I was talking to a really good friend of mine this morning and the subject of the long weekend came up and I asked her if she was going to a family reunion that I know her family has every year set for this weekend. It’s two hours away and she always really has a good time.
So, when she said this to me, it really got me thinking and then ticked me right off because I’ve had people say this to me. She said “with the price of gas, we aren’t going this year.” Okay, they have a huge RV. They have 4 four wheelers. Her and her husband both have fairly new cars and a truck to pull the RV. They just got a boat this spring. I know they went out last weekend and spend a LOT of money at the bar for supper and a bit of drinking and a bit of gambling. They have every single toy you can imagine yet she uses the excuse that gas is to expensive. ALLRIGHTYTHEN.
Why didn’t she just tell me they didn’t feel like going? Why didn’t she just tell the truth? Does she really think saying something so ridiculous makes any sense to me OR more importantly, to the people hosting this reunion or to her dad and his family?
I’ve had people say this to me also. That they can’t afford gas to come to see us. Do people really think you are that stupid? What you should say is that you spent your money on other things. You could afford gas if you didn’t have every play toy sitting in your garage or going out to eat and to concerts and flying all over and taking trips. This is a slap in the face to anyone you say this to. I would much rather someone say to me that they are broke this week because they OVER SPENT somewhere else or they have a previous engagement but to come out and lie, really irks me. You’re already telling a lie if you say something so outrages when we all know the things you’ve done lately so why not just say you have other plans?
If you don’t want to do something or if you’re just to busy, don’t say this because we all know it’s a bunch of hogwash because we all see how you live and you could afford gas IF YOU WANTED TO.
Please don’t get me wrong either. It’s neither none of my business what other people spend their money on nor do I really care. I buy what I want and wouldn’t want anyone else telling me what I can or can’t buy but just don’t then turn around and give me some cockamamie story about the price of gas. Father’s Day comes the same day every year as does Christmas and someone’s birthday. They don’t just appear out of thin air and if you choose to spend your money going out for dinner or going to a concert or driving all over kingdom come, don’t say you can’t afford gas for a special occasion because you chose to do something else with the little money you do already have.
Okay, thank you very much. I just needed to get that out.
Us Girls..Our Views 
You can’t even begin to know how much it irks me to hear people moan and groan about “not having money” or even asking me for “a loan,” when they enjoy far more luxuries than I do. I mean, I’m not poor, but I know the difference between a want and a need. Apparently, I’m in a very small minority.
I have a dear friend who is always fretting over her financial situation – yet is always spending money on remodeling the house, flying to Vegas, and various other discretionary items. I don’t have the heart to call her on it. I used to chat with an ex-co-worker who was constantly worrying about money and her retirement, yet in every conversation she told me about some antique piece or jewelry she just had to buy off eBay. I mean, at my richest I could not imagine spending what she was spending. How do people not see the obvious? I have a few close relatives who are not much better. It is frustrating because I want to see people I care about doing well – not losing sleep over these things – yet I know that if I “help” them, they would just do the same thing with my money that they’ve been doing with theirs.
I don’t know how it can be true, but it does seem that people really convince themselves that they are “too poor” for something basic while at the same time “able to afford” a luxury. Take one of my brothers. He’s a college grad with a pretty comfortable lifestyle – big old house, nice SUV (bought used), very fancy electronics, several pets, nice clothes, tobacco and alcohol, etc. But he is “too poor” to buy Christmas presents for his nieces and nephews. I mean, even when I was a kid, I would come up with a coloring book, a cheap little plastic toy, something. There are thousands of kid things that you can buy for under a dollar. But every Christmas, this man is just a nickel away from bankruptcy. How freakin’ convenient. The first time he did that to my kids, I complained to my mom (aka CNN) – after all, he owes his college degree and his ability to avoid foreclosure largely to my generosity – and the next year he came up with a small gift for my daughters to share. But he still brought nothing for the other nieces and nephews. I love my brother, but that is pathetic.
Isn’t it funny, though, that like 99% of the people in this country think they are poorer than average?
That not buying kids gifts irks me too when I think of all the “luxuries” some of these people have. They are “poor” when it’s convenient for them.
I hate the phony excuses that people come up with. My sister and I call it weaseling. If there is someplace I just don’t feel like going I tell people that I am going to weasel out of it and everyone knows I just don’t feel like going, maybe next time. Sometimes if I’m invited to someone’s house with Sarah, she will look at me and say ” Mom, you are not weaseling out of this”.
The high price of gas is a piss poor excuse and every one knows it. If they are going to weasel they ought to just say they don’t feel like going.
Oh Joan, I just love the word “weaseling.”
Old farmer once told me an excuse is nothing more than “the skin of a reason, stuffed with a lie”
(think home made sausage) 😉
Joy I have the same reaction inside when I hear that sort of stuff.
“Sorry but we have other priorities.”
It’s the whole mentality nowadays that’s to blame… All of us have the stories, mine is:
My parents have a neighbor who have one daughter, the same age as Josh. They also have two new cars (replaced every two or three years), a boat large enough to manage Lake Michigan, two four-wheelers (they live on a suburban street), and their daughter has about every mechanical toy available (I’m talking about those Barbie Jeeps and such).
But, when they complain that they don’t get enough time with their daughter, and my mom suggested that the wife give up her job, she said, “We need that to pay for DayCare!!”
Um… what? You work for the sole reason of providing daycare for your child, and you “can’t afford” to quit?
somewhere along the line, our society has decided that the important thing is ‘things’. We’re told that we can’t raise our children well enough so they need to go into DayCare at 6 weeks old, and besides, we “deserve” the break from them that a job will provide. We “deserve” the four-wheelers that have no place on a suburban street, we “deserve” the huge boat that stays parked in the driveway 364 days out of the year, we “deserve” new cars every two years, even though we’re just rolling one payment into another. And our children “deserve” every electronic luxury available on Amazon.com.
So it doesn’t surprise me that your friend thinks that gas prices are too high – that’s the lament of the season. We hear it on the news all the time, how bad the economy is, and how high the gas prices are, and people don’t know how to think critically any more, so they just go along like the sheeple they are.
(sorry, this touches a nerve with me, too)
It just struck me yesterday that all kinds of people use this excuse and it just doesn’t cut it with me. I guess it bothers more people than I thought.
Yeah, that is a funny one! I believe a woman’s choice to work or not is hers, but why don’t women own their choices? It’s the same thing as the “too poor” thing – if you say “I have no choice” you are basically blaming someone/something else instead of just standing up for yourself. “I work because I’ve decided that’s best for my family.” Why is it so rare to just hear “this is my choice”?
Off topic, but I too have to laugh about the idea that day care is a given. I had a colleague whose husband was a stay-at-home dad AND his kids were in full-time day care. Now, that never computed for me, especially since this created a lot of money-oriented stress for the mom. Her argument was that day care was better than having the kids watch sports with Dad all day. So I thought, well, he must be keeping the house spic and span, and preparing gourmet meals. But no, they split the housework 50/50 and ate carry-out every day. Apparently he hates cooking and vacuuming. Well! I guess whatever works. Is there a word for a male diva?
I’d say, “Jackass”, but that’s just me…
Or “GirlyMan”
Joy, I hear ya, not matter what the day is, or the event, just flat out say I don’t want to come over, or go to the event. Or whatever the case may be.. Tell it like it is. We are adults here and we all can handle the truth… If you dont want to go, just say No I dont want to go..
That’s what I think too Candi. If you don’t want to go, be an adult and say you’d just rather skip it this time. There is no need to lie about it or make up some stupid story when everyone knows it’s just made up.
I agree it is a choice. Last year when gas was almost 5.00 a gallon we choose to drive across the state to a family reunion and stayed in a hotel for one night. We could not afford to do this, but we decided this was important and just went. And for me it was the highlight of my year. It was so much fun and so nice to see that part of Navars family. And yes I think people do make choice’s on how they spend their money. And if you have a lot of toys and eat out a lot than it is definitely a lame excuse. For some people paying the rent and bills is a hardship so anything extra is very hard and I also understand that as well.
You hit the nail right on the head Starla, it’s what your priorities are. What you choose to do is up to you but I just don’t like the lying part.
Good rant, Joy, I SO totally get you. This excuse is just SO dumb that it’s hard to even grasp the scope of its stupidity. As if gas prices haven’t been going up slowly and steadily for a few years now. As if people suddenly wake up one morning, saw the price and said “oops, that’s too expensive for me, guess I’m not driving anymore!” As if people who have four cars don’t consume an ESSLOAD of gasoline in their daily comings and goings!
I don’t like when people lie to me either, but you know what, if you’re going to lie – at least make it a good one!
Good rant Joy! I hate people who have to have an excuse or point blame at something all the time. If you don’t want to go somewhere or do something then just say so!
I didn’t really mean this to turn into a rant but as I was writing, I guess I got more and more irritated. I almost didn’t even publish this last night because I thought it sounded to bitchy but man, I was irked.
Prices have gone up alot in the last few years.And then down abit.But we are guarenteed prices to go up in summer and at christmas.The government here has to make there money someway.I struggle with money.But when it comes to family gatherings,I dont want to miss out.I will plan ahead and have money put aside for that.And if its outta town,we car pool with the family that live in town.There always a way to go 🙂 And my only excuse right now Joy is my passport.But I am working on it,and my boys are more than willing to drive me to Fargo to meet you.YIPPEE!!I cant wait.
I can’t wait to have you here and see you and just spend time with you so get that passport.
Speaking of the gas prices specifically, they are actually down significantly from not too long ago. So honestly, I am surprised people even think that’s an excuse – unless they are really scrimping to pay for necessities.
And if I was PMS-ing, I might question the people as to what they will be doing instead on that weekend, and how many driving miles that involves, and how much they’re going to spend on their frolics. I mean, let’s get real. Unless they are going to sit at home, read, and fast for the whole weekend, they are going to be spending money. Two hours of driving is not that expensive – maybe 6 gallons of gas each way. Yeah, I think I’d have to dress them down if that was the excuse they gave me.
I was thinking the same thing, SKL…. Gas prices last summer were DOUBLE what they are now, and people were still driving! Of course, then, Bush was the prez, and life was horrible. Now Obama is the prez and life is soo much better… oh, wait….
nevermind…
Oh, wait…nevermind is RIGHT!
I always believed in being a straight up person and just telling it the way it is. So Joy, if you invite me over….and I can not come….I will give you the real reason…OK?
🙂
I agree with you and the funniest part is that it’s usually family members that are telling other family members this excuse to go/not go to a family event! Why do that when the family KNOWS what you have/don’t have and what your other priorities are. Did that make sense?? I’m sorry mum, but I can’t come for supper tonight b/c the gas is too expensive! WOuldn’t you kill me if I told you that?!!!
For you, I’d tell you to get off your duff and walk!!
Honesty is the best policy because people can usually see through phony excuses