Friends competing over life

This is happening close to my husband and I.  We have a close group of friends and it seems like they compete for everything.  First it started out who was getting married first.  So, now they are all married.  Well guess what the next “first” was?  Who was going to get pregnant first and now it’s a race to see who can get pregnant the second time “first.” 

It just stuns me that they are seeing life as a race or a competition.  I don’t understand why they are doing this.  My husband and I compete with no one.  If it’s something we want we get it and if not, we don’t.

The things they are competing for are life changing things.  Why????  Does anyone else have friends/siblings that do things like this or that this happens to?  Is it just a peer pressure thing???

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11 Responses to Friends competing over life

  1. Christine says:

    I can so relate to this. I notice more as I’ve become older it is the material things people are competitive about and the showing off. I can’t stand this. (maybe because I can’t compete myself.)

  2. Joy says:

    I’m with Christine, I’ve noticed it more with “things” but never with something like getting married or having a baby. That’s just crazy.

  3. Smilf says:

    Oh wow, we have friends like this as well. Who can build a house first, who can have a baby first, etc. I can’t stand when people get like that. It’s life people! Live it – it’s not a competition!
    Love your blog!

  4. Joy says:

    Thanks Smilf.

  5. K. Trainor says:

    My family always has a running joke about who will have the next baby, but I don’t think there’s an actual competition. I do see a ‘keep up with the Jones’s’ mentality in our society, though. And you’re right–it’s odd.

  6. nikki says:

    We don’t have this problem with our friends. I think that’s awful to live your lives always “keeping up with the Jones”, how pathetic. We know one person who I actually do not really consider a friend anymore who looks for the negativity in everything…when it comes to everyone but him. We’ve been friends with him for many years and he’s worked with Jason for the last few. He hasn’t always been like this but it’s gotten s bad I really just can’t stand him anymore. He hates the fact Jason is moving up in his career!! He’ll come into MY house and nit pick little things like why I have this picture next to this nick knack. Why does he care is my question?! Maybe he thinks it makes him look smart or feel better about himself, who knows. All I know is he looks the complete opposite of smart and I cringe at the thought of him coming over even for a minute. I don’t get the competition thing, I’ll leave that for the junior high girls!!!

  7. Ali says:

    This is completely ridiculous. I DO know a group of people like this and it drives me crazy. Now they are all trying for the second baby like it’s a race. Insane. Lisa is right, these are life changing behaviors and not something to “race” into without thought.

  8. amberfireinus says:

    I don’t understand that “keeping up with the Jones’s” mentality either. If you are truly friends, then you celebrate each others successes and mourn each others disappointments. Those are the things that bind you together. It seems strange that anyone would race for things like children.

    Maybe you should really ask them… is this what you intend??? Because this is the way it is seen!

    Just a thought for you….

  9. SKL says:

    I don’t know. I suppose I’ve known people like this but I just feel sorry for them for not having better things to think about.

    If I were in a race to have kids, I would have been really frustrated, since I didn’t become a mom until I was 41. And the funny thing is, I was the one who wanted kids the most desperately. But I was racing against my own fate, not other people’s. We are all so different anyway – there is no way our lives could have ended up parallel.

    There was a time when my group of friends used to joke that none of us was ever going to get married. Since then, all the guys have gotten married and had kids, but all the women are still single. Is that funny? Maybe it’s because we are all MBAs (we met at MBA school)? Perhaps I should stop teaching my daughters their numbers . . . .

  10. Jason says:

    Did you know if you put a crab in a barrel or cage it will get out. If there are two in there neither will get out. As soon as one tries to get out the other will pull it down. I’m just sayin’

  11. Jane says:

    I know people like this but not to the extreme of having kids. There are people who want more, just to have more than someone else but I’m not really sure why that is.

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