Okay. So I have this HUGE little thing that I’m a bit irked about. I’ve been pregnant 4 times. 2 of those times they thought there might be a problem of some kind or the other with the baby. Which meant I needed to get an ultrasound done.
Well, I live in Canada (home of the “free health care!!”) and I got put on a waiting list of 5-6 weeks. So I have done this and I will tell you, the nerves can’t handle it very well.
Well today I hear from an acquaintance at work telling me that she just wanted to find out the sex of her baby so she told her doctor she was cramping up just to get in for one. JUST TO FIND OUT THE SEX!!! She does NOT have any problems!!
So, I’m really pissed off. I don’t say that very often either. Because being an expectant mom who needed one of these ultrasounds to find out if there was a problem or not and I get put on a waiting list and now I hear this person lying about it for finding out the sex of her child?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Which leads me to wonder how many other people do stupid things like this and people like me just sit and worry and wait my turn? I was so mad that I had to walk away from this person.
What are your thoughts on this? Am I the only one who’s truly pissed off????
Us Girls..Our Views 
Well, as it is a risk to the baby… well duh! But these days its all about being selfish. Look at Tom Cruise. He bought a machine so he could look all of the time. Didn’t matter about the health of the baby now did it?
What an idiot.
What can you say? You probably should have 1 ultra sound during your pregnancy to make sure everything is ok. But to determine sex??? Ridiculous!
That is just awful. Do you think this person would have paid to have an elective ultrasound if that were an option? I think I might have said something to her about the trouble she is causing others.
I hear that elective ultrasounds are not such a good idea. So I wonder if we will see a change in the trend of wanting to know the baby’s sex before birth. (Is that not common in Canada?)
This is a lot related to where you live and what the routins are. I know from Sweden and Israel that it is a lot different in different places. Sounds like you don’t do many ultrasounds over there??
Well.. to me it’s hard to even relate to the problem, since here in Israel – in a normal pregnancy you do at least 3 ultrasounds – beginning, middle and two months before the due date. Even 3D-ultrasound is included in the general health insurance, so you get to do that automaticly for free.
If you pass the duedate with more then three days you’ll have another US every other day until the baby is born. So nobody would try to have an extra US only to know the sex of the baby.. because you already have so many when you can just ask the doctor and then you know.
Myself I never managed to have “only” three ultrasounds.. I’ve had between 5 and 7 in each of my three pregnancies, due to different problems. (And I do agree it’s a bit too much)
Also almost everybody here wants to know the sex of the baby.. and usually gets to know that in the middle of the pregnancy. That’s a part of the routine in the big screening.
We have always known the sex of our babies already during the pregnancy. Nothing wrong with that. Hey – it’s still a brand new person – a new personality that you don’t know – even if you know the sex. It’s still a big surprise who is coming out you know.. If we would have another kid we would also want to know. I don’t regret that we decided on knowing.. I never did. It would have been worse to NOT know – since everybody knows here.
I know in Sweden it’s a lot different.. there the doctors are usually not allowed to say even if they know. And also you have way less ultrasounds there.
Though to make US to find out the sex of the baby at an early stage of the pregnancy – if it’s a part of considering abortion – then it’s wrong!! The doctors shouldn’t be allowed to say before 20 weeks. Also of course it’s wrong to try to sneek in before those who need it because of health reasons. But people who are ready to pay for it at a private clinic.. why not? Or if you can get the information from an ultrasound you’re anyway doing. What’s the big deal then..?
With my twins, I had an ultrasound every month, just to check in on them, up until I was put on hospital bedrest, where I had them every few days or so. I knew they were boys for months, and it wasn’t like the boys were trying to hide anything.
With my daughter, I had two ultrasounds, and I only had the second one because I had an unusual pregnancy (I didn’t find out until I was about 5 months along, because I had no symptoms and was still having my period). The technician asked me if I wanted to find out, but this was at the end of the session.
Both pregnancies took place at Bethesda, a military hospital. I often compare the military health system to a quasi-socialist scheme, because wait times and standards of care are very similiar. Most normal pregnancies only get one ultrasound… but they do try and take a few moments to determine the gender and take some pictures for you to take home. I didn’t really need the second ultrasound with Sophie, but my doctor wanted it, and even joked that we might have another chance to see if I had a boy or girl.
At least in this case, the doctors are listening to the patients, even if the patients are being untruthful. I had to beg my doctor (who was filling in for my midwife) to check my cervix like the midwife had recommended, and if she hadn’t, I would have had my boys 9 weeks early in hospital ill-equipped to handle them, as opposed to having them 3 weeks later in Bethesda with its well-equipped NICU (I lived 52 miles from the military hospital, but if it’s good enough for the President, it’s good enough for me!)
I would be pissed off too! That is ridiculous!
I had only one ultrasound for each of my kids. I was considered strange by most of my friends and family because both times I did not want to know the sex of the baby. I wanted to know if they were healthy and that was it.
I agree that this is awful. To lie to get in right away. It makes me feel bad. Nice guys finish last kind of thing. You follow life’s rules and get punished for it.
Don’t get me started on your health care again Lisa!!
Ultrasounds are so foreign to me. I gave birth in 76 and 80 and never had a single one. Back then you only had one if something was really wrong. Nobody knew the sex of the baby then. I say I wouldn’t have wanted to know but deep down, I think I would. We knew what all 3 grandchildren were going to be and it was really fun knowing that.
I can imagine how mad you were at this person after what you went through.
It sure makes a person want to turn to the dark side and start making stuff up just to get your way, doesn’t it? It’s like Joy says, Nice guys finish last, and it gets to the point where, what is my incentive to be a nice guy and try to play fair?
You can pay to find out SKL but the wait is long if not longer than the “free” ones. It’s up to the doctor to tell you the sex. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to. The doctor I had with my 3rd daughter wouldn’t tell me. He thought I’d be upset if I knew I was having another girl, which I wouldn’t have been. Health was the only thing I was concerned about.
I remember Audra’s doctor with Tyler wouldn’t tell her his sex either for the same reason. He thought she’d be upset with another boy.
I don’t feel that’s right either. I feel if you want to know, you should be told. It’s your baby and if you want to know and they know, that should be your right.
Oh good grief! What is WRONG with people??
If the doctor doesn’t want you to know he doesn’t have to tell you???? That would piss me off. And so does this women who is lying to get an ultrasound. I had to have a level 2 when I was pregnant with Bailey b/c of a stupid test I took for birth defects. As if it would have mattered anyway. Thank God he was just fine. I have a friend who has had 9 pregnancies now with only 2 babies to show for it. She HAS to have one every month. We have a mutual friend who was on her 1st baby, everything fine and she was upset that she couldn’t get one every month just b/c. I think it is ridicules.
It’s a pain in the tuckus to get an ultrasound once a month. I hated it, the twins hated it (they fought and pushed and kicked), but it did allow me to come to terms with having two babies in there – nice visual evidence!
I guess I didn’t really say it, but I’d be mad if someone lied too. I don’t get why the doctor wouldn’t let you know – if the doctor was that aloof, I’d want a new doctor. Most ultrasound techs are pretty nice, though. But I don’t know how they do it outside the US.
That’s ridiculous that she lied, but there’s someone taking advantage of the system everywhere. Having to wait for an ultrasound b/c you actually need one is agony, and I’m glad for me it was only a 2 week wait. I can’t imagine a 5-6 week wait. I don’t think universal health care is all it’s cracked up to be.
I agree with Sue. There are always those kind of people who think they can do what they want and apparently in this case, this person did. It is ridiculous.
I know people who’s doctors wouldn’t tell them the sex from Canada. It’s up to the doctor and you can’t just “go get a new one” in Canada. If they feel it will “alter your love for the baby” they won’t tell you. I’ve seen this many times.
It’s nice finally to have someone from this kind of health care system stand up and tell people who don’t know what it’s really like, what’s it really like. A lot of Canadians don’t/won’t rock the boat. They just take it and I never have been able to understand it.