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My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire…
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
How upset you must be.
But don’t fret about it…
She moved in with me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
L ooking back over the years
that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
‘What was I thinking?’
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I‘ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.————————————– ———————————————————-
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..
That you’re not here to ruin it for me.
####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…
Before you go…
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You’ll probably need it again.
********************************************************************************
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, & Pennsylvania.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.
you always said you’d die for me.
Now that we’ve broken up,
I think it’s time you kept your promise.
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We have been friends for a very long time .
let’s say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I‘m so miserable without you
it’s almost like you’re here.
=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
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Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we’re having you put to sleep.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Ha! I could have really used several of those . . . .
ROFL Those are great!
I thought these were so funny and coming from my grandpa who worked at Hallmark forever, it made me really laugh!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA….those are great!
ROFLMFAO! I really like the husband one!