It seems as if I have a shirt on my back that says, “involve me in your drama!” Or maybe I have SUCKER written on my forehead. I try so hard to keep to myself. I do not allow “drama” into my house. I hear people talk about their dramatic lives and think to myself…they must like it. Or why would they allow it? Everyone has a choice in most all aspects of their life. Having a healthy relationship with everyone in my life is important to me. I’ve had hard times with some, and some I have never had a problem with.
One friend in particular has been my friend for 5 years. She is the girlfriend of a friend we’ve know for about 10 years. They do not have a healthy relationship to say the least. However, when she vents to me, I sometimes agree with the things she says but most the time I just listen. When he vents I do the same. I never say, “well you shouldn’t be doing this or you should be doing that.” I lend some advice IF asked, but never really tell them EXACTLY how I feel. They don’t ask, I don’t tell. They fight often, about stupid stuff too. Like calling a knife a bread knife and she swears it’s not a bread knife. Oh yea, she blew up…the NEXT day!!!
Let me start from the beginning of this little fiasco. Sunday I get a call from her, saying god only knows what because she was so upset that I could not understand a word she was saying. He gets on the phone and asks me this, “Are all of you over there afraid of me and think I’m a piece of shit?” My response is,”ummm, NO” So, he goes on to ask if we are forcing her to stay with him. Again my response is…NO! I’m not sure why she is saying these things. She is obviously upset at something other than a knife. I say to him, “I think you both do this shit.” You both fight about stupid, petty things. You both have to walk on egg shells around each other, one wrong word will set it off. He agrees and says out loud that he agreed with me that they BOTH are in the wrong. I hear her in the back ground call me a stupid b**tch. He had to have known I heard that because he quickly hung up the phone. I was shocked and speechless. In the 5 years they have been together, we have been friends, without the slightest disagreement. Out of ALL my friends and even my family she was the last person I thought would ever say something like that to me or about me.
It’s almost 4 days later and still no apology. Jason thinks I should call her, but I don’t think I should have to. I didn’t call them and invite myself into their mess of a relationship. I always stay out of it, never picking one side over the other. So why do they feel it necessary to get me involved every time they fight?
He’ll call me and ask me if I think she’s cheating on him. I mean this has been going on for years. I love them both and they should not be together but I have never said this to them. It is the most unhealthy relationship I have ever witnessed. So since they keep doing this to me, I’m starting to get to the point where I may just put it all out on the table. But why should I?? It’s not my drama, not my problem!!! But I’m getting sick of playing devils advocate, and then being called a stupid b**ch.
I’m at my wits end with these two and I have no idea how to handle this one. When I do hear from her, do I just blow it off, because what she said was out of anger? Do I say exactly what’s on my mind, even if she doesn’t ask for it?? What do I do???