Bad day at Hallmark

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire…

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don’t fret about it…

She moved in with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

L ooking back over the years

that we’ve been together,

I can’t help but wonder…

‘What was I thinking?’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I‘ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I’ve changed my mind.



————————————– ———————————————————-
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..

That you’re not here to ruin it for me.

####################################################

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go…

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You’ll probably need it again.

********************************************************************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia,  Alabama, & Pennsylvania.)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we were together,
you always said you’d die for me.

Now that we’ve broken up,

I think it’s time you kept your promise.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time .

let’s say we stop?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I‘m so miserable without you

it’s almost like you’re here.

=====================================================

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we’re having you put to sleep.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

This entry was posted in fun, funny, humor, humorous, jokes, laughs, laughter, people, things, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Bad day at Hallmark

  1. SKL says:

    Ha! I could have really used several of those . . . .

  2. Mrs.C says:

    ROFL Those are great!

  3. Sue says:

    I thought these were so funny and coming from my grandpa who worked at Hallmark forever, it made me really laugh!

  4. Gary says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA….those are great!

  5. javajunkee says:

    ROFLMFAO! I really like the husband one!

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