Humor in the News

Today, I thought I would bring to you some of the humor that greeted me this morning.

Each morning, I listen to the radio a little, surf a little, and read a little.  Most of the time, whatever I find just depresses the living bat snot out of me.  But some days, like this morning, I giggle.  A lot.

I decided I needed to share it with all of you.

Here’s what started it.

More proof that we are all Rednecks:  “If you buy your Mama’s coffin at Wal-mart, you might be a Redneck.”

*snort*

Yep, you read that right.  Wal-mart has decided to follow Costco’s lead, and offer coffins and burial urns (engraved, even!  “Dad Remembered” or “Mom Remembered”).

So then I moved on to this lovely note from Governor Schwarzenegger to the California Legislature:

schwarzenegger(larger image may be viewed here)

Pretty innocuous, right?  “With all the crap that’s wrong in this state, you send me this drivel?  No, I’m not going to sign it.”  Except… read down the left-hand side.  Top to bottom.  First letters only, excluding the T and the I in the first two sentences.

Yep.  You read that right.  The Governator just said “F-You” to his Legislature.  (according to this story, it was directed at a particular member of that legislature, but I prefer to think it was directed at politicians in general)

And then, as if that didn’t just tickle me right down both of my funny bones, my brother completed the trifecta  by sending me this:

Researcher invents bra that doubles as face mask.

I nearly cried, I laughed so hard.  Then I started thinking, “Ok, maybe that could be a good idea…”  But then I read the last line of the article….

“Isn’t it wonderful that women have two breasts, not just one? We can save not only our own lives, but also a man of our choice next to us.”

Ok, what if I’m walking with my husband and my son?  Who do I help? Or what if I have two children?  More than two?  Do I then have to become Yarna d’al’ Gargan, that many-breasted belly-dancer who appears in Jabba the Hutt’s palace in Return of the Jedi?

And then I thought, what if I’m, um, blessed in the bosom department?  I’m thinking the average face mask is around a 36B.  What if I’m, say, a 42D?  Is there a way to make that mask smaller to fit my face?  Or do I just have to invite people in there to breathe the filtered air with me?

Maybe I should just go think about something else, instead, because I can see me getting myself in real big trouble…

This entry was posted in America, dumb, fast food, fun, fun facts, funerals, funny, furniture, humor, humorous, laughs, laughter, news and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Humor in the News

  1. joz1234 says:

    LOL! I’m thinking the solution a man would point out is that women should have more breasts…maybe evolution will lead the way. 🙂 If we have a need for more than 2 breasts, a third or 4th will be born. Maybe that occassional 3rd nipple is the start of this. 🙂

    California (and many other states) seem to have quite a few problems. I just hope we don’t set a “state bailout” precedent…that whole auto industry bailout and bank bailout sure did open some mighty huge cans of worms.

  2. SKL says:

    It’s always best to try to see the humor in things, especially things that scare and dismay us the rest of the time!

  3. Karli says:

    I’d probably fork over the money for the Costco coffin and then totally forget where I put it by the time I needed it. Like everything else I buy at Costco. Of course, “by the time I needed it” probably means that I’m dead so you can’t blame me for forgetting where I put anything.

  4. nikki says:

    Just when you think you’ve seen and heard it all….Walmart always amazes me! WOW….what else to say?!?!

  5. Just a Mom says:

    I love, LOVE, the letter from Governor Schwarzenegger to the California Legislature!
    Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

  6. SKL says:

    Hey, I don’t see anything wrong with Walmart selling coffins and urns. I mean, I remember when my granny died, and all these decisions had to be made on the spur of the moment regarding expenditures like that . . . the funeral directors basically say if you loved your mom a little, here’s the super-discount one for “only” [a month’s salary], but if you loved her a lot . . . .” Makes sense to log onto the internet right there and see what Walmart is charging for the same item. I think my parents would approve!

    Now, if they start selling them in bulk, I might wonder about that . . . .

  7. Laura says:

    I just can’t wait to see the “Redneck Wal-mart Coffin”… it’ll be Camo in color, with Duct-tape trim.

    Deluxe Model will include wooden handles and a beer can holder Duct-Taped on.

    Premium Model will have a gun rack mounted inside!

  8. Joy says:

    This should surprise me but it really doesn’t. What does is that it took this long. I’m kind or surprised the funeral home industry is allowing this. I’m shocked they haven’t devised a plan on you have to use their stuff. You know? I think the whole industry is a racket if you really want my opinion. They do try and push the most expensive things too and try to guilt you if you love your “loved one” you will buy them the best wood and the best “satin pillow” like they will really care!!!

    I knew there was a reason I loved Arnold. That part was awesome. I wonder how that could just be a coincidence. Do you think he planned to spell that down the side? I’m LMAO!!!

    Oh, about the bra, I wouldn’t be able to save a lapdog with the size of my bra!

  9. D says:

    i’m thinking the men can fend for themselves with their new jock/face mask. Not my fault they werent born with boobs.

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