There was recently a story on the news about this but I’ll be darned if I can remember which channel I was watching at the time and I’ve tried finding it but like anything else, when you’re looking, it’s nowhere to be found but I remember the gist of the story enough.
It was about someone who said something totally inappropriate to someone and the person took offense so they gave the old “I was just kidding” remark.
Do you know people like this? I have a brother in law who used to do this to me all the time. We were pretty close and he really knew how to get my goat. I didn’t always react and a lot of time I’d let it go in one ear and out the other but there were times that he really hurt my feelings and the thing he was “kidding” about hit a little to close to home and I’d get mad and say something. The first words out of his mouth was “I was just kidding, lighten up Francis.” I didn’t always appreciate his humor.
The thing is, I don’t think he was always just joking around. I think he said that only “if” it hit me wrong and that he did mean it but had that pat answer down just in case someone did get mad. He said things like this to everyone and he would always say the same thing if anyone got mad at him.
Do you know people like this who use the old “I was only kidding” to get them out of hot water or to get the big foot out of their mouth?
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Yes! Eric does it ALL the time! I get offended and he says “just kidding or joking” and I say “it’s NOT funny!” If it is not funny to the person, it is not a joke! Both people need to be laughing, really people 🙂
Tessa your husband should be able to joke around with you! You know he’s not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings c’mon. “You should hear what we call each other” LOL! Watch Gran Tourino!!
Sometimes he is not joking though, Shane. That’s when I am talking about.
I can’t say I know anyone who does the “I’m just kidding thing” Most of the people that say things like that to me are people that I know are just joking. “Has anyone seen the movie Gran Tourino?” That’s how my good friends and family joke around with me, I just know there joking!!!
I’m not really talking about joking around Shane. I’m talking more about cheap shots or hitting below the belt and then seeing a reaction from someone and then saying “I’m just kidding.” Joking around is different to me. If both people are laughing, it’s joking. If someone feels bad, it’s not.
Yes I do no people like that.Close family and friends,I no they are just kidding around and I can sense there was no intention of hurt.But I no people who have done this to me,and in my gut,I knew it was underlining sarcasm.I can sense when its meant to hurt you or get a point across to you.Those ones are just mean spirited.I use to hate it when someone would do that in a group of people.Joking at my expense,no one catching the sarcasm,but me.That was cruel.I hate people who do that.
Yes, I know people that do this. And I agree Joy: they say that they were only kidding, because they know that they created a reaction, although I think that is often what they are seeking.
ANy words that a person ever states to me, are intended and true. We would not speak the words if they did not come from a source that is real to us. I have gotten better over the years about reacting less, and asking questions, and expressing my honest opinion more.
Yep, I know people like that. They do it once with me, then it does not happen again! I explain to them the damage has already been done! Don’t say something like that and expect open arms from me!!!! 😦
I always thought there were some sort of truth in a “just kidding” remark. I mean I love to joke around and I can generally handle a good joke, but some people take it too far. Or do it too much, which just makes it start to become annoying. A constant razzing gets old, but everyone should be able to take a joke once in a while. What’s life without some laughs, but when it becomes not funny anymore it’s time to chill out!
Lighten up Francis…I hear that around here too!
LOL!! Now you know where “lighten up Francis” comes from!!!
Have you ever heard the old saying “Alot of truth is said in jest?”
Something similar is when people (especially political figures) make an apology like, “To the extent that Veteran’s groups were offended by what I said, I apologise.”
You know, I can’t think of a single person I know that does that. I guess I should consider myself lucky.
I joke around a lot with my wife and friends and say “just kidding” but I know they ALL KNOW that I really am “just kidding”. I don’t take cheap shots or anything like that.
Know many that do this and sometimes it lessens the blow but never for long because it always leaves you wondering and less trusting
I get “just kidding” and my personal favorite, “huh… sorry” (in a flippant voice) ALL the time. And it grates on me.
So, in an effort to combat one of the two, I’m teaching Hot Rod that every single apology he issues must be in the following format:
“I’m sorry for __________” That way, he has to own up to what he did.
Now if I could just get other people to follow suit….
My oldest daughter does that to her younger sister all the time! It drives me up the wall! It’s one thing to be sarcastic and joke around but you have to now when to stop.
oops…now should be know.
I agree with the others above; just kidding is used to get out of sticky situations even if it’s where that person wanted to be. To get that reaction or get the little jab in without coming right out and saying what they mean/feel.
Joking around is fun and all, but there’s a point that you can take it too far and when that point has been reached EVERYBODY knows it.
Are you reading my mind, Joy? Just last night I was listening to a podcast with a guy telling about this loser girlfriend he had in high school. She was really mean to him, and would always use the “Just kidding” line. I sat there for a moment, trying to think if I knew anyone who did that. Nope, I don’t. I do have friends who have a sarcastic sense of humor at times, but they only use it with people who find it funny and who give as good as they get, and it’s not a constant thing, or their only brand of humor.
Anyway, this isn’t the first time you’ve blogged about something I’d been thinking about recently. Too funny!
This is just an example of immaturity and not caring about others. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could say to such people: grow up!
I am sure I have done this in my younger years. I recall a few life experiences that made me more considerate. Brief comments from my dad (the fountain of wisdom in my childhood), examples in literature, a caring boss. I was totally joking one day, really, when my boss wasn’t buying it and said “even a joke reflects a person’s true feelings.” So that made me really think, because if I care about someone, why would I toy with his feelings, just to prove how witty I can be? Now if there are people who continue to do this despite being told repeatedly that it’s hurtful, they are just jerks. Just don’t talk to them if they’re going to be that way.
I’m not a big fan of the “just kidding thing” because I am a fairly literal person so even if a person says some comment that’s hurtful and follows it up with oh I was just kidding I just figure that some where deep in side that’s how they feel.
I’m a lot like that too Starla.