The Perfect Job

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, ’Hi, you know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.’
The social worker behind the counter said, ‘Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.The salary is $200,000 a year.
The guy, wide-eyed, said, ‘You’re bullshittin’ me!’
The social worker said, ‘Yeah, well . . . . you started it.




This entry was posted in adults, cars, choices, fun, funny, jobs, laughter, work, working and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to The Perfect Job

  1. SKL says:

    You’re bad! But you’re right!

  2. SanityFound says:

    ROFLMAO Dang you almost got me with coffee in my mouth!!! tff!

  3. nikki says:

    LMAO!!! That is so true!! Good one Joy!!

  4. Joy says:

    I thought it was hilarious. I got this one from Nancy.

  5. Some people are humiliated to be on welfare and would honestly rather be able to pay their expenses themselves. I know it’s hard (and funny) for someone to believe who’s never been in that situation, but people like this do exist, and generally don’t find the lazy welfare loser jokes very humorous.

  6. Joy says:

    I’m very sorry if I offended you in any way Elena. I sure didn’t mean to.

  7. Jane says:

    Joy, please don’t feel bad. I think most of us know you wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings on purpose. Someone is alway on the losing end of a joke. We laugh at all kinds of different things. We make fun of men and women. We make fun of people of different nationalities. We tease other’s football teams. It also doesn’t mean we take the jokes we laugh at seriously. Comedians pick people apart all the time. While you may offend some now and then, please don’t lose your sense of humor. I would never tease anyone about being on welfare but I did laugh at this joke. It was a joke and not a person.

  8. Didn’t mean to poop on the party. I was remembering your article about honesty in comments, and my first instinct was to just quietly click away to another blog, but then I thought that maybe some of your other readers might feel as I do, so maybe I would be the obnoxious one and say something.

    Maybe all the election stuff is making me hyper-sensitive. Sometimes I think if I hear one more person talk about women having babies only to receive a mythically huge welfare check, while those same people have no problem at all with unthinkable amounts of corporate welfare, I’m gonna freak out.

    Didn’t mean to do it here.

  9. Amber says:

    ROFL I loved this joke! This was too funny!

    Elena – I think you really did take this to a level it didn’t need it to be. Maybe you should consider the content of the blog and who is writing it before you get upset. Cause Joy’s blog is really only done in the best way. She is all about love and family and being hard working and giving to everyone. She is never judgmental. It is your interpretation of the joke that made it so. Anyway… Its hard in the cyberworld. Tone, and facial features arent present so you can’t see how someone is actually saying the words.

  10. Joy says:

    Thanks Jane and Amber. Elena, I never for one second would hurt anyone’s feelings on purpose. In hindsight, I still would have published this joke. I never thought of it the way you did. It just seemed funny to me. Out of all the people I’d hate to hurt, your so sensitive and loving and thinking I hurt your feelings really bothered me but I kept thinking “I didn’t mean it like that” so I knew I’d have done it again. I’m very naive at times but it feels good to laugh and this did make me laugh. If I hurt you, I’m really very sorry.

    By the way, I do want honesty. It makes me think of things in other ways and that’s always a good thing.

  11. SKL says:

    I would just add that while it’s very true that some people are humiliated by being on welfare, there are others who aren’t . . . and some of those who aren’t, should be. I know a few personally who are capable of working but instead plan their life around how to maximize the welfare checks. They don’t feel one bit bad about it. So I feel this joke is aimed at releasing frustration over people like that.

    There are lots of jokes about financially comfortable people who are assumed to be spoiled, selfish, self-centered jerks. That’s no more fair than welfare jokes, yet few people would feel reluctant to post them. Personally I have worked extremely hard and sacrificed a lot throughout my life, and I am the butt of many jokes and wrong assumptions due to the fruits of my labor. The most hurtful assumption is that I could care less about my fellow man, given that I spend more time volunteering than anyone else I know. Or that I don’t know what it’s like to struggle, given that I had a more humble childhood / early adulthood than most welfare recipients I know.

    That said, I agree with the poster who said that jokes are not meant to be serious, blanket statements about a whole group of people. As long as the people who know me / you understand where our heart is, the assumptions and slurs of others shouldn’t affect us.

  12. I know Joy would never purposely offend someone with something so trivial as a joke. I can certainly take a joke, but when it is followed with comments such as “You are right” and “That is so true,” then it seems to take it to another level.

    If I were at a party and someone made a blonde joke, I might snicker with the rest of them to be polite, but if someone then commented, “You’re right, blondes are really stupid!” I would feel compelled to make a serious objection. It would feel like the audience was not taking it as a joke but instead as a genuine commentary on the world. (Consider this a warning never to invite me to a party, I suppose.)

    Thank you to all who pointed out that I should not have felt the way I did, especially after I already admitted my mistake. Next time I will know to just click away quietly and try again the next day.

    I appreciate this blog and the friendly atmosphere that has been established here, and I won’t do anything else to disturb it. I again apologize to everyone for making Joy seem like a mean person. I have never met her but even I can tell that she has a heart of gold and in expressing my feelings I only meant to contribute my point of view in a respectful way. If I cannot do this without seeming to insult Joy, then I certainly won’t do it any more.

  13. SKL says:

    Elena, I don’t think you meant to hurt Joy in any way. I just don’t want you feeling like those of us who enjoy a silly joke actually hate or look down on everyone who receives welfare.

    Just for the record, I took off school to stand in the free cheese line several times when I was a kid. Of course I don’t look down on everyone who receives government assistance. But on abusers? Yes, because it takes money away from people who really need it.


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