No Signal

no_signalSenators Grassley and Harkin:  I would like to thank you, and by extension, ALL of Congress, for your foresight and wisdom.  Requiring the entire country to switch to Digital TV broadcasting was a wonderful idea!  Thank you for doing it.  Not only was my life before digital much calmer, it was also safer.  I needed the excitement and danger that Digital TV has introduced into my life.

Allow me to elaborate…

Before Digital TV, I never thought about my TV.  It was just there, providing entertainment on demand.  Sure, the channel selection was limited, but then, I’m not much of a TV watcher, so I was happy with a few network shows and PBS.  The TV just sat up there not doing much, occasionally talking with the DVD player, but otherwise, just quietly waiting for me to turn it on.  Now?  Now it’s up there with cords, cords and more cords, because not only did I have to purchase that Digital Box, I had to buy a new antenna, as well.  And not just any antenna.  I had to experiment with multiple antennas to find the right one that was compatible with the digital signals!  See?  No more boring TV!  Now I have to figure out exactly which antenna is going to work with which box.  And I can’t ask the manufacturers or the TV stations, because they don’t know!  Each TV is different, each antenna is different, each box is different, each section of the viewing area is different, and therefore, the combination of TV/antenna/box is different!  Such excitement this has introduced into my life.

But wait, there’s MORE!

Last night, we had some dangerous storms roll through Iowa.  Oh, yeah, did I mention that I live on the edge of the famed “Tornado Alley”?  So, yeah, some nasty storms came rolling through Iowa, carrying with them dangerous hail, winds, and sometimes tornadoes.  So I turned on my TV – and trusty digital box – to check the weather and make sure that my young son and I would be safe.  And guess what?  More excitement!  More adventure!  The digital signal was messed up by the storm, so I couldn’t get a SINGLE CHANNEL!!  How exciting!  Not only could I NOT view the watches and warnings present for my area, I couldn’t view the radar to see which way the storms were tracking.  Such adventure and anxiety this introduced to my life that wasn’t present before Digital TV!

So thank you, Senators and Representatives.  Thank you for giving me touchy and unreliable Digital TV.  Thank you for getting rid of that old, staticky analog TV, where the channels still came in a little, even if the signal wasn’t strong, so I could still monitor the severity and direction of the storms.  Thank you for giving me Digital TV, where, if the signal isn’t perfect, the whole station freezes in a colorful mosaic of squares!  I now have a puzzle, on top of everything else!!

But most of all, thank you for always keeping the Good of the People above the profits and pocketbooks of Big Government and Big Business.  Because there’s no WAY this Digital Switch had anything to do with Big Government and Big Business.  Right?  …  I said, RIGHT????

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14 Responses to No Signal

  1. SKL says:

    Big Brother just watched you post that!!

    I have digital TV (I think) but it makes me crazy to see how the government is scrambling to make sure everyone has access to it – for free if need be. Heaven forbid they should lose their connection with the liberal “news” broadcasts, particularly now that they are basically government-controlled.

    I really don’t watch TV and I really don’t miss it at all! Just don’t mess with my internet connection . . . .

  2. trishatruly says:

    I’m thinking copy that and have like, 50,000 people send it off to their congressmen. I know I would.

    Well said, Laura!

  3. javajunkee says:

    U knew I would be getting in on this right. I had a post something like this a few days ago. It’s down right pissing me off. With all the other things they have to worry about this is what takes priority? *coughbullshitcough*

    I am still convinced it is a conspiracy of the government. I am going to dig my heels in and refuse to convert to their system. I am pretty sure digital tv was talked about in revelation in the bible.

    yes..let’s talk about the now we can’t get even our severe weather crawls. They have just now made 80% or better of the people unsafe and like you I live in Iowa. We do have a NOAA radio and I did keep up on the internet with what was going on but should I have to? NO! I used to be able to at least through a little bit of snow see a local stations crawl about the weather.

    they can all eff themselves. There will be those of us that dig our feet in and say “NO” to direct tv with their glamorous 2 year contract….and we will say NO to the basic cable at $20 a month for sports and mexican channels with the option to upgrade for $50 on top of that $20 to get shit we can even use. NO!!! F U and all you stand for digital tv people!

  4. mssc54 says:


  5. Sue says:

    Laura, I’m so glad you joined us!!! Amen sister!

  6. Joy says:

    I’ve been trying and trying to figure out why they did this but my little head isn’t giving me one good reason.

  7. starlaschat says:

    LOL Thanks for the post, I did hear the other day about many people not being able to get important weather info. Glad to see java junkee has already chimed in on this topic. ;+) I am down to one good channel ABC not my favorite and I look at it, as I’m slowly weening myself of the TV. I figure I will loose this channel probably soon and I am hoping to transfer my attention to the net and DVD’s. I guess we will see. I’m a bit stubborn on this, it just pisses me off and I don’t like it. Here I am watching my one good channel .

  8. pammywammy says:

    It does suck and I think its stupid.Up in Canada we have to do this too.I have star choice,so I am ok.But I no friends and family who are buying these little boxes to just have a few stations.I see it as money and control.

  9. Just a Mom says:

    Very well written!
    I have satelitte so this whole DTV thing has not bothered me much on a personal front. What does bother me is the time and money spent by the government to get this stuff done. But hey, it’s either them worry about our TV signal or them worry about pro atheletes taking drugs. God forbid if they actually worry about the economy or national defense!

  10. Tony says:

    Here in Australia they’re switching us to compulsory digital, it’s still in the transition period. We’ve got a digital set top box thingy & it all seems ok so far.

  11. Tosha says:

    Its all crap!

  12. Era says:

    I know how frustrating this is. We have the same problem during hurricanes. If you don’t have cable- you don’t have TV – and you don’t know about the storm that’s threatening to blow you away. Grrrr!

  13. jan says:

    Government success stories. They just keep on coming!!!

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