Have you ever called someone an ex’s name? Have you ever been called an ex’s name? I know these things are called a “Freudian slip“. I could imagine it could be very hurtful. It has happened to me twice. Yep, Paul has done this to me twice. The first time we were in front of all my relatives in Canada. IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE!! That he had JUST met for the first time. It didn’t really bother me at first and I don’t even think a lot of people caught it because there was another woman there with the same name and most of them might have thought he was talking to her. Once it sunk in my aunt said to me “at least he didn’t do it when you were making love!” Right, because then he would have been dead!!!
I was very young though and I’m sure that’s why it didn’t bother me that much because I knew he didn’t mean it. It just wasn’t meant and that’s what a Freudian slip is. You mean to say one thing and another comes out instead. I could have been a jerk about it and embarrassed him but I knew in my heart he didn’t mean it.
The second time it happened was a kind of “crisis” situation. We had gotten Toby a stroller when he was just a baby and we must not have put it together just right and when we put him in it, it collapsed and kind of folded together. He was stuck in it but wasn’t hurt but it scared us to death and he called me again by his ex wife’s name. That time it didn’t bother me at all. He said a similar thing happened with his oldest son and it was like a flashback. We were both scared and stuff happens. I think the older you get the more you can see things for what they are and know it was just a fluke, a mistake and it doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things.
I guess what you have to try and remember if something like this happens, it’s not that the person doesn’t love you and it’s not like they tried to hurt you. It’s just from the brain to the mouth, something else just popped out. I should state for the record that this happened 31 and 29 years ago. So even though I never held a grudge or even really got mad, I never did forget it. Hhhmmm…I’m just kidding Paul.
Have you ever done this or has it ever happened to you? Did you go off the deep end or take it in stride?
We dson’t have exes! 🙂 But sadly to say names have been called that were prolly worse than exes.
I have slipped out wrong names out a few times in my life.It was by accident and I wasnt even thinking of the person whose name I said.I have no idea why I did that.One was kinda embaressing.I was at my cousins 3rd wedding.I went threw the receiving line to congratulate them both.I got my cousins name right,but when I got to his new bride,I called her by his ex-wife.Well they all thought it was funny,but I was embaressed and not sure how the bride felt.All his wifes had 3 letter names,so I got confused.I have been married twice,and I never said my exs name in bed ,so I guess thats a good thing.It has slipped a few times when my ex was Tim and I was with a Jim.They rhyme so well.I have no idea why I said my ex,I wasnt even thinking of him.I believe it was habit.I was married to tim for 16 years and before that we were friends for 5 years.So I chose to blame it on habit.But when it did slip,by accident,Jim was not impressed.
I was called the wrong name…during one of *those* moments (*ahem*)…but it bothered him more than it bothered me. It was still relatively early in the relationship, and he hadn’t seen anyone else since his ex. Poor guy was so upset, though. I think he thought he committed some grievous error that would cause me to dump him on the spot. I think it was just force of habit, so I let it slide.
The same would not be true today. There is a difference being called the wrong name after five weeks and after five years, especially during a passionate moment.
The secret is to make sure all your ex’s have the same first name. Then you don’t have to worry about WHOSE name you yell, because they’re all the same!
That’s what my Dad did. He had 3 wives and they all had the same intials M.A. The first 2 were both Margarets and the 3rd was a Mary. My mom took her nighties sewed on the intials M.A. and mailed them to the 3rd wife as a wedding present. I died laughing!
This has not happened to me…yet!
Ah the mind of a women. Navar is always amazed at my long term memory and I am sure wishes he would have not told me some of the stories that he did early on. And luckily he has never called me another woman’s name except for his Sister which is fair because I have called him my brothers name. LOL I think wire just cross. I think both time Joy sounds like just crossed wires in your situation, and you handled it well. In bed, sheets would have to fly that would be another story.
This has actually never happened to me in a relationship. The only names I’ve ever confused have been those of my cats. Luckily, my loving and lovely boyfriend didn’t have a serious girlfriend before me, so I don’t need to fear it happening to me! 😛
I think things like this hurt more when you’re younger just because when we’re younger [and I’m still in the younger group, I know] we tend to dramatize things…
This has never happened to me but it just happened to my sister Roz. She’s recently divorced and so is her new boyfriend. They’ve all been separated from their other halves for about a year. Roz took her kids over for the weekend during Easter to finally meet him. During coloring easter eggs, he called Roz, Jennifer, right in front of her 3 daughters. It bothered her!!! Her reactions was…OH NO YOU DID NOT!!!! Mainly because I don’t think he handled it the right way. He just shrugged it off and laughed about it, never apologized for it. They are okay now but she was hurt no doubt! I don’t know what I would do! If it happened now I would flip out seeing that we have been together for almost 11 years…no excuse for that! Had it happened in the beginning, I would have gotten over it but been hurt I’m sure!!!
We don’t have serious ex’s! But I do call my brother Eric and Eric my brothers name when I am mad sometimes! They both hate it of coarse! I laugh it off. So many years of yelling at my brother, now it is Eric’s turn. LOL
Joy, I am studying Freud right now in Psych class, funny!
I must admit that I have done this to Paula a few times by TOTAL accident. I have always done it at the worse times too, when we were in a spat. That’s the worst time other than when making love which I have NEVER done.
Want to raise an argument to the next level? Call your wife your ex-wife’s name!
I got what I deserve though because Paula has NEVER made that mistake and called me her ex’s name.
I have not done that. I have called Toby Tommy on many occasions(usually when I’m yelling or am in a hurry. Tommy is my brother BTW) I’ve even called Toby Trinity b/4! My mom did it to us kids all the time and I could never figure why she had such a hard time with our names. I know now!
OMG I do that all the time! If were talking like that then I have called Josh Bailey and Bailey Jason. Jason Bailey and Josh Jason!! I even get the animals involved! Oh yea Bailey has been called Sari, Sari has been called Felix! I don’t know what’s wrong with me…oh the OAS huh Ma!? I even give up all together sometimes and say…oh whatever your name is…COME HERE!
“I should state for the record that this happened 31 and 29 years ago. ”
That just confirms my view that woman remember everything, and store it away to bring out at the right moment.
On the funny side, my father’s second wife is called Mavis and he often calls me “Mavis” (then he corrects it back to Matt) by accident when I talk with him over the phone. I also had an aunt who always called me “Andrew” as a kid, in the end I just thought, what the heck, I must have reminded her of an Andrew she once met and stopped bothering to correct her.
Not about ex’s I know, but the mind works in strange, connective ways and on that level, being called by an ex’s name might not be considered so bad. In a way, it’s saying to you, you’re the person that replaced this person. That person was important to me and my life at one time, and you have equal weight so to speak, so much so that a freudian exchange of names can take place occasionally.
My paternal grandmother has never once in my almost 30 years on this planet called me by my own name. She has interchanged my name with the names of my mother, my cousins, my aunts, my great-aunts, and even my dad or brother on occasion. She even mixes up the nicknames she gave to me and my lone female cousin. About 10 years ago she just gave up and would point at me and say, “Come here, kid,” when she wanted to talk to me. It works for us.