Before reading this, take yourself back to the 3rd grade. Remember how innocent love was and girlfriends and boyfriends came and went with out any love lost. I know some parents don’t allow their children to have “girlfriends/boyfriends” when they are young. It was never a subject brought up in my house. It was never said that I could or could not. So to me now as a parent of an 8 year old boy, it’s no big deal to me however we do talk about it.
What did it mean to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in the 3rd grade? My answer is fairly close to my sons. So you don’t look like a looser! Come on admit it, even though they might have been cute and they were nice when it came down to it, everyone else had one so you should too! The title of boyfriend/girlfriend was pretty much just that, a title. They may hold hands and chase each other on the playground but that’s about all that happens.
My son had a girlfriend for almost 2 1/2 years, Emily, he adored her. He wasn’t like all the other boys that had a new girlfriend every week. Emily was sweet and if you know Bailey, they don’t come much sweeter than him. They were perfect for each other in his words. He was sure to marry her someday. She just recently broke up with him, she didn’t tell him why and he didn’t ask. He said he didn’t want to know why. His heart was broke and the why wasn’t important.
Just like I told Bailey he would, he got over her. He had a sleep over with his best friend a couple weekends ago. I heard them talking about this girl named Kiara. So I chimed in and asked, “who’s Kiara???” Apparently she’s liked by all the boys. Right now she’s “going out” with Johny. Bailey and Johny are friends and Johny knows Bailey likes her. So what does Johny say to Bailey? Not what you might think, he says to him what one day will become a #1 rule of friends that you make and vow to never break. He says to him, “write her a note asking her if she likes you, and if she does then I will break up with her so you can ask her out.” My first reaction was, “YOU DON’T DO THAT!!!”
I have to say after that conversation I felt a little refreshed by the whole thing. As we get older we develop more intense feelings, we develop jealousy and greed, resentment and a love that is more deep than we even thought possible. What Johny said to Bailey will one day become a rule you just don’t break, a vow that one makes with a friend that if broken the friendship too is broken. I’ve gone through it, I lost a best friend in Junior High over a boy. The innocence of a bunch of 8 year old kids is priceless and I hope someday when they are my age they look back and remember how that felt, no expectations, no love lost. It makes the petty little arguments seem so useless.
Do you remember how that felt, your first young love? Were you allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did you allow your children if you have any to have had or have now a girlfriend or boyfriend? I think it may be different with girls. Dad’s and their daughters are different I think. Still I think it’s all innocent and I’m soaking it all up, soon Bailey will grow up and develop those feelings and things get so much more complicated!!