I DON’T!! I tend to panic and get flustered. Then I’m no help. I have never been in a real emergency situation, so I don’t know how I would be. But when it comes to being put on the spot or pressured to give the right answer, I blank. Especially when it comes to tests. I could study all day and night but when I got that test in front of me everything I had retained would disappear.
My teachers and my mom knew this. No matter how hard I’d try, it seemed to never work. I changed the way I studied, nothing! When it came to state wide testing I would literally get sick to my stomach. It was the pressure, the complete silence required. I hated it all!
Bailey is in the 3rd grade and just finished up his MCA’s (Minnesota Comprehension Assessments). He is the total opposite of me. He loves the pressure. He LOVES the silence required. Most of all he loves being able to get a great score on a test. He is the only child I know that looks forward to Friday’s spelling tests. He studies hard for tests and unlike me he retains all of it. Most of it! When I’d be wanting to throw up and being completely overwhelmed with pressure, he welcomes it. The thought of him possibly getting a GREAT score gets him so excited! This makes me VERY happy to say the least! The down side to this for Bailey is when he doesn’t score as well as he’d like, he gets down on himself. He’s very critical of himself whereas I never really expected too much out of myself.
I know a lot of this comes from the encouragement he gets and being told A LOT how important school is. That wasn’t the case with me growing up. But I’m starting to think maybe I say it too much. I don’t want him to feel pressured by me. I need to find a happy medium with him. Give him what I didn’t have but I don’t want him to feel he has to get the best grade all the time. I do say a lot…as long as you do your best you’re fine. But I also kinda drill into him why it’s so important to me he does good in school. My family, most aren’t high school graduates, where his dad’s are. I just want for him what most of my family doesn’t have, a good education. The knowledge of the importance of a good education. Our environments are 100% different though too so that right there I know makes a big difference.
Could I be pressuring him without even knowing it? He does work better under pressure but I don’t want him to feel that coming from me! Positive reinforcement, I’m very big on. I just think sometimes I should lay low on the drilling of graduating, he is only 8! Or do I keep at it, he doesn’t ever act like he doesn’t want to hear it, he never rolls his eyes. He takes it and says, “yes mom I know.” I’d like to think in the grand scheme of things it will all benefit him. I just don’t want him to resent me for pushing him too hard. Then I think I wish I had someone to push me!!!!!!!