This Year, I Resolve…

I’ve been thinking a lot about New Year’s Resolutions.  Every year, it seems, I make the same tired ones that everyone else does: to lose weight, to get more organized, to rid my house and my mind of clutter, to be a better mom, to manage money better… and the list goes on and on, and just thinking about all of that just makes me exhausted.  And I never get a real start on one of them, let alone all, and nothing gets accomplished.

So, what, I’m thinking, am I going to do this year?

Because of the things that have happened in my recent past, I am keenly aware that changes need to be made in my life.  Turning 40 will do that to you.  Turning 40, and realizing that, even if you wanted a career, you don’t have the skills for one… that’s a major eye opener!  (ok, I have skills.  I just don’t have them backed by a piece of paper or by cohesive, documented experience that employers look for.  Managing a toddler while juggling finances, grocery days, and a newly blind husband don’t translate well on a resume)

So I started toying with the idea of making a Vision Board.  Except for me, it would be a Vision Book, because I don’t have the wall space for a board, and books are easier to add on to, and I’m an add-on-to-er.  (and there’s your Lauraism for the day)  And because I can do nothing without researching it to death, I came across a blog that dealt with exactly that, making a Vision Board.  And I liked what she said.  So I surfed around her site a bit, and came across this one very apropos post.  (I also think it’s very, I don’t know, prophetic maybe? that I hit what I thought was the “home” link, and it took me to that post – from December 2006.  Maybe it was my subconscious telling me something?)

In a nutshell, she advises not making a whole resolution, or set of resolutions, because that will bog you down.  It’s overwhelming.  But one word is simple.  One word is not overwhelming.  One word is just that.  One word.  A reminder.  A goal.

Only problem is, I have two words.

The first thing that came to mind, when I read her “one word” idea was the word, “health”.  Health encompasses so many parts of my life… “healthy living” means eating right, exercising, getting rest, playing.  “Healthy home” means cleaving a path through this clutter and maybe ridding the house of some of it.  “Healthy relationships” most definitely means being a good mom to Josh, and being a good whatever to the rest of the people in my life.  And most of all, “Healthy” is just a gift to myself.

But then I read a little further in her post and liked the word that she chose, “courage”.  Courage to be healthy.  Courage to finally let go of so many things that have bogged me down, from the things (literally) in this house to the emotions that I’ve clung to for so long, to perceptions, to fears, and so much else.

So I’m thinking, instead of another tired, not-gonna-do-it-anyway resolution that is done before it starts, I’m going to take her advice and go with the word approach.

Health.  Courage.  They can go hand-in-hand, right?  And hopefully, they’ll give me the boost that I need to make some long overdue changes.