Taking things out on those we love

pooh bearHurting the ones we love. How many times have you done that? Do we do this because we can? Because it’s safe? Because no matter what, this person will always be there for us and always love us NO MATTER WHAT? How many people are in your life that you feel safe enough to do this to?

I only have a couple of people that I feel confidant enough with that I’d dare to do this with. I remember I was really stressed out over a family deal. I’d worried all week hoping things would turn out okay. I really HATE great big get together’s so I do stress out over them. I know that most times my anticipation is way worse than anything that will probably happen and most times, everything is fine but there have been a “few” of these times. There was one gathering and yes, things were going downhill fast. There were a select few who thought it would be good to talk politics to the point of making everyone mad. There were also a select few who did the whole “hitting below the belt” and then saying “just kidding” when you know darn well they weren’t kidding but since they got “caught” they use the “I’m kidding” deal.

I had a couple of people just driving me nuts and my poor brother said something to me totally joking around and I just snapped at him hoping everyone else would just knock it off. I KNEW he would understand and not take offense and not get mad at me. I am that secure in his love for me. I know I’ve done this to Paul millions of times over the last 30 years too but there again, I’m secure with him and know we can talk about it later. He’s also done it to me but I always usually know what’s going on in his head and know it’s not directed towards me and later, we’ll talk things out and I’ll find out what was really going on.

So do you have people you feel safe enough to do this with or is it just me? There must be something to the saying “we only hurt the ones we love.”

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13 Responses to Taking things out on those we love

  1. SKL says:

    I have to say I can’t think of anyone who would really take that from me at this point in my life. Well, unless you count my kids. They unfortunately bear the brunt of my stress sometimes, and I’m not proud of that – I usually don’t realize what’s causing it until after I throw my tantrum. They get over it pretty quickly, but someday they will probably hate me.

  2. DM says:

    I’m guilty as charged….probably my wife is the only one I do this to @ this point.siblings, and kids wouldn’t let me get away w/ it too much.

  3. pammy wammy says:

    Yes I have a select few that I do this with over the years.Were I felt safe.I still do.Its venting your frustrations.And the neat thing is we still love each other and get closer every day.

  4. Just a Mom says:

    I was like that with my mom. I am also like that with my brother and probably my youngest daughter as well. I hate it when I do it to them but they always understand where I’m coming from.

  5. javajunkee says:

    I take things out on the one that is pissing me off…don’t have a problem doing that. HOWEVER that may include innocent bystanders. Right now I want to strangle my husband…and believe me I don’t have a problem telling him so….but its also being taken out on the kids and others around me.

  6. Karen Joy says:

    Yes,I now do it to my husband.I try so hard not to but it usually is the ones we are closest to that we do it to.I am very secure in his love for me so I know he will forgive me but its not always the nicest thing to do.I try not to do it with other family(siblings) anymore,some take it personaly and it causes problems.Ive always thought that to bad because your family should know you best and know your INTENTIONS were not to hurt them.Anyhow,this is something I am strifing to change!

  7. jason says:

    It’s not the fact that your taking it out on certain people but them being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don’t neccesarilly “look” to take it out on Nicole but guess whos at the door when I get home, good mood or bad. People involved close to our heart I think we can express our true feelings easier. Nicole always say’s “If you can’t handle me at my worst, You don’t deserve me at my best”.
    Luv ya babe

  8. My mom and I are like this with each other – it’s not that we WANT to take our tempers out on each other, it’s just that we do because we both fear taking it out on someone else. It causes a fair few fights, but we talk it through afterward.

  9. nikki says:

    I think if you are around someone for along period of time it’s bound to happen. Whether you feel comfortable enough to do it or that person is just there to take it. I don’t think it’s intentional, it just happens that way. Jason has a bad day at work and he’s only human, he tends to bring it home with him. Now I know it’s most likely not me he’s mad at but it still kinda hurts. One piece of advice I have gotten and I have tried to do this every day is give him the 1st hour he’s home to himself. He usually spends it sleeping but that’s his time to forget about his “work” stuff and he’ll be able to give me 100% of his time. Yea I’m reading, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus! It makes since though!!
    It still happens, I do it. For me it’s more that I feel comfortable to do so, I know he won’t leave me. We are both working on focusing our anger or frustration in other directions. It’s a work in progress!!! I certainly don’t think it makes you a bad person…just human! Great post!!! 🙂

  10. At my last job I used salespeople as my foil, although they deserved it. Guess my opinion doesn’t count then .. . LOL!

  11. Sue says:

    I take it out on Toby a lot and he’ll say “don’t yell at me, I didn’t do it!” Yes, I know you didn’t do it, but you’re the one I can tell how I really feel b/c you’re a third party so it doesn’t hurt you like the way it would hurt the person I really want to yell at!

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