This was on our local news the other night and I’ve thought about it before and commented on it on another blog quite some time ago. Do we play favorites with our children? Do we treat them fairly?
I will admit that my boys are as different as night and day. My oldest is the more serious one. He takes everything to heart and has thin skin, just like I do. My youngest seems to go with the flow and was clownish and acted silly and on impulse. My oldest didn’t get into trouble at all at school while my youngest…..that’s another story. I was once sitting at a conference for my oldest and I wondered deep inside if the teacher even knew who our son was. EVERYONE knew who our youngest son was.
I think for me, that my oldest Jason, is so much like me and that’s why we fought all the time. He knew everything there was to do to “piss me off” and hit all the right buttons. I remember one day that I got a call that Toby, my youngest, was getting kicked off the bus for a week. I was furious with him. Jason got home from school before Toby and could clearly see how mad I was. He kept trying to talk to me and I told him I was very upset and to just go watch TV or go do something. He took it upon himself to defend his brother. I kept saying, Jason knock it off and let me think. Well, by the time Toby got home, I was more mad at Jason than I was at Toby. It’s just the way he was.
Given that said, I don’t feel I played favorites. I love them both as much as the other but there were times in my life that at one point or the other, one was so much easier to be around than the other. Jason liked to tick people off and Toby only wanted to make people laugh. Roles reversed at times and Jason was easier. I guess what I’m trying to say is that at times, you do treat your kids differently but I don’t think it makes you love them differently. It only means your human and you react to things differently. Jason was so much easier to deal with school wise. He didn’t cause any problems. Toby was just so clownish and impish and silly and really irritated his teachers.
So, what about you? Are your kids different and did it affect how you treated them at times?