Martha Stewart vs Maxine

martha-stewartmaxine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!
 
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
 
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
 
Go to the bakery! Hell, they’ll even decorate it for you!
 

If you accidentally over salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant ‘fix-me-up.’

If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too bad. Please recite with me the real woman’s motto: ‘I made it, you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes!’

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
 
Celery? Never heard of it!
 
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
 
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don’t.

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
 
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! ALL your pains go away!
 
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
 
Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
 
Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine???????????HELLO!!!!!!!

This entry was posted in fun, funny, humor, humorous, jokes, laughs, laughter, people, things, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Martha Stewart vs Maxine

  1. San says:

    ROFL some good tips but I found myself answering like Maxine! (no shock there)

  2. Just a Mom says:

    I am sooo a Maxine type person! My aunt told me a long time ago, “God created people like Martha Stewart so us real woman can have a good laugh every now and then!”

  3. Gary says:

    Us cooking males need a male version of Maxine!! LOL

  4. javajunkee says:

    Maxine rules in my book!

  5. nikki says:

    Great ideas from Martha but Maxine takes the cake for me!!!!

  6. mssc54 says:

    Can you imagine going to the icecream shop with a bag of mini marshmallows and asking the server to insert one in each of your cones and then offering some to other patrons? haha right.

  7. SKL says:

    I always wondered how I’d keep kids alive with my not-so-extensive cooking skills (ahem – mac & cheese, anyone?). Lo and behold, 1.5 years later they are still kicking . . . sorry Martha, I think you really rock, but I could never be you . . . .

  8. trishatruly says:

    I have been knownin the past to out-Martha Martha but the older I get the more Maxine I become!

    This was fun! Thanks, Sue!!!

  9. Great idea this. It is always difficult to thin of varied things to cook especially for a hungry family and some of the ideas here and elsewhere on your site have given me some great ideas so thak you!

  10. Jose Cordero says:

    Sorry Martha, I am like the rest, or at least the majority. Left over wine, brushing cakes, yuk. Maxine rules!!!

  11. jude says:

    some are good idea’s , but the left over wine? hey put a stick in it and have a popcycle, could use the lime on my overhang the next day,

  12. Bob says:

    Very helpful hints I wonder if Martha sent copies to all her friends in cell block 19?

  13. Kara says:

    I love cooking but sometimes we have to be Maxine.. What left over wine?????

  14. Maxine says:

    I am Maxine and I never listen to Martha because she gives advice that she does not follow because she does what I do every thing easy and simple!!

  15. Loretta says:

    Maxine is the greatest. Makes you realize just how simple life really is! Martha’s hints are great too, but who would ever put a potatoe in their salty things?

  16. Deexs2 says:

    I think I am a bit of both the ladies. Don’t know if I would actually try some of the things Martha suggests, but I am definitely down for everything Maxine discusses.

  17. Elayne E says:

    Love that Maxine!

  18. Sara says:

    Loretta,

    I tried putting a potato in the over salted food. It didn’t work for me.

  19. Deanna Melson says:

    Good advice. Go Maxine! You are the WOMAN!

  20. Debbie says:

    I have a real sister called Maxine , Martha she’s not she’s
    ,sometimes she’s not Maxine either hehehe

  21. Joyce Ward says:

    What do I need to do to open these in my mail box?

  22. Carlene says:

    Thanks to my friend Leslie I just found you guys. I would be happy to join in when I have some thing whitty to share !

  23. Darlene says:

    There are men out there that cook? I sure missed that boat!!

  24. Dr. Becky says:

    Of course there are men out there who cook. They would starve at my house if not for men who cook. My children told my fiance many years ago that they were glad he was marrying me, because I was such a bad cook. Okay, I have made lots of homemade dog food, and the dogs aren’t dead…well, those who are died of natural causes, not my cooking.

  25. Gloria says:

    Maxine all the way, who have time for all those silly things Martha does, remember that is all she does, we have to work to eat and NO, I do not freeze my wine. LOL

  26. wendy says:

    no comment

  27. Vivian says:

    Loved all your comments. Not a Martha Steward type person, never have left overs, don’t drink wine so no need to freeze. Maxine I am. Maxine rules.

  28. Brandy. says:

    They should sent Martha back to Prison, they like her there, no one does here?

    heh, heh,.

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