.
    iam a 16 year old girl,who has only one parent,thats my mom,and a 14 year old brother,things are hard,we have a tough life,we do manage to get along.
    i always have a bath with my brother.i have nothing to hide.i dont mind at all letting him see my nude body,mom knows we bath together,she some times dresses in front of us.
    we are not nudest,and iam still a virgin.
    and i am proud of the way we live.
    any one living the same as me dont be shy,tell it to all out there,and let them know that you are happy!

  19. kevin says:

    I have 3 daughters age 8 , 14 and 17 i have had showers with all of them and they see me naked and i see them i dont see nothing wrong with it

  20. jovanna says:

    very disgusting…!

  21. Pete says:

    I stopped at 6 but i think 7 or 8 years old has really got to be the cut off point where we do not wash our penis in front of our children. Some of the comments on here are incredible. Its not about being embarrassed of our bodies. I wouldn’t want to come to some of your family get togethers that’s for certain. Grandpa Joe walking around flashing his old boy whilst Gradma Dot follows him dragging her tits around on the floor!

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