Seperate Email address’s

 

Do you share an email address with your significant other?  When I first got the Internet my girlfriend asked me for my address.  When I told her Paul and I were just using the same one, she seemed disappointed.  I told her he wouldn’t ever use it anyway so what difference would it make?  I had no secrets to keep so I didn’t feel like I needed my own.

What I failed to realize was when she wanted to write to me, she didn’t necessarily want my husband reading what she wrote.  She told me she wanted to write to “me.”  She asked me if he would open mail delivered to my house that was addressed to me and I said of course not.  She then said, “right, so why don’t you just get your own email?”  It would be the same thing.

Once she put it like that, I did agree that mail written to me, was personal.  It wasn’t that I had anything to keep from my husband but I was not giving my friends or family a way to write to me that was private just for me.  If my friend is ticked at her husband and needs to vent to me, she doesn’t need or want my husband reading it.  If she’s having a problem, she doesn’t need the whole world or all her friends husbands knowing and reading about it.  I guess the same goes to anyone that just needs to vent, they want to do it to the person they are writing to and not that persons spouse also.

I do know a few people who are always “watched” by their spouse and have had to “sneak” a separate email that their spouse doesn’t even know about just because it caused problems.  Personally, I find that’s a problem in itself.  But, that’s just my opinion.  So, I do have my own email address but it’s not private by any means.  My husband I guess, just doesn’t care about my little personal drama’s and if someone writes to us both, I print it out for him.  We use my email address for everything, he just doesn’t write to anyone so it’s easier for me to keep track of things.  I’ll go one step further and bet he doesn’t even know what his email address is or how to get to or check mine.

 So I’m wondering if everyone has their own email address and why.

This entry was posted in choices, computers, differences, email, feelings, friends, husbands, privacy, relationships, spouse, things, thoughts, wives and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Seperate Email address’s

  1. Gary says:

    My wife and I each have our own email address. Certainly not because we have ANYTHING to hide from one another!!

    We both receive a lot of emails from day to day and it would really be a pain in the “you know what” to have to weed through all the emails picking out which one is for which person when it’s not necessary.

    We also believe that although we are married to one another, it’s ok to keep some individuality at the same time. Nothing big, just little small things like seperate email addresses. 😀

  2. SKL says:

    I’m not married. But, considering I do most of my complaining to my friends in e-mail format, I can’t imagine sharing an email address. It’s not that I have “something to hide,” more “something to vent.” For me, writing “privately” helps me to sort out my thoughts, and thus to relate and communicate better. So I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but it would be if the “ventee” started reading everything I wrote.

  3. San says:

    Good question, Don’t know, this has never been a question for me in a strange way, perhaps because I started on the internet when I was a kid (well 18 anyways I’m ancient nows).

    I think no matter who I am with I’ll always have a separate email address but for me its more of a “having your own space” thing.

  4. Doraz says:

    We use the joint address we first set up for our business.
    I have a personal one for all the crazy stuff I do!
    It works out fine.
    My husband has no interest in blogging!!!! *(* His loss!!!!!LOL

  5. holeycheese says:

    We have separate e-mail addresses.. it’s just easier that way.. It would become so full if we shared.. and we both have different subscriptions and notifications from internet communities etc. so it would just be messed up.

    Though we do check eachothers’ email.. We even had them downloaded to the same email program – only to different folders. But now that we have one computer each we do it less.

    In case I have secrets in the email.. like for his upcoming birthday I just ask him to not check my email until after his birthday..

  6. I think it’s definitely a good idea for you to have opened your own email address, Joy. Just as you say, if anyone wants to write something personal to you, now they can. And hey, if YOU ever get angry or annoyed with your husband about something – which happens in the best of couple – you’re also entitled to have a place where you can privately write to someone about it if you want to.

  7. fibi says:

    Always had seperate addresses..

  8. pammy says:

    I have always had my own.Like you said,some friends as well as i vent.I wouldnt write anything to personel if I didnt want anyone to see it.For very personal venting,then its face to face.I am a very open person,but some things I need for me.I dont do or hide things,i just need my space in some things.

  9. Sue says:

    I have my own. I don’t even think my husband’s works anymore it’s been so long since he’s checked it!

  10. javajunkee says:

    I have my own..not because I’m hiding anything but because we have 2 totally different friend lists. So it would be strange to share an email.

  11. G-Ma says:

    We have an address that is for home business, I have a personal one, and I have one for G-Ma’s. Okay, and one more for me at my job. ha ha I have a friend who I have known for probably over 35 years, and sometimes we share thoughts that are private, and we just vent. My husband could care less about emails coming and going. Is hardly ever on the computer. Heck, he doesn’t even know how much money he owes. I think in some marriages there seems to be one who uses the computer more than others. Not all though. And people are married–not clones. Everyone, no matter how close their marriage, needs some degree of privacy.

  12. tessa says:

    Sometimes a family member or friend wants to have a private conversation with you! It is just like on the phone. Do you want your friends husband on the phone with you? Neither do you want him reading a private email if it is certain info.

  13. Just a Mom says:

    We have seperate e-mails. I use my e-mail for all of the kids stuff, school, church and for my friends and family. He uses his for his business and his friends and family. We even e-mail each other stuff all the time.
    I check his e-mail only when he asks me to. I honestly don’t know if he knows my password or not.

  14. nikki says:

    Jason and I have separate emails but we know each others pass words. We have no secrets…I think that is on the top 3 of a must for a marriage to work. TRUST…..even the little things. Jason and I have always been honest with each other maybe to a fault! He hides nothing from me because he knows when ( and I say when because I WILL) find out it would be much worse!

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