Manners, how important do you think they are?

I’m wondering how important manners are to you.  I was raised to say please and thank you, excuse me and bless you.  If someone gave me something, I said thank you.  If I asked someone for something, I said please.  Do most people still do this?  If I ask someone for something, it wouldn’t occur to me not to say please and the same goes for thank you.  Even my husband and I who live here alone, say please and thank you to each other for things we do for one another.

I taught my boys the same thing.  They were always so polite.  If they forgot, which wasn’t often, all I had to do was clear my throat and they said the appropriate response, please or thank you.  You can’t even imagine how many people complimented me on them when they were young.  Mostly from waitresses and waiters.  I just kind of thought everyone did this.

I had the good luck to go with all three of my grandchildren to a really nice restaurant last Sat night for supper.  Two of them will be 8 this summer and the other will be 4.  I was so proud inside and out.  They are like little carbon copies of their dads at that age.  Probably their mom’s too but I can’t take the credit for that.  They said please and thank you for EVERYTHING at the right times.  When the waitress brought their drinks, they said thank you.  When we placed our order they said please.  Also when food was brought and plates were cleared.  I was so proud of them. 

I was out with my granddaughter one day and there was a little girl there who was so rude to her aunt that had it been me that was talked to that way, I would have taken that child and left and taken her home.  I was so appalled and I thought “what is this world coming to” so my joy at this is HUGE.  Way to go Jason, Nikki, Bailey, Toby, Sue, Trinity and Christopher.  I am proud of you and love you.


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16 Responses to Manners, how important do you think they are?

  1. shane says:

    Things are different now Joy. I don’t think parents are around their kids as much now a days. Even older people are rude these days. It’s pretty rare when I hear please and thank you come out of people’s mouths. I was at taco bell last week and this couple came in the door and the guy almost ran me over and said “get the hell outta my way”, then they where totally rude to the guy at the register and they where teaching this to their kid who was probably about 8 years old.

  2. For me manners go a long way in telling you about a child or adults upbringing, they say good manners is the biggest compliment to a parent. Personally I can’t stand bad manners, a missed thank you or a please is fine – table manners (every night I sit opposite a guy who can’t chew with his mouth closed and he talks at the same time… the food goes everywhere gross) and general curtsey are very high in my books. *hats off* to you and your boys, they say a parent who teaches their child manners does a great service to the world, i tend to agree 😀

  3. Joy says:

    Shane, if that really is happening, it’s so sad.

    Thanks Sanity.

  4. candi says:

    My Children for the most part say please and thank you, although i am not the drill sergeant type a parent. My kids have manners. I have three and having is a handfull, so taking them anyway, is going to lead into a long event, lol.

  5. Mary says:

    My children were all taught to say please and thank you. They were also taught how to appropriately answer the phone. All of them have received compliments on their politeness, which is fabulous. I think basic manners help to smooth a person’s path in life. Isn’t it easier to give something to a nice person rather than a nasty one? (French Daughter is extraordinarily polite, too!)

  6. nikki says:

    I think manners are SOOOOOO important!!!Thank you Joy for instilling those manners in your kids and they have for sure been passed on. We are pretty lucky!!! I can take Bailey anywhere and not worry about him yelling or running around like a crazy chicken with his head cut off. I also think that a child yelling at their parents or telling them “no” and defying their parents are the worst kind of manners. When we’re out at softball or just out playing he’s you’re typical 8 year old boy having fun but still being respectful. I have never had anyone complain about my son or say one bad word about him. I don’t think you have to be a drill sergeant to have basic manners it should just be a way of life. So thank you Bailey, Trinity, and Christopher. I love you more than all the stars in the sky, I’m very proud of the 3 of you:) Nice post Joy!!!

  7. darryl says:

    I think manners are very important I was always telling my kids to say please and thank you. To me being polite shows respect for others, It seems nowdays alot of people only care about themselves. Nice post Joy. THANKS!

  8. Joy says:

    Thanks everyone. I think they are important too.

  9. SKL says:

    I was definitely taught early that if I didn’t say please and thank you and such, people would think I was ignorant as well as rude. I think as young people get busier, they are more and more focused on “me” and fail to notice that their behavior has an effect on others. Therefore I feel the best thing is to teach the habit of basic manners while little ones are just learning to talk – when they spend their whole time around their parents or other adults selected by their parents. My kids hear please, thank you, excuse me, and sorry all the time. I use these words when it makes sense and, since the girls are too young (though A does say her own version of “please” and sometimes “thank you”), I make a point to say the words for them, even (or especially?) to their sister. I am hoping that they will get in the habit of being polite before they are old enough to even consider the alternative. Their nanny models please and thank you for the girls, but she tends to say “move” instead of “excuse me,” so I’m trying to work on her, too.

    I have always been reasonably polite, but as I’ve gotten older, I find myself being more careful to think of something nice to say. I remember my grandmother and how kind and proper she was, and I hear myself talking like her, without even intending to. Why? Well, I think with maturity we get more mindful of how others are feeling and how they will take things. A kind word takes no effort at all, so why not use them whenever we can? I hope that’s the attitude I’m modeling for my kids.

  10. Pingback: Good manners cost nothing but are worth so much… « Life, laughter, love and light….

  11. Amber says:

    I wrote a post ages ago about this very subject. You made me dust it off and re-post it. I think manners are so valuable in this world. They cost the person nothing, but are worth everything.

    Good for all of you parents who teach their children the right way. Holding doors and chairs for ladies for the boys, and polite demeanor for girls. It gives me hope.

    Love this post Joy!

  12. Sue says:

    I’m very glad that so far my children have manners and use them! Now, does my 3 year old tell me no? Yes, and why wouldn’t he? He’s 3 trying to test his boundries. I think all kids go through a defiant stage, but it’s how they come out that matters. Kids of all ages test their parents and it’s the parents job to PARENT, not be the best friend. I think if everyone had a parent who parented people would be friendlier.

  13. Jane says:

    I also feel manners are vital. I also am a firm believer in children learn what they live. If you say please and thank you to your child, I feel they will just learn that because that’s what they hear so to them, it will be normal. We never needed reminding. If someone gave us something, we said thank you and if we asked someone for something, we said please.

    Great post Joy, we always need reminders. THANK YOU 🙂

  14. Tosha says:

    Manners are VERY important. I always make it a point to tell people thank you, please, etc. My kids have had manners drilled into their heads since they were toddling..

  15. Oscar says:

    I was raised in a culture where being raised with a thoughtfull and considerate mind is extremely important so, now i am raising my two boys to have these perspectives. Please, excuse me, thank you, polite behavior,table manners, etc.. is my way of living, eventhough i don’t get much of it back from the outside world) and this is the way i am bring my boys up. We are living in a world full of thoughtless kids and teenagers, that i feel parents are to blame for this. It is so easy to talk to your kids, that is all it really takes but i guess some parents can’t be bothered and that equals clueless and rude kids when it comes to manners. I get plenty of compliments from teachers and outside people about my boys, at 5 and 6 they already now when to say hello,thank you, please, excuse me, and respect. Having good manners gets you plenty of smiles so, parents please help raise polite kids . It will pay off in the long run.

  16. David says:

    Manners are very important, i was taught many good things like saying hello when you enter a place and when you leave go around and says your goodbyes. It is very hard to see that now a days, especially from teenagers, poor manners mainly because the parents don’t bother to teach any. I have a brother in law who is by far an inconsiderate, thoughtless, selfish punk and at 30 yrs. he hasn’t changed a bit. The man is sitting home on his fat ass, while his mother is taking the bus home from work on a cold winters night or on a hot summers day. My wife and her sisters have completely given up on dogging him for his thoughtless and inconsiderate act, he will never learn they say! But I blame the parents for this because my wife tells me that her mother who was a single parent raising her and her 2 sisters were never taught manners and that they learned on their own as they grew. So i believe in order to prevent this type of cruel behavior parents should do their best in talking to their kids about manners and respect. It’s very important

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