Too much Info for me!!

I was scrolling through the guide on TV last night and came across a show on MTV called Sex~ with Mom & Dad. I was a little weirded out by the title but equally curious. So I turned it on, and actually ended up watching the whole episode.

It really got me thinking. When do you start talking to your kids about sex? How open should you be? This episode was about a mother and daughter. I think the daughter was 18 or so. The daughter was very uncomfortable talking “sex” with her mom. Just saying the words in front of her, you could tell she wanted to no part of it. She didn’t want her mom knowing about her sex life and she DID NOT want to know anything about her moms.

Throughout the show they did different projects together to open the doors to conversation. They ended up finding things out about the other that I’m not sure I would have liked to know. I don’t want to know what my mom likes in bed!!!! She told her daughter she likes her hair gently pulled. I would die if my mother ever told me that!!! I have never had a very close relationship with my mom, we never had “the talk” ever. I wish we would have but that is neither here nor there.

I do know I will be open with my son and he will know he can always talk to me about it and feel comfortable coming to me. How open will I be with him? I’m not sure, but I don’t see myself telling him what I prefer and what I don’t. I will ALWAYS tell him the importance of keeping that sacred until marriage. I don’t know, I guess if it were all or nothing I would pick all over nothing. I think with conversation comes knowledge, awareness, confidence, and closeness. I just think some things are better left unknown. Parents first, friends second. Right? Or is this the new thing? Are parents telling their children everything in hopes to have them tell everything? I’m not sure I would want to know everything anyway.

What do you think? How would you feel if your parents told you what they liked in the sack!? For me there is a line that I personally won’t cross but I know it’s a personal choice.

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17 Responses to Too much Info for me!!

  1. holeycheese says:

    I sometimes wish my parents had been a little bit more open.. sex was just too much taboo. Even the word “sex” was taboo.. and everything that was related to it. I don’t say that I would actually want to know anything about my parents and what they do.. because I don’t.. Just less taboo in general.. more relaxed.

  2. Laura (LS) says:

    Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!!! Fingers in my ears, eyes screwed (!!) tightly shut!!! LALALALALA!!!

    Seriously, I do NOT want to know what my parents do when the door is closed. There’s a reason that the room has a door.

    My parents gave me the ‘basics’ – my mom gave me the girl stuff, and my dad taught me how to say “no” when the boys didn’t listen the first time.

    Other than that? I learned all I needed to know about their intimate details the two times I walked in on them. That was ENOUGH!!

    I’ll talk to Hot Rod when the time comes. I’ll tell him whatever he wants to know, and probably plenty he doesn’t. He’ll know that if he chooses to have sex that he has chosen to accept all the responsibility that goes with it. He will be encouraged to wait until he’s old enough to bear those responsibilities.

    But he does NOT need to know what I like. Not in a specific sense, anyway. But there are things that I may share with him from a woman’s perspective that he may otherwise not get.

  3. Sandesh says:

    There should be a hard line between the talk . we have to decide what is extend talking about sex with the childeren or vice versa !!!

  4. SKL says:

    Eew. I never got “the talk” but I got it in snippets. As we got older, our parents, grandparents, etc. got more relaxed about letting us hear jokes and such, and watch stuff on TV. A word here and there, one or two very brief Q&A sessions initiated by me, and I figured out all I needed to know. Which is basically that sex is supposed to be a gift from and to each partner. Like other gifts, the details depend on the individuals, and nobody else needs to know about it.

    To this day, there are things I don’t want to know about ANYONE, least of all my parents. Nor would I ever volunteer such information to anyone, including my daughters. Why do some people think it’s a problem to keep certain things private? Is privacy the new evil?

  5. nikki says:

    That’s my question SKL, what’s wrong with keeping the intimate, private details just that…PRIVATE!? I guess if it works for you and that’s how both you and your kids want to be so be it. It’s just not for me. I do think the word SEX is taboo in a lot of families & it shouldn’t be but we have a line we won’t cross. I’m interested to see what everyone else thinks.

  6. Just a Mom says:

    And this would be why I have blocked the MTV channel in my house!
    I am, surprisingly to myself, pretty open with my girls. They both know they can ask me anything and I will try to answer and they both know that they can tell me anything. But yes there is a line that is never to be crossed!

  7. nikki says:

    Yea MTV is certainly not what is used to be!!! What happened to the videos?? All it is now are reality shows and tasteless ones at that. I did watch it though…hey at least I got a post out of it!!!

  8. Joy says:

    I’m with Laura…Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!!! Fingers in my ears, eyes screwed (!!) tightly shut!!! LALALALALA!!!

    Seriously, I agree with SKL too. Private should be private. Talking to your kids about the facts of life and them knowing yours are completely two different issues in my mind.

    I was painfully honest with the boys but I answered the questions they asked in age appropriate ways. Once they got to a certain age, I think there were just some things they knew and some things you don’t want to talk to your parents about.

    But personal sexual preferences, naw…Lalalalala..

  9. candi says:

    NO way i do not want to know about details with my parents, Talking sex to your young children is differetn then teling the likes and dislikes. They do not need to know the private stuff that goes on they will figure that out way later. I had that talk wth my daughthers already, and my son well he is four, so we just talked a bit. I do not that you are not supposed to used the little cute saying for the private parts, I was taught in a class I took on sex. It teaches you that as a very young toddler age, you are suppose to use words like penis, instead of peepee, and vagina, instead of whatever. I have used words like that since my kids could talk. They do not need to feel ashamed about it when the word comes up. For example, say all they know is pp for a penis, then one day they are talkingabout when they are a little older then will feel uncomfortable in two ways, 1. Omg she said penis, and then they will feel like they should have known that word. Sex should not be kept a secret, but the details as adults should be. A open conversation is the way I use im my house, minus the details.

  10. Sue says:

    I did not get the talk. “That’s what school’s for” was my dad’s response when I got the courage to ask why I didn’t get a talk. Thanks dad. It’s not something I ever wanted to talk to my parents about anyway.

    I hope that I will be more open and up front with my kids than my parents were with me, but I do think there’s a line! All they need to know are the basics; correct terms, organs, what their functions are, and how a baby happens. The end!

  11. Jane says:

    Eeewwww…on knowing what my parents do behind the closed door!! Way to much info for me.

    I plan to talk as we go. We use the real names for things but I only answer basic things he asks. I never really got “the talk” either but managed to figure things out. Dylan does know a lot just from the farm animals so that part will be known but “having my hair gently pulled on” will NOT be part of any discussion I have with either of my children!!

  12. K. Trainor says:

    Likes and dislikes? Ewww-Ewww-Ewwwww! That’s private and should remain so with every couple. jmo.

    I’ve been honest with our girls about the mechanics and also the responsibilities. I’ve also tried to encourage them to feel free to ask me anything.

    However, they also know there are some things that are private. For example, the complaint, “You woke me up in the middle of the night–what were you DOING in there? Do you HAVE to act like that?” is met with the response, “I’m sorry we woke you, but your dad and I are married adults. What happens in our bedroom is none of your business.”

  13. slightlyignorant says:

    I have a strange situation. When I was a kid, my mom and dad got those books with the pretty soft looking pictures, and my mom explained about pregnancy and how it happens and all that.
    Then years past, and I could not even say the word “sex” around my parents without being embarressed. Even after I lost my virginity.
    But then suddenly, some invisible threshold was passed, and although I never discuss intimate details with my mom about her’s or my sex life, we can have our girly, catty fun about men and sexual issues. I’m comfortable with this level.

  14. Mimi says:

    Egads! My older kiddos knew about making babies by the time they hit elementary school. The formal, educated version with basically just the mechanics. I always told them that I’d talk to them and explain the best that I could except that they did not need and would not get information on all the heavy breathing! Likes and dislikes fall into that category with me.

    As my ODD got older the conversations got a little more interesting, but more about “things that you hear” not specifically personal choice. She’s definitely more comfortable having discussions than I ever was with my mother. (My mother the incest survivor who REALLY tried but just wasn’t equipped to have a casual conversation about sex with anyone, let alone me.)

    LOL, and I’m backtracking with my last DD! I’m not a single parent this time around and my hubby isn’t comfortable with the stuff that was pretty natural for me with the other two. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just different. She will get an education, it will just come differently and not as early as it did with the other two!

  15. Tessa says:

    I’m hoping Eric and I will be upfront and talk about sex with our kids. NoT about OUR sex life, but about sex in general. In my house, it was old fashioned and we just got the basic info talk Sue talks about doing. But, I am too this day embarrassed when it’s brought up in my family! So, it’s important for sex-and alcohol- not to be taboo and such secret topics.

  16. Tessa says:

    Kids are having sex way early these days, so i think kids should know about it before middle school starts.

  17. Tessa says:

    Nikki, it is true parents are being more friends with their kids these days and it is why we have so many behavioral problems with kids.

    Like my mom says, parents should be parents, they are not suppose to your friend. Kind yes, but friends-no! That confuses kids and then they question your athourity and get confused when you punish them…”But I thought you were my friend” and how would you like your kid to talk to you about THEIR sex life!! Talk about uncomfortable I can only imagine. I knew if I talked to my mom about what I was doing in high school she would locked me up!

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