AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!

bill cosbyI HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT IN THE YEAR 2012.
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1). Any use of the phrase: ‘Press 1 for English’  is immediately banned. English is the official language; speak it or wait outside of our borders until you can.

(2). We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports and we’ll do no exports. We will use the ‘Wal-Mart’s policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.’ We’ll make it here and sell it here!

(3). When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it coming in here.

(4). All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the southern border of the United States (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5). Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nuttin in, you ain’t gettin nuttin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

(6). Welfare. Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week. AFTER the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

(7). Professional Athletes — Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports for life.

(8).  Crime – We will adopt the Turkish method, i.e., the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more ‘life sentences’. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for the victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export of ours will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10). All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately, lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we’ll ask The American People if they want to donate to a disaster fund and each citizen can make the decision as to whether or not it’s a worthy cause.

(11). The Pledge of Allegiance will be said  every day at school and every day in Congress.

(12). The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings,  etc.

My apology is offered if I’ve stepped on anyone’s toes ….. nevertheless……

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Sincerely,  Bill   Cosby

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8 Responses to AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!

  1. Paul says:

    You got my vote Bill.

  2. I don’t live in America so I can’t vote for him 😦 I’m sorry, maybe in my next life.

  3. SKL says:

    I love Bill Cosby for standing up for what’s right, and damn political correctness.

    I wouldn’t have thought he wrote the above, but I have loved a lot of the serious pieces he has written / spoken. I don’t understand why the entire community of the USA doesn’t take him more seriously. Here’s a brilliant man who has been in the trenches and has also experienced success. He truly cares about people who are not getting a piece of the pie, and offers real solutions. I might vote for him if he ran for president, but he probably wouldn’t want to.

  4. Gary says:

    RIGHT ON! You won my vote Bill!

  5. joz1234 says:

    LOL! That’s funny!

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