I know that we all have tempers. I’m just confused as to the way we all handle them so differently. I’m a total *slow boiler* and it’s something that all my life, I’ve wished I could change. How do we just change the way we are?
Some people can just say right up front the way things are and the way they feel. Without any guilt or any worry over hurting someones feelings. That’s another thing, hurting someones feelings. Is it temperament, compassion or what is it??
I can probably say with utmost sincerity that if I was at a restuarant, I’d eat cold food. I might even eat the wrong thing if it were brought to me. I’ve seen people send back food time after time thinking, I’d never do that.
I am very slow to anger. But the down side to that is that once I’m mad, I’m really, REALLY mad and most times, I’m mad about 25,903,483 things and the thing that gets brought up first might be something like “you forgot to shut the door.” Every single thing I’ve ever been mad at that person for, gets brought up and then, I’m very hard to get over it. I hang on to it sometimes….well… forever if I’m going to be honest.
Then you have the people who just come right out and say what I’ve done, hurt them. Right now, clean cut, over and done with. So just what is it that makes each of us handle this differently? I have two boys and my oldest will tell you right to your face if he’s mad and most importantly, why. My mom is like this and so is my husband and his family. Now my youngest, he’s just like I am. The madder he is, the quieter he becomes. Just like my dad, my brother and I.
I don’t fight either very often. I’m just quiet. I feel that once something is said, it’s never forgotten and when you say things in anger they never go away and that person will always remember that. Another thing I hate about myself is that I expect people to read my mind. If I’m mad, they should damn well know why since I’m mad at them!! Total wrongness, I know that but how can I change? I’m more worried about hurting someone else’s feelings so I just keep things inside.
What about you? How do you get all fired up and how do you handle it??