What’s rude to you?

When I saw this on Dr. Phil last week, I really have to say, it made me chuckle. Rudeness really does tend to be a personal thing and everyone thinks different things are rude. They had camera’s going on the audience as they came in and sat down and one whole section was late. They all came in up to 15 minutes later than what the time stamped on the tickets said. Of course they all had good reasons for being late ranging from being caught in traffic to “I’m always late, it’s who I am and people know that about me.” Then they recorded everyone answering cell phone calls, texting and taking pictures even though there were strict warnings about turning your cell phones off when entering the studio. It was kind of funny that when people were talking about themselves, it was “different” or “justified.”

When asking the audience what was rude to them, here are some of the things they said. Being late and people talking on their cell phones and making everyone around them listen were two right on top. Then there was touching a pregnant woman’s stomach. Sarcasm to a waitress as to why food is late. Saying “what’s the matter, your feet broken?” People getting checked out of a grocery store, food on the belt and they leave the line to get “one more thing” and make everyone in line wait. People who interrupt others. The rudeness about driving was so full I can’t even get into it but I’m sure you can imagine. Everything from not signaling turns to cutting people off.

It got me to thinking about the things we do that may be considered rude that we don’t even think about. I had to think to myself that I’m bad at interrupting people. I do it quite a lot actually. I just get really excited about something and think if I don’t blurt it out, I’ll forget about it and not tell that person. But that really shouldn’t be an excuse because when you get right down to it, it’s rude.

What bothers you that other people do? What is rude to you?

What do you do that’s rude and you defend with excuses?

This entry was posted in adults, bad habits, behavior, differences, emotions, feelings, habits, kindness, people, polite, rudeness, selfish, things and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to What’s rude to you?

  1. SKL says:

    I do that “butting in” thing too, sometimes. I spent the first 30 years of my life never getting a word in edgewise because I was too polite. Finally decided that if everyone else thought it was OK to talk over me, I might as well do it to them once in a while.

    I usually give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to rudeness. Basically, they have to have a complete lack of consideration before I’ll get upset. I mean, some of us were born in a barn, and there’s not much they can do about it. Besides, I’ve had people tell me they were offended by things I never dreamed would offend anyone. So none of us are perfect. But you can tell when someone just thinks he’s the only person in the room who matters. Those are the people I want to accidentally trip.

    Examples would be people who talk loudly on their cell phones in a restaurant, make a leisurely stop in the middle of the road when I’m right behind them, don’t bother to look at me when I’m transacting with them, stamp every single email “urgent,” don’t apologize when they clearly made a mistake at my expense, call me at an ungodly hour, etc.

    If I do something in other people’s “rude” category (other than being late, which is a genetic trait), it’s usually due to absent-mindedness / distractedness. Like, I think I once cut in front of another parent to sign my kids into daycare. It wasn’t intentional; I didn’t realize it until afterward. But he was slow and I was distracted by trying to keep my kids from climbing up the walls. He didn’t seem upset about it, but I felt bad. So after that I’m extra-careful about stuff like that. I tend to err on the side of being over-polite most of the time.

    Speaking of being late. You know, they have all these disorders – ADD, ADHD, SPD, LD, Aspergers, etc. Who’s to say that being chronically late isn’t an in-born disorder? I mean, it’s not like people find it fun to stroll into a room late. I think it’s time we got an official diagnosis. Then we could demand accommodations. I used to ask my colleagues to have meetings late at night instead of early in the morning. Of course they wouldn’t, so now maybe I should sue them for discrimination. What do you think?

  2. mssc54 says:

    People talking cell phones bugs me. But I have fun with it. I ALWAYS join in their conversations as if I was the one they were talking to! haha

    People interupting when I’m talking bugs me too. However, I most often resopnd with, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to talk while you were iterupting.” 🙂

  3. Laura says:

    I’m sorry… what’d you say?

    I was texting while you were talking to me.

  4. javajunkee says:

    people chewing food and or gum with their mouth open right in front of you

    people who do not know the words Excuse me . You can stand behind me till hell freezes over in walmart if I see you out of the corner of my eye trying to squeeze through and can’t mutter a simple excuse me. (ok so does that make “ME” then rude???) <–ok put that part down for one of my rude behaviors.

    messes made in the kitchen by people old enough to pick up after themselves…assuming "I" will just do it

    ok..I could go on and on about traffic situations but we all have those annoyances and I could fill a page.

    …I got lots more. I find it rude that some assclown is making us sit through classes on a monday. I will be back!

    • Joy says:

      That making a mess in the kitchen or anywhere really ticks me off too. I’m not talking about a normal mess but toast buttered on my just cleaned counter top without a paper towel or plate. Or empty water bottles or dishes left in the living room. I know I’ll have to pick them up because I’m the only one who will be bothered by them.

      • nikki says:

        I think just a lack of respect in general is rude. I know what you mean about the crumbs. Those are little things but if they’re so little why can’t they do it!? Like we have nothing better to do with our time???

  5. Laura (LS) says:

    Now that The Boy is off to school, I have time.

    This definitely falls into the “TMI” category, but I have a serious problem with people, um… breaking wind or obnoxiously belching around me. I get that sometimes it can’t be helped, but most of the time, it’s just plain rude. When I go on a rant about it, my main question is, “Would you do that at work? While you’re talking with your boss? Eating lunch with coworkers? During a meeting? Why, then, is it ok to do it when you’re with your family or friends? Are we less important than work?”

    As I mentioned before… texting. I hang out with a young person who is constantly texting. While I’m trying to hold a conversation with her, her fingers are going. Eating dinner? texing. Going over homework? texting. Playing a game? texting. Absolutely rude.

    I second Javajunkee’s sentiment about leaving stuff *on top* of the dishwasher. Or in the sink. Asking, “Is the stuff in the dishwasher clean?” and if the answer is yes, just leaving your dirty stuff there, instead of unloading the machine so your dirties can then be placed in it.

    Not returning a smile in public. I smile at nearly everyone. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the number of wary looks I get from people… or the ‘quick, look down, pretend you didn’t see her’ looks. How hard is it to just smile back? You think it might kill your rotten mood? yeesh.

    Customer Service people who (1) stand at the counter, talking with a coworker, while there is a line of people waiting to be served. “I’m sorry, that’s not my job” doesn’t cut it when we’ve been standing there for five minutes, and nobody has offered to help us. We have lives, too! (2) constantly stop helping me to answer the phone. Every store I’ve ever dealt with has voice mail. It’s there for a reason. Use it. I’m a customer “in the hand”… that one may not even be a customer yet. So you’re willing to lose MY business for some faceless stranger who won’t even come to your store?

    Walking away in the middle of a conversation. I can’t number the people who have done this. Now, I get that I talk. A LOT. I get carried away. But I would never, ever consider simply turning my back on you and walking off while you’re in the middle of a sentence, what makes it ok for you to do that to me? If you don’t want to have this conversation, TELL ME. Say, “I’m sorry, I need to go” or even a slightly rude, “Sorry, I’m not interested in this conversation anymore.” That’s WAY better than just turning your back on me and walking off.

    I’m sure I could think of others…

    • SKL says:

      All of the above for me too, Laura! I never understood the “breaking wind” one, like, aren’t I so special, that you are comfortable doing that around me. Ugh!

      And the adult women I live/work with, who have no compassion whatsoever about the fact that I have to do all my personal stuff (chores, personal maintenance, parenting) in the few hours I spend with my two tots (because every other waking hour is for working). They always leave the sink full of dirty dishes that they will never wash, constantly leave crap on top of the washer/dryer (so I have to move it in order to do my / my kids’ laundry), etc. They leave their crap everywhere and then run off for their Tai Chi or whatever, feeling like ah, life is fair, we all have personal time!

      And the walking away during a conversation – I have a friend who does this, and also, we’ll be on the phone talking, and someone “more important” comes along, and she acts like I’m not on the phone any more, doesn’t bother to say “hey, I need to go, let me call you back” or whatever, just hems and haws and eventually hangs up. I HATE THAT!

      I have a good friend / ex who is so polite about things like that. If you’ve told him something before, he’ll politely say “yes, I’m familiar with that story” and smoothly transition to something that’s more interesting to both. Maybe it’s southern hospitality, I don’t know, but it sure beats the way most people cut you off.

  6. Gary says:

    I was raised to be polite to others! When I am walking into the mall, grocery store, restaurant etc etc etc, I always hold the door open for someone behind me and let them walk in before me. Many times I will get to the door and see someone quite a ways behind me and open the door and wait for them to enter. I think it’s VERY rude to not say “Thank You”. MANY people just walk in without saying anything or even looking at me. RUDE RUDE RUDE!

    I also have the same problem as you do Joy. I cut people off in mid sentence to say something I want to say. It’s a TERRIBLE rude habit I have.

    • SKL says:

      It’s nice that most people around here will hold the door. Some don’t; I’m OK with that, though it’s kinda sad. But what gets me is the people who will hold the door for the person they are with, then let it close on your face even though you’re right behind. Some people are near-sighted in more than one way.

      • nikki says:

        Oh goodness I think that is rude too! I hate especially seeing men not hold the doors open for women or older people. I’m so glad I have a thoughtful husband!!!

    • javajunkee says:

      If I hold the door for somebody and they don’t think to say thank you …I say “you’re more than welcome” with a big ass fuck you grin on my face!

  7. Just a Mom says:

    What bothers you that other people do? What is rude to you?
    ~ I hate it when other people interupt when someone is talking. That drives me up the wall! I also can’t stand people who are always late!

    What do you do that’s rude and you defend with excuses?
    ~ I have a habit of rolling my eyes when someone is talking BS to me. I usually tell them I had something in my eye!

    • SKL says:

      I do this too (the eye rolling), often without realizing it. Apparently it is most annoying to others. Once I got caught rolling my eyes at a work colleague (after I thought she’d looked away), and she called me on it big time. “Why did you roll your eyes at me? Yes you did, you rolled your eyes at me! Why did you do it? Tell me!” (I mean, probably because I think you’re stupid, right? How to say that nicely?) (I denied it, though. “No really, I have a particle in my eye, see, I’m still trying to get it out . . . .”) But yeah, this can be a dangerous habit.

  8. nikki says:

    I don’t like it when people pretend to be listening to you. Or they flat out turn their attention to something else when you are talking to them. I think it’s almost offensive when people chew with their mouths open, total lack of table manners. I’m really big on table manners.
    I also think it’s rude to unload all your bad stuff on others too especially when they didn’t ask. I get that a lot, and have recently bucked up and told them to stop calling me unless they want to know how I am.
    You know what else bothers me and Jason does this and he knows it irritates me. Every time I say something is wrong with me, head ache or neck pain or just had a bad day…his is always worse! LOL He says he doesn’t mean to do it and I do believe him. He catches himself most the time now.

    • nikki says:

      I don’t know what I do that is rude but if there is something YOU know I do..please tell me! The last thing I want to be is rude!!!!! Seriously…tell me!

    • SKL says:

      Ha, I have a friend who has every disorder she hears about. She hears about ADD, oh, I think I have that. Rheumatoid arthritis, yeah, that’s me. Diabetes, I’m sure of it, even though my sugar tests low every time I check. So I say, if you think you are sick, go to the doctor. Oh no, first I have to exercise and lose weight so I don’t go on record as having a “preexisting condition.” Whatever.

      But I also do the “me too” thing. Because I do have pain pretty often, though I rarely notice it when I’m thinking about something else. But if you start talking about knee joint pain, yeah, I have that too! Maybe not worse, though.

      • nikki says:

        LOL I grew up with a “2nd mom” that was like that!!! Whatever new disease or sickness came out she had it! Always something wrong with her. My son is a little like this. Doesn’t really think he has all these things but he worries he WILL get these things.
        I do the “me too” also maybe because we want them to feel like they aren’t alone. I know Jason does it just to make converstation but sometimes I just want to say…let me be in pain alone! LOL Stupid I know!

        • Laura (LS) says:

          not stupid. I totally get where you’re coming from… I have a guy who does that too, but you wouldn’t BELIEVE how much worse HE is…. (sorry, couldn’t resist!!)

          Seriously, Steve will do that. If Josh gets a cold, you can BET that he’s gonna be in bed the next day or two. Drives me nuts. I really think that half the time, he talks himself into it, because I don’t get sick. Either that, or I have a Constitution of Steel. Which could be, I think it comes with my Mommy Card.

          It does irritate me, though, when I have a cold, and want to just wallow in it for a while (hole up in bed, watch stupid TV shows, just check out for a while), and he shows up saying that HE feels sick too, and won’t it be fun to wallow together? Oy.

    • Laura (LS) says:

      Oh, my gosh, Nikki… I fear that I’m one of those “dumpers”!! I have so much drama in my life (and I hate it!) that sometimes I catch myself just gushing all this crap that I’ve been dealing with, because I’ve kept it corked for so long. Halfway through it, my brain will wake up and I’ll start thinking, “shut up! Stop talking! They do NOT want/need to hear this!!!” And then, I just sort of trail off, making myself look even more stupider (yes, more stupider) than I was when I started!!!

      Seriously, sometimes I wish that the person I was spewing this stuff all over would say, “do you really want to tell me all this? I’ll listen if you want me to, but, really?”

      • nikki says:

        Laura I wouldn’t mind the bad so much if they give me some good too. But I have people in my life that only has bad to share! I’ve been dealing with their shit for years and I finally had to be brutaly honest and it hurt but had to be done.

  9. kweenmama says:

    When people refuse to listen to your side of things–that’s rude! Talking a cell phone call or texting in the middle of a conversation, that is also rude. Drives me nuts!

  10. birdpress says:

    Oh, there are lots of them! I can tell from all the comments already that this one hit a nerve!

    My big ones at work are: being late (your lateness throws off my whole day!!); missing apppointments without calling (I lose money when you no-show!!!), hanging up the phone because you have to wait 30 seconds for me to secure the dog I’m grooming before I can take your call (safety first!! Give me a second, jeez…)

    The other day I was at Meijer buying groceries and I was using the U-scan thing that has the belt where you bag your own stuff at the bottom when you are done. Well, I went to bag my stuff and the jerk behind me was in such a hurry he could not wait for me to bag my few items before sending his down the belt right into mine! I was moving as fast as I could and was not taking long at all. I should have just bagged up his stuff too and walked out.

    What do I do that is rude? I guess sometimes I don’t smile back at people. I do that thing that Laura (above) hates and look away. I don’t mean to though! I have social anxiety and it is a reflex to avoid eye contact. I have to consciously think about it to look at people and smile sometimes. It doesn’t come naturally and feels fake to me. At work I am good about doing that but out in public, not so much. Usually I don’t want to be noticed. (I have good days and bad days though. Some days I am friendlier than others!)

  11. javajunkee says:

    I got one I got one…I HATE it when people are having a discussion and there is at least 1 person who thinks their way is the ONLY way..and they want to be DONE with the conversation… OH HELL TO THE NO!
    I got into a tattoo discussion with a chick at church and she wanted the conversation to be done with her pretty much saying people who had anything but Jesus tattoos were headed to hell. OH NO!! SIT THE HELL DOWN! We are just getting started with this discussion. Ok so I almost made her bawl which should have made me feel bad <–put that insensitivity down for a rude on my part)

  12. Sue says:

    Being late, telling you how to live your life, telling you to “just get a sitter b/c it’s so easy to find one and you need fun time too”, telling someone that something they like is dumb (music, sports, celeb’s ect) telling you to just come with and leave your husband at home with the kids b/c who cares about him, pouting when they don’t get their way, making snide comments under their breath but loud enough that everyone can hear, but yet they won’t tell it to your face, when they think it’s their way or the high way.

  13. Laura (LS) says:

    OH!! OH!! I thought of another one!! People who wear too much cologne.

    Maybe I’m ultra-sensitive to it – I don’t wear perfume myself, so I notice it when others do – but it actually gives me a headache when people wear it. Especially in an enclosed place, like an office, an elevator, or even at the gym.

  14. Mabs says:

    What bothers you that other people do? What is rude to you?

    In my office last week: I was sitting next to my boss, she handed me her cup and said, “here”- and I looked like, “huh? what do you want me to do?” and she said, “can you get me some water?” – – I was so stunned. I know she has a bad knee but are you kidding me? What ever happened to asking? Or, if I get up, she’ll say “Can you get my copies off the printer?” – – – one of these days I’m going to say, “Get off your lazy butt and get them yourself!”

    I will listen to people, but I often find- I can be rubbed the wrong way with the delivery of their question or request- attitude plays a big part for me.

    Can you believe she asked me to fill up her water cup? I’m still in shock. I’m such an idiot!

  15. Wendy says:

    Honestly the rudest thing I can think of is something my husband does to me frequently. We will be having a conversation, maybe in a public place, and we will be having trouble seeing things from each others point of view. He will turn, and WALK AWAY. Not say anything. Just walk away from me.
    I feel this is such a huge show of disrespect to me! His body language is essentially saying “I don’t care enough about you to stay and listen” or to politely say “lets table this discussion and agree to disagree”. The worst part is when I say it hurts my feelings and point out it is rude he honestly has NO CLUE what I am talking about.

  16. dina rose says:

    I hate the people who constantly ask me to repeat my self when they are not deaf it s a very rude way … its usually a way to wind a person up so rude

  17. shut up and think first says:

    dina rose, i HATE it when people say they get anoyed with somthing like you said- have you stopped to think that MAYBE YOU were not speaking clearly or if they have troubles hearing but aren’t acctually deaf or if they have a mild disability (i have this) so they can’t realise what you said the first time around so, this is what I think is rude- people assuming that they are alway correct without learning the full story or even thinking that you might be wrong and someone eles out there might be thinking “I’m really annoyed with that person who kept on speaking quietly all day so i couldn’t hear her,”

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