Just One Of The Guys!

bowling-alleyIf you’re new to this blog you will come to find that softball is a BIG part of our lives. Jason has played with the same guys going on 4 years now. As of the end of April, it will have taken over our lives completely pretty much! They also all bowl together on Mondays, as a way to stay in touch over the winter. Now they have always treated me as “one of the guys.” Maybe most girls don’t like that but I’m not most girls. That crude sick behavior…I think it’s funny. I don’t join in and talk like them but I sure LMAO at them and in no way am I insulted by anything these guys say! Shocked and stunned sometimes but never insulted.

So last night we were all sitting around the table joking and laughing at, well I’m not sure I can really go into that but let’s just say most women would have been disgusted! I find great humor in it and play along. They have never filtered anything in front me. I know this because I have asked Jason if they are worse when I’m not around (if that were even possible) no they are just as crude and disgusting!!

As we are all sitting there I can’t help but notice I am the only women in the place. No joke, there were a few in the bar area but I was the only one over with the men during bowling. It got me thinking, “Why am I always the only woman here?” “Do most men not want their wives to come along?” “Do most women not find it fun to come or spend time with these guys?” So I asked the guys those very questions. The answers were all very funny but none of them really answered the questions. I asked them too, “in all honesty would you rather me not come?” They all looked at me like I was crazy!

Seeing as we have a lot of women that come to this blog and now a few men, I was wanting your opinion. For the women…you walk into a sports complex full of men and one women, what do you think? Same for the men, what would you think? As a women, do you enjoy the company of men or do you prefer to be around women. I know it’s different company and sometimes I do prefer to be with my girlfriends but my guy friends top the cake. They make me laugh and don’t judge me or expect me to be proper. They all genuinely care about me and I know would be there for me in a heart beat no questions asked. Not too sure I could say that about all my girlfriends.

I really don’t mind being “one of the guys” in fact I prefer that. They all know that when I walk into “their domain” it’s all the same, no filter, no hurt feelings, no telling them they can’t talk like that about women and sex in general. I know at the end of the day they all respect women and surly love their girlfriends or wives, if they have one. It’s all in fun and it’s their time to just be men! I know some women can be quite judgmental and see me with all these men and think the worst. That’s kinda what I’m wondering, not that I care what anyone thinks about me. But I am curious!!! Jason comes into play here to because he’s not like most men, he really does like me to come along. He’s my best friend and has a raunchy sense of humor too…maybe that’s where I got it!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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24 Responses to Just One Of The Guys!

  1. Joy says:

    Nikki, I know you so this is a hard thing to answer and explain. I feel that “how” you treat the women of these men is the key here. If for example you have secret “inside”jokes with them and have your little giggles and flirts with them when the women are around, then I think you could be causing a problem in their relationship. But if you are equally as friendly to their women when they are around and they feel like you are their friend, then it’s okay.

    Nobody likes to feel like a chump. If you are giggling with these guys and making their “woman-folk” feel bad, it’s just not nice and you know that. Nobody wants to see their husband or boyfriend being “one of the guys” with a really cute girl who is sharing inside jokes and innuendo’s with their men.

    I’ve known “girly men” who totally ignore all women around and only want to talk “head of cattle” and “if the tractor will start to how’s the crops coming” and they ignore all the women around. I’ve also known the “flirty” types who bat eyelashes and flirt and just make men feel good. Those women aren’t nice to the “mens women” either. I feel it’s how you treat the women here and not how the men feel about you.

    Jason may like you to be around and that’s good and if you fit in that’s good too but you have to stop and think why the women aren’t there. They might want to be but have to get the kids to bed and don’t have a sitter so they have to stay home. Some might not have a good relationship and they don’t want to be around each other or it’s ones “turn” to go out.

    For me only, if I have a bowling night with the girls, I want to be with “the girls” and if one of their husbands come, it dampens the fun of it because then it’s just not “us girls.” Just because I want to go out without Paul doesn’t mean I don’t want him to go out with me, it means I just like that little thing of my own. I don’t get out much so if I do do something with friends, I wouldn’t want their husbands around. I want to be with them. You know? I know you are innocent of sexual stuff but all these “friends” women may not know that. Especially if you have a”inside” stuff.

    • nikki says:

      They never talk directly about their other halves, and it’s not always derogatory either. I have never heard any of them speak of any of their names..it’s all in general and mostly sexual jokes or just joking in general. Oh and I have only met 3 of these guys wives even then I don’t act in any inappropriate manner. I’m not like that, I would never ever ever make another women feel uncomfortable about the friendship I have with their husbands. And I also know that some can’t come for whatever reason, work or kids or what have you. I’m only curious because they’ve played for 4 years and I have seen their wives only a few times. That doesn’t take away from their relationship, I was just wondering what others thought.

      • Joy says:

        Nikki, I know your not like that but there are a lot who are and I just wanted to point that out. There are a lot of “she devils” out there ready to snap up any man they can. BUT, I know you didn’t mean that.

        I honestly tend to be “one of the guys” myself. I’m not sure if it’s because I had boys and can relate or what it is. I feel I have more in common with men just because of my interests. Most things women enjoy, I really don’t. But I love sports and just generally relate better to men.

        But there is nothing like laughing with my good friends.

        • nikki says:

          Yea I know that type!!!!!!! I understand that I just wanted to be clear I’m NOT like that!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ I always appreciate your views. You always see both sides…I LOVE that about you!

  2. SKL says:

    I enjoy being around guys, probably because I grew up with my 2 older brothers. But, I must say I don’t like crude jokes and language – not the extent they use it outside of mixed company, anyway. I’m also not that big into sports, so I wouldn’t gravitate to a gathering where sports is the focus.

    I am pretty used to being the only woman in a group of men in my professional life. Most of the time I don’t even notice it. I don’t think it makes any kind of impression on me if I see one woman with a bunch of men, because I am very comfortable being the “lone woman” myself. And as far as the subject matter goes, “to each her own.” I have female friends who are very into sports and would fit right in as well. If anything, being involved in sports throughout life makes a woman more grounded.

    • nikki says:

      I do understand most women don’t like the crude jokes…but really they are aren’t really putting them down. I should have explained that better. I guess it is hard to explain and I should have wrote down some of the things they do say…for examples. They are some gross jokes and they do say some things that shock me but not in the way that I would feel insulted as a women.

  3. nikki says:

    For one…we don’t have inside jokes. What is said is left there and I would never ever make any women feel like I had some “inside joke” with any of them. More than half are single. Chris?? He’s single and is funny as hell. Those are the kind of guys I’m talking about.
    I don’t have good luck with women, that’s the fact of the matter. I’m not against women obviously, I have great girlfriends, it’s different I guess. There are literally only maybe a small hand full of women I feel like I can be myself around. I JUST feel more comfortable with these guys. I don’t act sexual with them, that’s horrible. And I don’t put women down, we joke just as women joke about their men.

  4. Doraz says:

    I believe you should do what is right between you and your husband. It is no one else business. I have been married for 24 years, to the same guy. In my house, what I do…I do, what he does….he does…what we do as a couple…we do as a couple. What we do as a family, we do as a family. We do not mix it up, unless circumstances come up. I believe everyone needs to do what works for them! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Gary says:

    I have known a lot of women that are “just one of the guys” and I have always had a lot of fun with them. Seems to me that if you are good with being “one of the guys” and Jason is ok with you being “one of the guys” then that’s ALL that matters. Who cares what other people think really because people are judgemental no matter WHAT you do.

    If you enjoy being “one of the guys” and Jason doesn’t mind then GO FOR IT! Life is too short to worry about what others are thinking.

    That’s my 2 cents worth. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • nikki says:

      Thanks Gary!
      If anyone REALLY knows me I have had bad luck with some women friends. I do try to stay away from them. The one thing I get from these guys that I guess I am guilty of needing is acceptance, no matter what, I get that from them. They don’t care what I wear or how I act. I’m just me and that’s perfectly OK with them!
      I do have that with certain girls…my SIL and a few friends well really only 1 friend. I’m not taking away from what I have with them, I have had some of my best times with Sue!!! Huh Sue??? A 40 of Bud and Target?? Yea I totally threw up that night…all over!! LMAO!!!

      • Sue says:

        Yeah, I do remember that night b/c it was all over us in the front seat!!!! For a long time I had a hard time with “just being me” and I know you did too. What’s wrong with being yourself? ‘Member?? You’re great just the way you are and if that makes you fit better with the boys then so be it. As long as Jason likes you being there at bowling then I look at it as your time away together and every couple needs that.

  6. javajunkee says:

    oh I don’t do good in a group setting of women. I never have. I get a long good here with this group of freaky crazys but in my everyday life ..not so much.
    I’ve always had more guy friends.

    if I walked into a sports complex and saw that one woman and all those guys…. it would be my goal to get her ass out of there ..COMPETITION! ๐Ÿ˜‰ uh no..not happening!

  7. Just a Mom says:

    For the womenโ€ฆyou walk into a sports complex full of men and one women, what do you think? I think hmmm, it must be gay night? I sure hope she doesn’t think I’m her date! Just kidding! I hope nobody gets offended! ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have always hung out with the guys. In my opinion if your husband wants you there that is all that matters.

    • nikki says:

      LMAO….it is a MEN’S league so all men goes without saying! You can find the women over in the bar area. HEY wait a minute….maybe they’re on to something!!! LOL ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. tessa says:

    I agree with everybody. People will always judge. The only judgment that really matters is your own. Be proud of who you are and how you are! Life is too short to not be with people who make you laugh and you feel comfortable with.

  9. mssc54 says:

    Jason is very fortunate to have a wife that doesn’t mind but actually enjoys going with him to “guy things.” Conversely Nikki is just as fortunate that Jason enjoys her company so much that he is willing to “share her” with his friends.

    This is interesting because (since I had four sisters and three bio-daughters) I function pretty well in a group of women. Heck some times I even sit down to pee! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • nikki says:

      OMG…that is too funny!! Sitting down to pee!!!
      Seriously though…I think we are fortunate in this way too. We do genuinely enjoy each others company.

  10. starlaschat says:

    I agree with Gary and tessa. My husband once in a blue moon gets together for a guys night out, but I also like to be included I agree it’s fun to hang out and be one of the boy’s. Life too short ,do what you want, have fun and don’t worry about what others may think. Gary’s right people will judge you anyway. Ive just been learning that, to relax and be myself some will like me some will not that’s OK.

  11. candi says:

    I feel the same way, although bowling is not a option for me, due to the fact that i have five kids and no way.. But these are my buddies, and i talk to a few of them on a daily or even hourly bacis, right andy. I love and it and would not have it any other way. I have more guys friends then girls, I guess i just rather hang out with the guys, i have been that way for years. I have tried a few girl relationship, never really worked. Thats ok i got these boys, and i really cant wait til softball season starts. Love ya. Cant wait to see all you guys in your new pants, and cant wait for the season to start. GO boys…

  12. candi says:

    This is funny about the softball, i was just talking to my buddy jamie, and told him that i miss softball, and he said yea right, when we are into the month of July, you (candi) will be wishing it was over. I thought to my self, maybe. But nah… Cant wait to be in the crowd of just one of the guys. Nicole too bad we never really got to stay close. See ya soon.

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