Question of the day

If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly and honestly tell you what they really thought of you, would you want them to?

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13 Responses to Question of the day

  1. SKL says:

    Hmm, I think they already do.

  2. SanityFound says:

    Anything else would be fake and the friendship questionable, sorry but I have strong feelings on this. If you think I am wrong or that I am doing something wrong, if you think that I need to work on something or if you love me to bits and pieces and adore my new shade of hair colour I want to know. Strike that I NEED to know.

    Point blank, I need honesty.

  3. thegoddessanna says:

    Well, some of my friends don’t understand the fine line between being blunt and being rude. If it was about my hair or clothes, yeah, tell me. If it’s about my weight – well, I’m quite aware of that thankyouverymuch, I don’t need the lecture.

  4. SKL says:

    I have a really good friend and we tell each other “like it is.” But we have this third friend who always says everything looks nice even when it doesn’t. So then I come off looking like the negative person, she the positive one. I don’t care. I mean, my friend isn’t from the US and she’s going to a party where she cares a lot about fitting in. Am I going to let her go out with her business colleagues in something gaudy and ill-fitting? No, I don’t believe that serves any purpose. But our other friend seems to think it’s more important to have warm fuzzies on the way to the party than to feel accepted during and after the party. I guess it takes all kinds.

  5. Candi says:

    Yes, i would want then to, i tell my friends like it is. Always have always will, be honest, why hold anything back. If they accept you, they are a friend if they dont well then oh well, never meant to be. i think that I might be a little blunt, and people think it as being rude, or mean, but I will tell you if something is bothering me, or if you pissed me off, or what have you. Its not a bad thing, it is just they way I was rasised. Stick up for your self and tell ya like it is.

  6. nikki says:

    Sure why not, if they think badly of me then why are they my friends? I always think there is a nice way of saying the truth, how you really feel. Being too blunt can be off putting and unnecessary. I think it’s more of respect and just being classy about it by telling someone how you feel with out being too blunt.

  7. joanharvest says:

    In our family we already tell each other what we think. We tend to lay everything on the table. As far as friends go I think you have to look at each person and deal with them according to their personalities. I will be as honest as I can but I won’t be rude or ever say anything, if i can help it, that will hurt their feelings. Actually, I won’t be rude to my family but they know me so well I know I can tell them anything and I can take anything they tell me because I know it comes from the heart.

  8. Just a Mom says:

    I would love people to be totally honest. I told my husband it would have been nice if he would have told me I was gaining just a little bit of weight instead of sitting back and saying nothing and watching me gain 60 pounds! Sometimes you just need someone to say “Put down the Twinkie!” 🙂

  9. mssc54 says:

    I think it’s a requirement of a friend to help keep you in check.

    Acquaintences…. there’s a reason I don’t want them as a friend.

  10. Joy says:

    I’ve thought a lot about this. Most of you want honesty and for the most part, I do too but if someone doesn’t like my hair color or my new sweater, I don’t need to hear if they don’t like it. Maybe 20 years ago I would have but if I hadn’t liked it, I wouldn’t have gotten it. Also, with my basic personality, I’m not sure I could take the “truth or dare” of jr high. I feel I’m the way I am and if you don’t like it, lump it. Of course I didn’t feel this way when I was younger. If I ask, that’s different but if someone walked up to me and told me what I had on was ugly, I’m not sure I’d think to highly of that.

  11. SKL says:

    Just a Mom, what you said is so interesting, because it’s a topic we discuss a lot around here. My best friend is from a “familistic” country where everyone majorly tells it like it is. “Hi, nice to see you after so long – look how fat you got!” Of course that doesn’t go over so well around here! My sister is quite heavy and her view is, hello, I KNOW I’m fat, so your telling me so is just going to make me feel bad and go eat a pint of ice cream to feel better. That seems to be the usual sentiment around here. My friend says, having your family tell you you’re fat makes you more motivated to lose weight, because you know people care about you. You’d feel badly if nobody ever told you not to eat that extra donut.

    I can see both points of view. But, it makes me wonder – why are Americans so touchy about what our family tells us? Don’t we feel we are unconditionally loved? There’s plenty of love in my family, yet I remember the one and only time my dad mentioned my weight – he said I was getting “broad across the beam” and I was horrified. Maybe it motivated me to lay off the Doritos Grab Bags a little, but maybe not for the right reasons.

    I do try to be as dipomatic as I can be, but I will tell a friend what I’d want to be told. Never “you’re fat” because they know whether their jeans are tight or not. But, “hey, didn’t you want to exercise before eating today?” Or, “you might want to hang that jacket up until you’re able to button the buttons again.”

  12. K. Trainor says:

    I actually enjoy blunt friends. Two in particular come to mind who are so blunt they tend to offend people on occasion. I don’t mind them. I understand that their thoughts exit their mouthes before the brain has a chance to consider decorum and pretty them up. I also understand there is no deliberate cruelty in mind, just impulsive conversation.

    It’s relaxing to hang out with these ladies because I don’t believe they’d ever do or say anything awful behind my back. It’s not in their nature. I’m confident that any issues would be addressed directly to my face. I like that. 🙂

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