Do believe that the term “guilty by association” is true?
what people are talking about
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Us Girls..Our Views 
It is only true according to the person judging, then it doesn’t matter what is truth and what is not.
That’s exactly what I think SF. You know whether or not you are guilty of doing something wrong or not. Just b/c you’re friends or the company you keep might not be making the wisest decisions doesn’t mean you are making those same mistakes. It’s the people outside looking in and judging.
Man, I’m a moron. I was getting this ready for tomorrow and hit publish instead of save. I have to get off here now and go clear my head!!! Sorry!!
LOL! I was wondering why it was up. Just thought you were bored or something.
I’m not really sure what it means – maybe I’m the moron here. If I have a friend who has gone down the wrong path, does that make me a bad person? I have been in that situation various times. When I was a teen, I befriended some youngsters who had problems, including some aspects of delinquency. Personally, I was a huge prude at that stage of my life. But I also felt that it was wrong to shun or mistreat others just to preserve one’s own image. I had many opportunities, but did not partake and never encouraged my friends to do anything illegal or self-destructive. Outsiders may have made all kinds of assumptions – indeed, I was accused of some things I wouldn’t dream of doing – but that does’t make it “true.” For that matter, why didn’t people assume that my friends were righteous by association with me? After all, they wouldn’t do “those things” when I was around.
As an adult, I’ve associated with some folks whose morals/values/principles aren’t in line with mine, and I suppose some folks may make assumptions about me. I really don’t care. The important people know what they need to know about me. I’m not planning to run for president!
I’m not really sure what this means either. I’ve given it a lot of thought. This is what it means “to me.” For example: you go bowling one night and one of the people on your league has robbed a bank. You weren’t with her but now tonight you are bowling with her. Where you in the bad act? No. I think it depends on what the act is and if you were involved and if you knowingly were involved with a really bad thing. This is to broad for me to answer. I do feel “most times” the punishment has to fit the crime. Just being friends doesn’t mean you had anything to do with the “crime.”
I guess people assume that if you spend enough time with someone, their bad ideas will rub off on you. Like, you’ll get desensitized or forget the basis for the values your parents taught you.
I think that can happen if there are a lot of holes in your self-confidence, or for whatever reason your world view is warped.
I have always been able to see that people on the “wrong path” tend to be unhappy. And, I realized that the consequences of breaking certain rules weren’t worth it. My friends were in no position to convince me otherwise. Nor did they try, for the most part. I think they actually liked having a friend who wasn’t mired in the same mess they were in; who wouldn’t just pull them down further.
I remember all those sayings I used to hear – one bad apple, birds of a feather – but it just wasn’t true in my experience.
If all your friends are drinkers, are you? If one of your friends cheat on their spouse and you go out with her, will you cheat? If your friends are just crazy in general. does that make you crazy? Probably not but to people outside looking in, they may think you do that stuff too. I asked this question because Jason thinks it’s true most of the time. You become like the company you keep. I don’t think that is always true. It is a broad questions, but I think it is only true in some cases and mostly only to the people looking in.
Girl no way is that true, you chose your life.
I do feel “some” things rub off but not general morals. I feel either you have them or you don’t. But I’ve been known to be around certain “Canadians” and I do take on a part of them. I’m not saying they are bad things, but part of that is true I feel. Speech is one. If I’m with Lisa for any length of time, we start talking like each other. Her husband always knows when she talks to me because she’ll use one of my words or phrases. But as far as cheating or things like that, I don’t feel that kind of stuff “rubs” off.
I don’t have an absolute answer to this one, but more often than not, yes.
My favorite example is my former IL’s. She was awful, and he would try to soften the blow and clear a path. The truth is that if he had ever put his foot down and told HER that she should make some changes then it may have made a difference. The word that comes to mind is enabling. He enabled her to continue to go on her tirades. Guilty by association there because I always felt that if he had acted he could have made a difference.
Good question!
It does get the brain going doesn’t it? It’s interesting to find out what people think:) Thanks for your comment:)
I think we can be influenced by other people, but only so far as we allow it. And whether we influence one other in a good or bad way is OUR choice. Jesus was known to hang out with sinners, so… 🙂
oh yes very true!!!
There are times when I feel it is “true” and there are times when its not.. Growing up I was always told ,”you are the company you keep” . I was told that day after day.. It may not be how you are on the inside but its what people are going to see on the outside and sometimes that makes a world of difference in life.. What people think can make or break you. It shouldnt but it often does.. Doesnt matter if we like it or not often we are guilty by association in that we make a choice to surround ourselves with these people that we feel might not be the best choices to surround ourselves with.
For example growing up I had a friend who would steal everytime we went to the store.. Didnt matter that I wasn’t stealing if she ever got caught i’d be lumped in with her because we were together. For awhile I went places with her and her bad name started to rub off on me. .. Eventually i learned she was just going to get me into trouble even though i wasnt doing anything wrong and I stopped hanging out with her.
I pretty much agree with Tosha. As sad as it seems, it is like that. People do associate you for you chum around with. It shouldn’t be that way but it is. I once was a friend with someone who was always stealing and one day I went to the store with my dad and the saleslady kept following me around and my dad asked me how that felt? I told him I didn’t like it and he said that’s what happens and it wasn’t fair but they didn’t know I wasn’t stealing right along with her. She never outgrew it and to this day is always in trouble but we parted ways years ago.