Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a .40 cal. Glock, and you are an expert shot.. You have mere seconds
before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do? 

 Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!  Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a pain-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click…. (sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester  Silver Tips or Hollow Points?’

Wife: ‘You are not taking that to the taxidermist!’

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8 Responses to Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

  1. SKL says:

    Republican, except that I’d probably shoot more than once unless I was sure he wouldn’t move again.

    Yesterday I was in a meeting about developing an area where there are a lot of really poor neighborhoods. One of the speakers is running for mayor, so I was attuned to whatever he might hint about his political ideology. He was talking about how the 4 highly-publicized rapes in the past week in the neighborhood (college campus, meaning somebody’s young daughters from other parts of the country being raped by local thugs) shouldn’t make people think the area wasn’t attractive. He said crimes are happening everywhere and in fact his own house had been robbed, and he participated in a stakeout and they caught the guy. And –

    “I saw this guy with four guns pointed at his head and thought how hard his life -”

    [I expected him to say how hard his life as a convicted felon will be – ]

    “how hard his life up to this point must have been to influence him to commit these crimes.”

    Ugh. Another liberal. Get me outta here!

  2. Joy says:

    I have to say that Toby read this when he was here and broke out into LOUD laughter.

  3. Oh, I’m a Republican. But that democrats’ one is FUNNY!

  4. Laura says:

    Gee…. I think I’m the only Redneck here….

  5. Tony says:

    Ha ha love the rednecks wife’s comment

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