What’s wrong with me? Do I have sucker written on my forehead? Is there some neon sign on my back I don’t now about? I’m telling you I have thee worst luck when it comes to meeting normal people. I have nothing against women…duh I am one…however the bad ones always seem to find me. Maybe that’s why I lean towards hanging out with my husband and the guys. I don’t expect too much from them…they’re men‚ haha funny. Sorry guys!
Is it so much to ask to meet a normal person? As in normal I mean good values and morales and share some of the same goals in life as I do. I have the women of our family and believe me they have been my saviors at times. ♥ Not taking anything away from them or the few great girlfriends I do have or my blogging buddies who I LOVE…I would like to meet some women that I can have long friendships with. I know some of the ones that went bad aren’t all their faults…others I put entirely all the blame on them. :}
Am I the only one that attracts these poisons…life suckers if you will? I don’t even want to use the “D” word because I hate it so much. You’ll figure out what that is if you haven’t already. People who make up stories just hear themselves talk‚ or judge your every word or step you may take. How about the ones that steal‚ lie‚ live less than honorable lives? I’m no June Cleaver but I do have standards! The ones that help pull you down when they see you are weak and turn around and call you their best friend!
Best friends?!? Friends??? Hmmm lets see…the definition of friend is a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. One whom supports and sympathizes. The meaning is fairly simple in my opinion. Why is so hard for others to comprehend this?
I started writing this thinking I had so much to say about people in general that are all about the “D” and now it all kinda just makes me sit back and look at my life now. I have weeded all them out and will continue to do so as I see fit. My life isn’t perfect nor do I try to make it that way. I do live by my own morales and values and stand firm on them now. I’m no longer a walking mat nor do I have that damn neon sign on my back anymore. I’m 1OO% okay with my life and the people in it. I don’t have a wall up‚ however I am hesitant about people and how genuine they really are.
For the women who are 3O going on 16…let me give you a piece of advice if I may. It’s okay to change to better yourself. It’s okay to grow up and have real relationships with people. Take a good look around and see how many “friends” are still standing by your side? If high school is where you want to be then high school BS is what you’re going to get! As for me…nah…I never liked high school anyway! Not only is that chapter of my life closed….I have closed the book and it’s not one that will ever be opened again!
Us Girls..Our Views 
Did I miss something somewhere along the last couple of days?? Had “D” come back into your life? Where did this post come from?!!
Okay, I give, what’s “D”?
what? Drama.
I really can’t stand the word.
Oh, thanks. I didn’t know what you meant.
I didn’t either. LOL
LOL sorry guys!!
I know what you mean, almost all of the friends I had in high school I no longer have. Rather they want to drink and do drugs all day and still work at gas stations and the others just take advantage of you “moooochers”
Funny, I’m just the opposite… I’m finding that my old friends, the ones from grade school, high school, and college, are the ones that I’m still friends with. We never see each other, because we’re scattered about the country, but through facebook, e-mail, and phone calls, we manage to keep those ties.
I miss actual people, though.
Living in a small town, I’ve encountered a phenomenon that I didn’t expect. I expected the “everybody knows what everybody else is doing” thing. What I didn’t count on is that everyone (ok, almost everyone) who lives here, grew up here. They were born here, they went to school here, they met their guy here, and they married and settled here. And they, too, are still friends with their high school buddies. The problem is, that high school crap never left them. And the high school crap almost automatically dictates that outsiders are banned.
Or maybe it’s that, like you, I’ve had it with the D-word. I understand and tolerate it… even enjoy it…. from my “little sister”, our neighbor who used to be Josh’s babysitter, and is now a very close friend. But she’s 20, and in college. Drama is her life. But she’s embroiled in it because that’s what you do when you’re 20. From her, I get it. From her, I laugh, enjoy it, try to keep it all straight, and even call her on it if she gets too obsessive. But that’s what we do – I’m 39, she’s 20. I’m the “big sister”, so I’m supposed to play that role. But with women who are my age? I’ve had enough drama in the last two years to last me a lifetime, thanks, and it’s still going on. So I’m happy to let you have a couple hours, or a week or two of drama. We all need it. But when you mire yourself in it, when you can’t get past it, when you constantly obsess over it, that’s where I have a problem. Especially if it’s something stupid.
These aren’t friends I had in school….the HS reference meant they are stuck in HS. Junior high BS. They act like they are still 16 not 3O. Sorry for the confusion for that and the “D”…which means Drama.
I have had my share of “nightmare” girlfriends in my lifetime.Users,Abusers,Useless.
I have made many good friends along the way too!We still keep in touch.
But in 1996,at the young age of 36,I finally made 2 BFF.Its awesome.We accept each other for who we are.The good and the bad.Nikki,it will happen for you.Dont give up.The bad ones just make you appreciate the ones who will come along who are great,even more!
Theres a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who wont anymore….
And who always will.
So dont worry about people from your past,theres a reason they didnt make it to your future.
Nikki,just a quote I wanted to share with you.I LOVE it.I LOVE quotes.Many different ones in my life ,I repeat over and over when needed 🙂
Thank you Pam…I appreciate that…and it is SO true!!!! I think I’ll write it down on a sticky note and hang it in my desk!
I LOVE quotes too and am keeping this one with me too! Also, I thought Joy was right and everyone gave great advice. Friends come and go. Being young, I think I expected them to last forever because that is the type of friend I am and I look for that in others. But now I’ll accept they don’t all stay around! And for reason. Great quote!
I know what you mean, Nikki. I have had my share of women whom I thought were my friends who, it turned out, were definitely NOT! I felt hurt, angry, and confused.
Now I have a couple of good friends I spend time with but mostly I am happy with hanging with family and my man.
I do spend time with several people I am “friendly” with
whom I don’t really consider friends (since I apparently have very high friend standards) but with whom I have fun socially. I like it this way.
I hate the “D”, too. I am too tired to play that game….
I have found so much peace right here with my son and husband. I refuse to give that up for anyone and no kind of friend should ever want to take that away. Sadly people want others to be as miserable as they are.
I have heard so many women give this as the reason they hang with guys more than girls. Maybe you are finding “friends” in the wrong places? *shrugs*
You know Nikki, friends do come and go in life. I found a true friend again last night after not speaking for 6 years and we were both bawling we were so happy. We lost one another and it wasn’t a fight that we didn’t talk. But stuff sometimes just changes and we have to go with the flow.
I don’t have all that many “friends.” I do have a lot of acquaintances but that’s not the same thing to me. Drama and women don’t drag me in. I guess I ignore it or just don’t have that many people in my life who want to hurt me. Friends are supposed to want the best for you and not want you to be hurt so I never got all the fighting between friends. If someone hurts me or crosses me in a bad way, they are just gone. Kaput!!! I have had a few “doozies” in my life but not really all that many. Maybe I’ve just been lucky.
Also, I’ve always been very close to our families so it’s kind of like they are my friends. At least they are the people we hang with most of the time. I think I’d take family over a friend who would throw me under the bus.
Well, I’ve gone through many seasons when it comes to “friends.” There have been times in my life when I’ve attracted “bad” friends, not because I was “bad,” but because I was kinda lost. I never really changed my standards, and maybe that was what attracted some of the “bad” (also lost) people to me. Usually they lost interest and faded away after a while.
I tend to be humble (in real life, LOL), and there are not many people I’d “look down” on. Hence I don’t screen my friends based on superficial things. I don’t go chasing people to be my friends, but I usually won’t push people away if they make the effort. On the other hand, I’m a private person and I don’t invite people into my home or “personal life” lightly. So I guess that’s how I keep my boundaries.
Sometimes I’ve felt like I was rich in friendships, but that required me to have time for each friend. Today, I don’t have much of that, hence the small number of people who come to mind when I think “good friend.” I think I’m OK with that right now, though I do wonder whether I’ll be lonely when I’m old. Ya know?
SKL, I think you said it perfectly, because you were lost. I think that is why I have had some bad friendships or people in my life who were troubled or stressful. It was because I wanted to help too much or didn’t know where I should be in my own life. I wouldn’t label any of them “bad” people either, they are just lost too. But now that I know my values, and that I want only to be surrounded by positive, motivated people who are going to bring me up and inspire me. Getting involved in groups, classes, volunteering really help. I find you have to make a real big effort to be someone’s friend. Most woman do not trust other woman. So it is up to me to make the move. To call, set up “dates” so to speak. in our society, we just do not trust one another and it is sad. Because we need each other.
Nikki, I think you have a really big heart! You seem to give people a chance to be your friend, and maybe you see they need a friend and open up to them. I know exactly what you mean. It has been very hard for me to meet true friends here. To find ones like I have back home there that are like my sisters and I trust, ones I know would do anything for me. It is hard to find that. After being out here in another state a few years, I have learned through some bad friendships, through some who are stuck in HS mood as you say. I see the key now to find great friends, is to look in the right places. Just like if you were looking for a man. Where would you look? I think church, volunteering, or just chatting with people wherever you are and find out what their lifestyle is like. I tend to attract people with problems too. And I realize it is because I want to help. So from now on (I just went through a bad friend “break up” myself) I am only becoming friends with those who are where I am- placing importance on family, on honesty, on God, and moving in a positive motivated direction in life. Hope you find other woman who are this way too! Have faith, there are still great friends to be had out there.