Telling others what to do

I feel most of us know people who are like this.  Bossy and always telling other people what to do.  I always wonder why people think they have a right to tell anyone else what or how to do something.  Unless asked of course.

In some normal conversations when you are talking to someone, venting maybe, you aren’t always asking for advice, you are just talking.  What makes that other person feel they have to “fix” it for you?  Offering suggestions when you didn’t ask.  Or if you are doing something, why would someone point out to you that you are doing it wrong?  What makes certain people feel like they can tell you “how much soap to put in your dishwasher?”  My mother told me one day “I wouldn’t use that much soap” and it made me feel like I was 10 years old and I just dumped a bunch more in!  I’ll show you I thought.  I’m 50 years old and I’ll put as much soap in MY dishwasher as I want.  Thank you very much!!!

Or if someone is having a problem and I’m talking to someone about it and they say “it’s all thier own fault”, they should do X, Y and Z.  No talking things over, just being judgmental and overbearing and yes, bossy!

I have told my kids what to do in their lives but only when they lived with me.  Since they have both been living on their own, unless they ask me for advice or my opinion, I keep my smart alack comments to myself.  It’s none of my business what they chose to do.  Jason called me one day a few years ago and said to me “guess what I got” and I had no idea, he said “it’s something I could never had gotten if I lived in your house” and I thought “oh dear lord no, a motorcycle!!!” But I never said that.  I said “oh, I’m so happy for you.”  I didn’t want to rain on his parade.  Why would anyone?  Just because I HATE motorcycles, that is not my choice.

So, are you a teller of everyone what to do????

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8 Responses to Telling others what to do

  1. Ah, I know those people >.<. I think parents have a right to tell their kids what to do when they’re still their legal guardians – I mean, that’s part of what parenting is, allowing and not allowing your kids to do something.
    But good for you for letting your kids make their own adult choices once they were out of the house!

    I’m one of the advice-givers. I tend to be the confidante of a lot of people, and I give advice when asked, but I do not, DO NOT EVER try to tell people what they should do unless they’ve specifically asked me. I hate when others do that to me, assuming they know everything about the situation when they don’t. So I try as hard as possible not to do it to others!

  2. Elena says:

    That’s cute about the soap! Seems like as adults we’ve earned the right to make our own decisions, however crazy, and make our lives our own. I hope I can do this with my kids when they are grown. My mother has been a good example of butt-outed-ness so at least they have a fighting chance.

  3. javajunkee says:

    uuh guilty! But my kid just picked up a birthday book and personalities and crap that go with when you are born..I’m gonna be typing that up later. I’m destined to be a “do as I say not as I do” kind of person..says so in the book and the book wouldn’t lie 🙂

    so what if we are living with/working with people who can’t think for crap on their own? Somebody has to tell them what to do or they’d either hurt themselves or they’d be getting hurt.

    so like are we talking just about advice cuz that I tend to stay away from unless I’m the expert on the subject…if it’s just about instruction wise then yes I give orders..I mean suggestions! 🙂

  4. Tessa says:

    I love to tell people what to do, that’s why I’m going to school to be a therapist or teacher! LOL But it’s out of love.

  5. Jane says:

    Ahhhhhh….I hate it when people tell me what to do. Sorry Tessa, even out of love, it’s nobody’s business to tell me what to do. I’m an adult and can choose what I want to do. When will you graduate Tessa? What courses are you taking that can be applied to a teacher and a therapist?

  6. nikki says:

    I agree Jane…it’s no one’s business. Unless they ask that is. I think when someone is constantly telling someone else what to do it can make that person feel inadequate and get down on themselves. Most humans are perfectly capable of making their own decisions. Especially when it comes to your spouse….this drives me nuts!!! I have a girlfriend who is like this with her husband and I can see how it makes him feel. He has to do everything when it comes to the baby and now they have 2 so it’s only going to get worse. It’s not fair in any way.

  7. indignant2 says:

    it’s funny how other people always think they know best. i’m sure tessa means well but should she be training to tell, or advise, people what to do? hmmm…

  8. Joy says:

    I totally agree with you indignant2. Thanks for stopping by.

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