Just when I thought it’s September and everything will slow down. Yea right!! Bailey has football every 
Saturday morning and Jason will be starting his football season here in a couple weeks. As if softball and football weren’t enough, now Jason has joined a Monday night bowling league with the softball guys. Don’t get me wrong, I like going out and seeing my friends but I’m pooped!! This summer was too much for me, mentally, physically, emotionally. I feel like I have aged by 10 years just over the summer.
Saturday night we went to a friends surprise birthday party. I haven’t seen her in 2 years!! I had a good time, had 2 drinks and left. It’s just not in me anymore. I regretted even having the 2 drinks and have come to the realization that I am DONE!!! I just felt gross. Anyways, that’s not what this post is about really.
So lets get to the point of this post. Jason has this “friend”, I say “friend” because I’m not a big fan of his. Jason graduated with him and they haven’t seen each other in years. Well his parents live in our town and he is now staying with them. He’s always trying to get us to go out and is ALWAYS trying to get Jason to do something. Jason works hard and likes to spend his weekends at home with is family, as do I.
So Thursday night this “friend” says to us, “why don’t you come over and we’ll have a bonfire and maybe go on a boat ride tomorrow night? Or you can just be lazy and stay home.” UMMMM….EXCUSE ME???!!! Who has a job? Not you. Who has a million things to do in one day? Not you!!! I don’t call us lazy. I call us a family who likes to spend time at home enjoying each others company. And every time Jason and I don’t agree on something…anything, he says “STOP FIGHTING!!” That’s not called fighting, it’s called having a conversation!!! So annoying!! And every time I say anything remotely argumentative he makes that hand gesture like I’m talking too much or talking nonsense.
I would be a happy little camper if he’d just go away. I can honestly say I now know why he is no longer married!!! He’s just a rude person. Jason and I do not like when people just stop by announced. Sometimes….fine, but always….not okay!! He’s so bad that he came to our house on Saturday and we were at Walmart. My brother made the mistake of telling him we were at Walmart. He came and found us!!! Can you believe that?? I couldn’t!! I was so irritated by the time we left that store you could probably see the smoke coming from my ears!! Not 10 minutes after we get home, the phone rings. Yup it’s him, we did not answer that phone. Why should I have to hide out in my house?? Or screen my calls. And now we have to duck and hide when we’re out in public?? I used to love the fact that we lived in a small town and knew everybody but I’m seriously rethinking all that. Makes me want to move out in the middle of nowhere land so we can just live our lives peacefully!! Does anyone else have this problem or am I just a selfish, lazy b**ch??
Us Girls..Our Views 
You are normal, that guy has a problem. Maybe you and Jason can come up with the perfect comeback that will make him shut up and stop wearing out his welcome all the time.
How sad it is for a grown man to have to move back in with mom and dad.
Can you imagine how envious he is of your family?
Your husband is the one who has to have “the talk” with his old HS pal. Tell the guy that y’all aren’t in high school and that the family is THE priority, that he has worked hard to achieve the life style that your family enjoys. Tell him that you would be willing to include him in SOME things but that showing up unannounced and belittling you when you talk is not going to be tolerated. Tell the guy that if he treats you (the wife) disrespectfully he will be called on it right then and there regardless of who or where you are.
In the words of the great philosopher Barney Fife, “Nip it in the bud. Nip it in the bud. Nip it in the bud.”
You deserve way more respect than this guy is giving you.
He’s creeping me out and I barely know him! I think Jason has to have a talk with him about what your priorities are as a family and if he can’t respect that then I don’t know! As for making hand gestures when you’re talking, I think that is completely rude and I can’t believe Jason hasn’t knocked him one yet for it! Good luck. I know how irritating annoying friends can be!!
I think that’s it, he is jealous of what we have and he does not have that. His marriage failed and he has no job but he thinks making others feel stupid makes him look smarter. I’ve gotten to the point where I am almost a b***ch to him as soon as I see him, and that is NOT me!! I’d like to think I am a very nice person but he sure knows how to bring the mean side of me out!!
Nikki, I know exactly what your talking about it sucks to kide in your own house. I went to the mall of america for me and one of my girlfriends one year anniversry. So the night was set a fancy dinner and riding some rides in camp snoopy. This friend shows up at my dad’s house and he tells where I am. We were on a ride and when we passed by the crowd there he was. So we had to hide the rest of the night. You guys need to just tell this guy where his welcome starts and ends if you know what I mean.
You need to tell him to nikki Don’t let this guy be a jerk to you guys. Hes probably expecting Jason to still be the same party animal he was back in high school.
Sue sorry I must have sent my comment b4 I saw yours. Jason doesn’t see all the things Brent does. Larry has though and I’m surprised he hasn’t knocked him out. Jason feels sorry for him though and he keeps saying, he has no friends. Well I’m getting a pretty good idea of why that is!!
Yeah, the hand thing . . . honestly the thought that comes to mind is to say “F U” every time he does it and then continue your conversation (assuming Bailey is out of earshot). Not very feminine, but this guy needs someone to tell him how obnoxious that particular gesture is. Now, of course the “right” way to handle it is to warn him crisply once “that is very rude and obnoxious” and then on the second offense start with the “F U.”
And I agree that Jason should make it clear that his friends must respect you. My dad once heard my brother-in-law getting obnoxious with my mom when he was in the other room. He went in and calmly but clearly said, “You will speak to my wife the way I speak to my wife.”
Eric~ he does expect Jason to be the same party animal, you hit that right on the nail!
SKL~ I love that, you speak to my wife the way I speak to my wife!!
Nicole, i think that he enjoys your and jason company, as we all did.(Do). I think that he wants to hang out alot like alot of tried to you. No u are not a lazy b**ch.
Whatever!! He is rude and I don’t want him as my company!! Some people just don’t get it. You treat me like shit and expect me to want you as company?? Give me a break! I don’t need people like that in my life!
the Difference now is when I don’t wanna do something I don’t. It takes people awhile, some longer then others. But If you don’t need my help don’t nag me about hanging out. I will do anything to help some one out. Usaully more then I should. I understand he’s lived out here awhile with no friends, I did it once. Then you meet some one and you finally feel like there are some good things in the middle of no where. But the hard part is I’ve known him for 25 years. same little league, hockey and classes. And if you ask 20 of my friends from H.S. 19 would say I would never change. i think he’s slowly catching on but not as fast as Nicole would like. I would do the same if it were her friend. It’s hard and tiring exsplaing to people the way I feel about family. I know I’m not the only one who prefers family over freinds, but out of all my freinds it’s exception not the rule. Looking back I know everyone has had a friend that won’t let go of the old you. But I’ve said it before, what if all you have in common is the past?. Brent is not my best freind by any mean, but yet a friend. I know he will be out of his parents and my life soon enough. till then he just will slowly realize how I live. WE live. He can be a pain in the ass, but i don’t mind telling him or any one else ( no, I don’t feel like it ). I’m lazy at home but Bailey always knows where I am.
NEWS ALERT!!!!!!!! JASON HAS MADE A COMMENT!!!!
maybe you guys should have him just read this post, and then he will leave you alone. I know many people would if this was written about them.
I would just tell him this is how you feel, because it more harsh then having think that you guys want to hang out. Tell him, hoe you feel, straight up. Then he will leave ya alone.
I don’t tell him I want to hang out. And like mssc54 said, we would include him on SOME things but he is going to ruin that completely. There is a line and he is crossing it. I’m not one to hurt someones feelings by saying exactly how I feel. I am learning to, to a point but I am not a mean b**tchy person and don’t want to be. There should always be respectful boundaries.
I’ve encountered similar situations, and it always makes me think of an episode of M*A*S*H… in which Margaret was having difficulties with her future mother-in-law (Mrs. Penobscott) talking down to her. In the scene, Hawkeye was doing his usual obnoxious flirting routine and Margaret didn’t have the time or the energy for it. She rounded on him and said something like, “Respect. I’ve earned it. That’s all I ask for. Simple respect.” Hawkeye responded that he had no comeback to that, and perhaps she should use it on Mrs. Penobscott.
The point here is that this moron doesn’t have to like you, but he *does* have to treat you with respect. When he acts obnoxious (the hand waving thing – ugh), look him in the eye and say something like, “I will not be treated in that manner. You treat me with respect, or don’t come around me.” And continue on with whatever you were saying. It’s amazing how being brief, direct, and non-confrontational (don’t be bitchy about it, just be frank) will catch someone like that off-guard. And put you back in charge.
And then, in private, ask you husband why he didn’t do that for you… because it’s HIS friend, and it could be argued that it is HIS place to do it.
Holy Crap!!!! I walk away from the computer for half an hour and look what happens!!!! I thought I was misreading when it said 18 comments!!! Jason made a comment!!!! HALLALUHA!!!!
We have to remember the post I wrote yesterday about the “kind” little boy that we thought was so cute. He’s still the same little boy inside. He won’t want to hurt Brent’s feelings and I knew that when I was getting this post ready to publish. Jason can be rude and up front about certain things but usually when it comes to things like this, he can ignore it and he knows it will pass. It’s just not passing soon enough for Nikki.
I’ve known this person (kid) his whole life. I also know he’s having a lot of problems and like mssc54 said, think how he feels at his age to have to move back home? It’s no wonder he’s latched on to you. He’s jealous of what you have. I’m not using that as an excuse, just an observation.
I’ve also known people like this. One person is one of Toby’s friends who “adopted” Paul and I a few years ago. If Toby was busy, this KID came to hang with us and it was driving us nuts. We got to the point that we’d have our coats ready to go and if he pulled in the driveway, we were pretending we were on our way out. At the time it drove us nuts but it didn’t last very long. We didn’t want to hurt his feelings and I’m the same way Jason is as Paul is also. Which is probably why both my boys are this way.
But the hand gestures and “stop fighting” comments do have to stop. I agree with the above commenters who said, “your being rude, it’s my house, knock it off” and continue with what you were doing. You can say it, let it go and if it doesn’t stop then hit him over the head with a big log.