Online Fibbing

I’m curious to know how many of us are on-line fibbers?  Are you always telling the truth when you write stories or make comments or do you maybe smudge the lines to make it look better?  Now, I don’t really give a rats behind if you fib or not.  I just thought it would be an interesting question to throw out there.

I do think that when online with people you don’t know you do have to guard yourself.  They tell you not to post too much information for a reason!  But, not revealing things about yourself to complete strangers and making your comment better than it would be without the lie is different.  I can remember 12 years ago when I chatted for the first time, I made up who I was because my cousin told me to!   How dumb!  Chatting never thrilled me and what fun is it to talk to someone who may or may not be who they say?  Haven’t been to a chat room since. 

All the posts that I write are real.  What’s the point to fib about something that happened to me or someone I know?  Especially with how many family members read this blog!  It’s not like I’m sitting with a bunch of strangers that know nothing about me or my life!

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25 Responses to Online Fibbing

  1. Amber says:

    Sue, what a great topic.

    I ran a chat room for years. It was a very popular channel. I saw and heard absolutely everything on that thing. Stories that would raise your hair! Men pretending to be women, women pretending they are young and single, men always saying they are single and never are.

    I made it a policy in my particular channel that if I ever caught anyone in a lie they would be booted out immediately. I didn’t really care who was bonking who in the privacy of their own box but they were not to bring it to the channel, nor were they allowed to be online cassanovas.

    I never lie online. What is the point? I am who I am, and I am happy with me. I post my real pictures and talk about who I really am. My husband reads my blog, and so do my closest friends.

    I don’t even exaggerate. I always believe that I will meet up with those I chat to/ blog with. The main thing that everyone says to me when they have met me in real life is that Im prettier and younger looking in person…lol. I doubt that but its nice to hear.

    Online liars are scum. There are people on the other side of those keyboards…. they have feelings.

  2. Unfortunately I have a hard time lying and I always say you can ask me anything, anything at all and if I can’t answer I will avoid it or tell you so. The internet can give people false securities. They build this wall around themselves of what they “want” to be to help them cope with their day-to-day insecurities as to not deal with them in waking life. Like Amber said, it is easy to forget that there is a person on the other end of the “line” who has a heart beat and feelings.

    My blog is all fact, too factual for some of my family members as they do not know my full story – if they find it then it is their own doing, their choice.

    I have met many life-long friends through blogging and other online mediums, they are genuine and I am lucky to have “met” them – one day hopefully in person. Great topic and thoughts, thanks you!

  3. darryl says:

    This post reminds me of the Brad Paisley song “online”. I dont lie about anythig, I have nothing to hide and If you dont like me for who I am so be it.

  4. Candi says:

    Hi, I dont lie about anything, My parents taught me not to lie, they were really big at the lieing thing. I tell it like it is, or should be. However, I do not revealed my really city on a certain, website, because there are nutty people in this world. I do remember when, i was younger and the chat rooms came out, I always wondered if the people on there was real, or telling the truth. I didn’t spend much time in there as a younger adult. On a blog like this, no reason to lie about anything, like Joy said, its mainly people that knows about your life, not complete strangers. Joy, by the way I really look forward to a new blog each day, this is my first wesite I read in the mornings. I love this!!!!!!!

  5. SKL says:

    I don’t lie, but I must admit there are times when I don’t give a “balanced view” of things – mainly when discussing very controversial topics on public websites. Like if I am speaking in favor of a particular behavior, because in 95% of cases I’ve observed it was beneficial, I may give examples from the 95% but not the other 5%. I figure there are plenty of people giving the other one-sided view in that type of forum. I usually only do this if I’m way in the minority (like on ultra-liberal Websites, which, why do I even torture myself?)

    I do try not to give too much info about my identity, and there may have been times when I’ve provided a slightly different geographical place, for example. I don’t think anyone would view that as lying or fibbing in the online context.

  6. Smilf says:

    Very good question. I don’t lie about anything that I post online, however, I choose to change names and keep my real identity a secret. That is for personal reasons though. So technically our names are all lies – does that count?? : )

  7. Joy says:

    Thanks Candi. Sue wrote this one though. You can see each day who has written, the author is right under the title. Thanks for coming.

    Oh my, you are all so pure!! J/K No, I don’t lie here on this blog. How can I when my kids, husband, brother, dad, nephews, cousins, neighbor and a lot of people that I actually know, come here and participate? But I really don’t lie very well. I have on occasion fudged the truth at times but for safety reasons like not giving my real name or real home location. I never really did the chat rooms. I did go to a Vikings chat room years ago and met two people that I still email. They turned into very good friends. I suppose I have lied about little things like I had to go somewhere or had to do a chore so I could escape. Or I made myself sound like I had to go do something when I really just wanted to take a nap.

    But lying, no I never really did that. I may have embellished the truth somewhat but I don’t feel that’s lying. I started this blog to meet others and just talk so what’s the point of making things up?

  8. nikki says:

    You know Sue this is a great post!!!! I think sometimes people lie because they want to fit in or make themselves seem “better”. I don’t get it. I don’t do it. Hold back a little sure. But never LIE. What’s the point really. There are people in here in my offline life that would know if I’m lying! I guarantee there are STILL people fibbing about fibbing! Everyone should just be honest because they’re only lying to themselves.

  9. Joy says:

    Nikki do you think it’s because we don’t always see ourselves the way others do or we don’t see ourselves in similar situations? I’ve talked to people before about something and was “hinting” to them but they never saw the same-ness in themselves.

    For example, my mom not only let us drink when we were under age but she bought it for us as well as condoning I smoked when I was 14 but today, she acts like she was Mother Theresa and I swear, she doesn’t see things the way they really were. So what would that be called? Selective memory?

    I remember once when Toby was 17 and he was having a beer and my mom flipped out completely. HOW DARE YOU LET HIM HAVE A BEER!!!! We were in our own home, nobody was going anywhere and he was months away from graduating. When I was 17 I was living in Michigan and living pretty much my own life on my own, and she would buy me tequila to take somewhere else???? WTF???

  10. SKL says:

    I do think we have selective memory, for real.

    I know there have been times when I’ve said “I don’t know anyone who ___,” but then an hour later, or the next day, I recall a couple people who __. Then, how many of us have sworn “I NEVER said that” and then realized later that they may really have said it? I think our “memory” is partly influenced by our logic – I obviously did not do something that I don’t believe in; but maybe my beliefs were different then? Maybe my reason was so clouded by my emotion that it seemed like the right thing at the time? The older I get, the less exact my memory is – or is it because life with kids is more distracting? I don’t know, but I think there are many times when people say things that are “not true” but they are not “lying.”

    However, I am equally sure that some “fibbing” goes on online. Probably not so much in a place where everyone knows each other, though.

  11. Jennifer says:

    I agree with you SKL. I tend to share the 95% that I want and leave out the 5% that I prefer not to share.

    I wouldn’t say that I lie, but I tend not to share details that I think would paint me in a negative light. I might choose wording etc, that would be less likely to cause controversy versus being confrontational. But I’m like that in person too.

  12. nikki says:

    Oh she does that all the time Joy. Just the other night she was telling me that she was so good to the boys. And I’m sure she was at times but I’ve heard the stories!! I honestly think people don’t see in themselves what they so easily see in other people. It’s easier that way. To look at a relationship and judge it and not see that their relationship is not much better. Or they think that nothing is wrong with them. Some people have major blinders on I think.

  13. Tosha says:

    I see no point in lying to someone. Now if someone asks me personal information I might give them a round about answer and not give away detailed information. But I don’t lie. If I dont want to answer something I dont. I dont make up things to make myself better than I am.

  14. Just a Mom says:

    The events that I write about are real but the names have been changed or just not used to protect the innocent and not so innocent!

  15. Joy I think your mom and my mom should get together, smoking is the spawn of satan to mine and she is oh so chuffed that I’ve stopped (to the point that I lit one in front of her the other day) but she forgets the fact that she is the one that dared me to smoke when I was just 12 – aye … sorry am craving so thought of that lol

    PS Sue where is that photo… 🙂

  16. kweenmama says:

    Everything I blog about is true. And same with my comments on other people’s blogs. I have given myself and my family members aliases on my blog to protect our identity, but the events I write about are all true.

  17. Sue says:

    Jennifer, I’m so glad you said what you did! I think all of us tend not to share details that make us seem less than perfect and use ‘selective wording’. I have. Does it mean that I lied? No, it just means some things are private and I’d like to keep them that way.

    As far as changing names and things, I don’t see that as lying either. You’re protecting someone/something else, but if you’ve changed the story all together for whatever reason, then you’re fibbing.

    I think it takes a lot of self awareness to be able to admit our faults to others. No one wants to look bad or be looked down upon, but I think fibbing makes you look worse. Thanks for all the great comments! I think Nikki may have a point…some people still fib about fibbing!

  18. Jason says:

    I know for a fact that everbody lies. Weather it be for privacy, image, or sparing someones feelings. White lies get me through life. Not answering the phone late for work or questions from grandparents. On the computer I might exaggerate but I don’t flat out lie. I might give 95% of the story like jennifer said just for family members sake. But as far as my info, ask. theres too many in here for my to lie to without getting caught. And before everyone asks, just to save time.
    Yes, it’s that big
    And no, I’m very happily married………….but call me just in case

  19. Joy says:

    Your terrible Jason!!

  20. Sue says:

    No, he’s just living in dream land!!!

  21. nikki says:

    I’ll second that Sue. Sorry Jason but you don’t need any help when it comes to your ego!!

  22. Ali says:

    I really don’t lie, I am just careful to say really personal things that my husband or parents may not want to me divulge. I’ve been around the Internet for a long time so I know how games are played. I don’t really go a whole lot of places anymore where there could/might be trouble. This is the only blog I come to and I highly doubt any of you are going to come hunt me down so what’s the point of lying on here?

    You guys, this blog is always so full of good stuff!

  23. Jason says:

    better watch what you say ali, I will hunt you down…………

  24. Jane says:

    I don’t lie but I don’t tell what I feel is unnecessary. Why would I paint myself in a bad light? But I don’t say anyone’s names (that may change since you guys all do it, I feel I know most of you) that I know or say where exactly I live and things like that. I just live in to small of a town and you just never know. I do know for a fact that people do lie. I’ve seen it. I know my girlfriend lies in chat rooms and the such. I have no idea why because like I tell her, if your lying, what’s to say the person your talking to isn’t lying too?? Then what’s the point of that? I’d rather just keep things simple and honest and if I don’t choose to tell something, then I don’t.

  25. documentarycharmed says:

    My brother is a liar (online and in real life), but the online lies are whoppers. His profiles on dating sites are nothing BUT lies! If you look at his MySpace page, there are lies which contradict one another. For example, in one place he says he lives in one city. One column over, he give another city as his place of residence. He lies about his income (he’s usually jobless, but claims to earn huge salaries) and his employment, saying he works in television and film or as a writer. There’s nothing he won’t lie about.

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