Question of the day

parents-kidsWhat’s the difference between a child getting whatever they want and being spoiled?

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7 Responses to Question of the day

  1. Sue says:

    Hmm, the first thing that comes to mind is that there is no difference because if the child is getting all they want they are already spoiled. They can be a spoiled brat or they could appreciate all they have, but either way they are still spoiled.

  2. SKL says:

    Difference may be:

    a) Child’s “wants” are modest;
    b) Child “gets” what she wants by working for it.

    But I’m not sure we can really say that because nobody ever “gets whatever he wants.”

    My youngest sister was such a good kid when she was little. She hardly ever asked for anything, always just seemed to be content to be hanging out with her family. She was always helping others out, but was independent enough to go get whatever she wanted for herself. On the very rare occasion that she asked for some modest thing, I used to think: this child is never told “no.” Yet there was no reason to say “no” to a modest request. So was she spoiled? I don’t think so.

  3. mssc54 says:

    A child who gets whatever they want = your child

    A child who is being spoiled = your friend or neighbor’s child

  4. Laura says:

    I think it’s gratitude. I will be the first to admit that Josh is “spoiled” – he has toys coming out of his ears, and I don’t see that stopping any time soon, since he’s the only little kid in the family right now. And he’s at that age where shopping for him is FUN!! Legos!! Cars!!! SUPERSOAKERS!!!! Not to mention all the hand-me-downs that were saved by my brothers, only to have them stored in my garage, basement, and closets for him.

    But…

    When he asks for things, there is always a “please” attached. When he receives something, he is genuinely excited about it, and the giver always gets a “Thanks!!” with enthusiasm. (and later, a Thank You note, but that’s enforced by Mom)

    And the most important thing is, when I say “no” to him, he (generally) moves on and accepts that sometimes the answer is “no”, and that he can’t have everything that he wants.

    So to me, the difference lies in that last point… yeah, he may have lots of stuff, but he isn’t a brat about it. I know kids who pitch fit after fit until the parents give in. THAT’S spoiled. At least, in my book, it is.

  5. Doraz says:

    As long as a child is taught to understand and appreciate the thought and effort involved in them receiving a gift….in my opinion, they are not spoiled, just maybe a bit more fortunate than others who do not have the same opportunities. A child who expects and demands things…spoiled~

  6. nikki says:

    I think I know what you mean by the question. Bailey is spoiled, I’m sure some say, but he deserves it, he earns it. Bailey has a lot, does a lot, probably more than some kids but I don’t really see it as spoiling him. He’s a kid once, I had a hard life, he won’t! He’s a good kid though, very respectful, if he wasn’t he wouldn’t get the things he gets or do the things he does. If he started demanding it or throwing fits to get what he wants…..OH NO!!!!! He knows that! He’s a pretty easy going kid though and that helps!

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