What happened and how I am

001Hi All. I thought today I would make things a little more personal. Let you know what happened to me last week and how I’m doing now. Notice my gorgeous flowers on the right sent to me by our Laura. I was so happy to receive them and am really enjoying them. Thank you so much Laura for your thoughtfulness. You will never know how happy I was that you were thinking of me. I’m with so many of you on Facebook so you know how I am but I wanted to let those who aren’t on there with me, know what’s up.

I got “sick” a week ago Friday. I thought it was a cold or flu. I had a very hard time breathing and didn’t sleep all weekend. I couldn’t sleep laying down at all. Every time I laid down, I started to cough. By  Monday I still wasn’t feeling any better so Paul made me a doctors appointment for Tuesday morning and he took me. I couldn’t walk more than 10 feet without stopping for air. I also had to put on a mask since I was showing signs of a “flu” or cold. When I got into the office, the doctor took my vitals and my oxygen level was at 53. It should be near 100. I know he thought his “tool” wasn’t working. He sent me right over for testing. When they came back he admitted me to the hospital and chewed out my ass ONE MORE TIME for all my years of smoking. I could have cared less at this time. I just let him say I told you so.

So I get in and get all hooked up to oxygen and get started on meds. I did lose a lot of “memory” or whatever you want to call it. I thought it was the 50’s and my name was Joysofeen. I don’t remember this but have been told. I spent 3 days in and came home on Thursday afternoon. I have not had a cigarette nor do I have the desire to. I am on the nicotine patch though since they put me on it, it’s working, I’m going with it. BUT….I don’t want one. When I think of having a cigarette or living a “normal” life, a cigarette just doesn’t cut it.

So, here are a few pictures of my new life FOR NOW I’m hoping. My main goal and my prayer for myself is to get my lungs healthy enough not to need this oxygen 24-7. I go to see the doctor late this afternoon and we’ll see how much damage I’ve done. They did tell me my body got used to having this small amount of oxygen and for the minimum, it’s been like this for a year…if not longer.

I can’t help thinking of this song as I take on this new journey. I swear I’m not being a smart ass!

Here “he” is.


This is my breathing machine. It makes oxygen right out of the air in the house. I have enough tubing to get anywhere I need or want to go inside. If I’m feeling especially chipper, I can hook up more tube and even go out on the deck. That little cup you see that the tube is attached to is all for my comfort. It adds moisture for my sensitive little nose. Almost everything has been thought of.


There’s no hiding now. No way for me to disappear. Kind of like I leave a trail. Paul is already threatening to pinch it off if I don’t behave!!

Now, what if I have to leave the house or we lose our power? VIOLA!!


This is the big tank that’s always full and how I fill my little “to go” tank for outside appointments of if I want to go for a walk.


I’ve got a big group of supporters to which I’m very grateful. My mom, dad and brother check on me each day to make sure all is fine and my kids have been such a blessing in my life through this. Paul has been the man of steel and has done everything in his power to make this easier for me. I thank each and everyone. I was talking to my brother yesterday and he said, “you sound so happy.” Well, what’s my option? I highly doubt it will do  me any good to dwell on how much this sucks. It’s really better than the alternative right? Better than being dead.

The question to find out now is how bad my lungs really are and what I can look forward to in the future because I’m going to fight my ass off to get off this 100% oxygen because of now, it’s me and my oxygen no matter where I go or what I do.

So thank you all. I won’t dwell on this and keep going over and over it. It is what it is and I’m stubborn enough to give this a run for it’s money.

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30 Responses to What happened and how I am

  1. sean says:

    glad your off the fags joy…hope you get better soon..

  2. Vicki says:

    My mom did the same thing when her oxygen levels got out of whack, she said and was doing the craziest things and dont recall any of it. my step dad had to also use that oxygen machine, i recall the hose line running thru the house.
    Hope all turns out ok at the docs..
    Remember if you need anything when everyones at work during the day or whenever just call.

  3. Joy says:

    Thanks Sean and Vicki. I knew I got out of breath easy but man, I never thought of this. I take great comfort knowing you guys are over there if I need anything. The hardest thing for me were the inhalers and meds. I’ve never been on anything before but it’s been pretty easy. I’m getting everything down pretty good.

    Thanks a lot. You’re great neighbors.

  4. DM says:

    Big hug from both of us. Apples to follow. Thanks for this post. appreciate the details. DM

  5. trishatruly says:

    Joy, this is good. YOU ARE ALIVE!! And you are strong and stubborn, and brave, and dammit, this is the beginning!

    Girlfriend, anytime you feel the need for a ciggie, call me. I will talk you through it. Been there. Done that! It’s one of the hardest addictions in the world to overcome but you can do it and yes! Your lungs will heal and before you know it you’ll be without your “best friend”! HAHAHA

    Love and hugs!

  6. birdpress says:

    Glad you’re okay and having a positive attitude.

  7. Sue says:

    I’m glad you went to the doc b/c who knows what would have happened if you waited one more day 😦 I’m also so proud of you for looking this thing straight in the eye and saying “Not me bucko!” We’re here for you and will help with whatever you need.

  8. Laura says:

    Hey, Joy…. First off…. it’s always a good weekend when our teams win.

    Seriously, at the time of Steve’s wreck, he’d been smoking roughly a pack a day for fifteen years. That, combined with the hypothermia, and slamming around while his vehicle was flipping over, made his lungs extremely weak. Before the wreck, his doctor told him that he had signs of COPD.

    Well, during his recovery, they weaned him off the cigs and had to do a “lavage” with an ECMO machine. (That means that they had to run his blood through a machine to force oxygen into it because his body was not doing it. I don’t think he was even registering as good as 50%) They had to keep him medically sedated for over a week until his lungs were strong enough to wake him up. He was on oxygen for two full weeks while he was in the hospital. But eventually, his body recovered. They took him off the oxygen after those couple of weeks, and he’s back to ‘full power’.

    I’m telling you this to let you know that it can happen. Hang in there… follow instructions… and get better. Remember… I’m pullin’ for ya, we’re all in this together!

  9. Gary says:

    I’m so glad to hear you are home Joy! This awesome attitude of yours is what’s going to help you through all of this and get you off of that machine as you wish too.

    Good luck at the doctors appt and take good care of yourself!!

    P.S. I need to quit smoking! 😦

  10. mssc54 says:

    Attitude and expectations have a huge outcome on a person’s “recovery.”

    When my dad had one of his lungs removed and emphazeema on his other lung I bought him an “Austin Air Purifier.” The “Healthmate.” Google it if you wish. It removes particulate matter as well as gasses from the indoor air.

    I also clean air ducts for a living. If you have air ducts you should look into having them cleaned out by a reputable company. Use a company that has a camera that can show you pics of the before and after. Not ont that charges you $10 a register or some rediculously cheap price.

    Also putting cheescloth over the rigisters will inhibit particulate matter from recirculating into the indoor environment if you don’t get the ducts cleaned.

    Use a pleated filter on your air return (not one of those cheep blue mesh filters).

    A few years ago, at one of our daughters softball games, there was a lady there who had a portable oxygen bottle. At one point during the game she turned the oxygen off, took off her nose tube thing, got a cigarette out of her purse, smoked it then put her oxygen back on. I wanted to just slap yer. lol

  11. pammy wammy says:

    🙂 Hey you.Hope you are feeling better.You will be ok.I know it.Having a positive attitude and being stubborn will get you threw this.And you will get rid of those macines.But for now,rest and take care of you.You are a survivor,look at all you have been threw in your life and you are still standing.I BELIEVE in you.I KNOW you will be back to the 100% awesome you.Have a awesomely restful day 🙂 I love you Joy 🙂

  12. nikki says:

    Well you know I was given mixed info about what was really going on so when I saw you and found out how bad it was~it took everything I had not to cry in front of you. I let it out when I got home. I’m like you in a lot of ways .I won’t go to the doctor unless I KNOW something is wrong…I’m SO glad you went when you did. Bailey and I are over the moon thrilled yo have quit not that you really have a choice!! Well you cld be like my Grandma and lug your tank around to the bars and still smoke…not kidding she really did that! I know you won’t obviously!! Bailey has been making pictures for Jason asking pleading for him to quit. Keep your fingers crossed for him!! We are very lucky to have you and I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you so keep it up…. :}…..we LOVE you~ we have faith in you!!

  13. SKL says:

    Wow. I’m sorry to hear that you went through something that scary and uncomfortable. But I know you’re enough of a fighter to beat this.

    I wish you comfort and the most rapid recovery possible.

    I know it’s extremely hard to give up cigarettes but I also know a number of people who have done it once for all. So I know you can do it now that you’ve decided it’s what you surely want.

    Kick butt!

  14. Just a Mom says:

    I am so glad you are feeling better and your attitude is great! I will keep you in my prayers!
    I’m with Trisha! If you feel the need for a cig let me know I will help you kick butt if you need me!

  15. Laura says:

    By the way, I think that little machine-dude needs a name…

  16. Tosha says:

    I’m so glad you are okay and that you are home. You have an excellent attitude because you are right it could be worse.. You’ll b in my thoughts!

  17. joanharvest says:

    I smoked for years and finally quit 5 yreas ago. I think my lungs have healed a lot so in time I’m sure yours will too. I used to get out of breath just walking to the bathroom and now I can walk up and down Main Street.

    It sure was hard to quit but the results are worth it. Hang in there. I know it sucks now but it won’t always. It sounds like you have a positive attitude and that goes a long way.

  18. kweenmama says:

    I’m glad you are home, feeling a bit better, and that you have no desire to have a cigarette. You will beat this.

    Take care!

  19. See . . . I knew your better angels would bring you home :^)

    I would highly disappointed if the Joy I know didn’t kick ass here. Fight and beat it to a pulp!

    So very glad you’re back home and on the mend. God isn’t ready for you, and we still need you!

  20. Lucy says:

    Joy, Those really are pretty flowers 🙂
    I’m glad you are doing better and have such a positive attitude. I know the fight to quit smoking is hard… I’ve done it myself… good luck!!!
    I hope that you and Weezer (or BB –> i like both these names!) are only friends for a short amount of time. Then hopefully he’ll (or is it a she?!!!) move on to support someone else 🙂

  21. Thank you for pointing me in this direction, Joy. I’m so sorry that this happened, but I’m so extremely happy that you’re feeling better already and that you’re looking at the bright side of things. Many people let themselves go and sort of lose the sunshine in their lives when something unpredictable happens to them, but you’re fighting to get better, to feel better and to stay happy. In fact, although I’m sure it’s not always easy, I feel that you may not have to fight much – you’ve got the best support you can get and you’re an amazing person and not liable to lose that support any time soon!

    As I said before, all my good wishes are with you <3.

  22. starlaschat says:

    I read this post are you all better? That must have been very traumatic. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad you had your family so close by and so helpful. I liked what you said about being cheerful.Some times being miserable when things are miserable just makes it even 10 x worse. Hope you all better, and in good health.

    • Joy says:

      I will never be better Starla. I won’t get worse but I’ll have to live with it. It’s my punishment for 30 years of smoking. I’m very lucky to get all the help I do and I don’t need the oxygen very often. I’m having a hard time this week and last with the pollen but it’s all a learning experience since I haven’t been sick a year and don’t know what to expect with the weather changes.

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