I have a question I’d like to ask you all. I know you know people like this too so I wanted to know how you handle it or if you just do what I’ve been doing and ignore it.
I’m going to come right out, up front and tell you I’m talking about my mom here. She will never get a computer and if she did, wouldn’t know how to get here so she’ll never see it and BELIEVE ME, nobody is going to tell her.
I’m talking about “reformed” people. People who haven’t lived the Mother Theresa life but now preach to you constantly like they did. Constantly on your back about all the things you do wrong and all the things that are bad for you that you also do.
My mom smoked and drank until 13 years or so ago. I’m also just taking a good guess because we KNOW she was still smoking and still having drinks at night because she’d get telephone-itis and call us and we could hear the ice and we could hear her inhaling. All of our lives we had cigarette smoke blown in our face and all of our lives of seeing her get drunk. She wasn’t abusive in any manner. As a matter of fact, we liked her way more back then. She was funny when she had a few and she’d tell jokes and we honestly had fun with her. Now she acts like she’s lived the life of a Saint. What’s up with people like this?
My mom knew I smoked when I was 14 years old. She told me she’d rather I smoke in front of her and not be sneaking around and burning down the house. She also let us have the occasional drinks at home or while on vacations. It was no big deal. BUT NOW, we can hardly deal with her attitudes anymore. She is constantly telling us everything we do is wrong and is constantly picking us apart with these two issues. Okay, I smoke. My brother smokes and Jason and Eric smoke. We don’t rob banks and we are all, on the whole, good people. Our four kids have all turned out well. None are in jail. All have employment and have three have nice families. One is still single but a contributing part of society. What in the world gives her this right? We should be counting our lucky stars.
I’ve noticed other people who do this. Why? All I want to know is why you just can’t let other people live their own lives? Do any of these people honestly believe that if you nag someone enough, they will do what you want them to do? She also acts like she didn’t smoke OR drink at all for 50 years before deciding how awful it was and all who did it were going straight to hell. I’ve noticed this also with “12 step people” who are now “reformed” and they always feel the need to share their “new found” life with you every time they see you! I’m sorry; I don’t want to hear about it. If you want to not drink or not smoke or not do whatever, well bully for you but leave me alone about it. I know I have faults but I’m not going to change for you. I’m talking about overeating and overspending or ANY habit you may have. This just isn’t about smoking or drinking. Some people find fault with someone no matter what. There is no pleasing them.
One more thing, I know this got too long. My mom told me not to long ago that I “don’t see my own boy’s faults.” Well you know what? YES I DO but they are grown men. They have really nice wives that I love. They have given me 3 beautiful grandchildren and I will NOT tell them what to do. I want them to talk to me and be a part of my life so I keep my fat trap shut unless I’m asked something point blank.
How can “know it all” people not see this? That by constantly nagging someone, it only makes them not want to be around you.
Do you know anyone like this and other than telling them off, how do you deal with it without losing having them in your life?