Question of the day from SKL

What are you old-fashioned about?

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26 Responses to Question of the day from SKL

  1. SKL says:

    Heh, just about everything!

    How I wish I could remember what I was thinking when I asked the question . . . .

    I’m old-fashioned about expectations and discipline for kids – mostly. And about what they ought to be teaching in schools, in my opinion.

    I’m old-fashioned about trying not to waste anything and trying to fix stuff myself if at all possible. Extravagance is scary to me.

    I’m old-fashioned about reading a real book, getting around on foot where practical, playing a real piano / acoustic guitar, preferring simple foods in modest amounts, talking to people in person instead of on the phone, and staying close to family and “true” friends.

    I’m old-fashioned about getting great pleasure out of God’s unadulterated gifts.

    I’m old-fashioned about acknowledging the value of hard work and the problems caused by idleness.

    I’m old-fashioned about covering up my bod and not trying to look younger, cooler, or flightier than I am.

    • Joy says:

      LOL!! Isn’t it funny how when you think of a question, you know what you’re going to say and then you lose that train of thought?? I guess it doesn’t help that when you give these to me, I save them up.

  2. Joy says:

    I’m actually old fashioned about quite a few things. I’m kinda old fashioned in the aspect that I like to see two people get married if they’re going to have kids.

    I’m really kind of afraid of saying too much. I don’t want anyone to get mad. I’m old fashioned in a lot of ways but that’s FOR ME only. I think other people can do what they want but for me, I probably should have stayed in the 70’s.

    • SKL says:

      I agree with you on the marriage thing. A lot of gray on that, though, in today’s world. My close relative might have the dubious distinction of having the first divorce in the family, and she has a baby. What to do if the Mr. has his priorities totally screwed up? Then you have people like me, wanting kids and believing that I’m a good enough parent to do it on my own. I guess I’ll have to ask my kids (after they are 30) whether I was right on that.

    • Joy says:

      Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against single parenting in any way. I just think if two people are together and decide to have a family, I like to see them get married.

      • Joy says:

        This doesn’t sound right either. What I mean is I don’t think you “have” to be married to have kids. I guess what I’m getting at is “if” you’re together anyway, why not get married if you start a family? And in no way do I think you “have” to get married for any reason.

        • SKL says:

          Joy, I agree with you. I can’t think of one good reason to live together with kids and not get married. My brother lived with his wife for years before they married, and she had kids from a previous marriage. It didn’t seem right, I’m sorry. The kids knew what was going on, and the oldest daughter’s adult choices reflect a very iffy moral compass. But like you said, it’s not my job to judge.

          I know you weren’t talking about single parenting per se. But, there are people who think single parenting is always a bad idea. I could definitely see why my kids might be better off if they had an awesome dad as well as me. See, I went to the awesome dad shop and they were sold out, with no new shipments coming any time soon. Theoretically, my kids probably could have been adopted by a married couple who would have been great parents. I know they will have more emotional “stuff” than a lot of kids, between being adopted, minorities, and raised in a non-traditional family. (Not to mention having ME for a mom, yikes.) But I felt that God moved me to adopt, and that my kids belonged with me. So I’ll just keep doing the best I can.

    • Just a Mom says:

      Ok Joy I have your back on this one! I have a daughter from a previous marriage. I met my now husband when she was 5. I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter out of wedlock and my now husband asked me if we could just live together instead of getting married. I flat out said NO! I told him that I did not want my children to think living together was ok. I would have raised both of them on my own rather than to live with him and pretend to be married.
      I hope I stated all of that in a manner that made sense.
      Just my humble little opinion. 🙂

  3. LVISS says:

    ALMOST EVERYTHING.

  4. joz1234 says:

    I like original Coke.
    I also like to see people who are going to have kids get married.
    I absolutely loathe old fashioned Technology though. 😉

  5. Ellen says:

    I think with age, you become more old fashion. When I was 18-20 years, I thought my parents were old fashion, and did not go with their time. But now, I feel, I value a lot of the old fashion ideas, my parents had back then. But I am glad a lot of things have changed for the better, and some did not.

  6. Laura says:

    My traditional/old fashioned views on parenting are rapidly changing, thanks to people like SKL who are obviously intelligent, capable, and prepared to parent on their own. I used to be one of those who thought “you must be married, and you must STAY married, regardless of the circumstances.” But with age comes wisdom, and the ability to see that not everything can be utopian, and we must adapt and do the best we can in all circumstances. And with a single mom who is realistic, capable, grounded, and able to laugh at herself and life, those kids will be WAY better off than with a set of parents who are always squabbling and fighting, and are obviously miserable.

    That said, I do have other Old Fashioned views:

    I am insistent upon manners… my son is expected to say “please,” “thank you,” and “may I?” as opposed to “can I?” (that last was actually taught as self-defense against teachers who would make you dance in front of them with a “bathroom emergency” while they taught you the difference between “Can” and “May”).

    I insist that bodily functions – as normal as they are – are kept as discreet as possible and not flaunted and used as jokes. This is a very hard battle to fight.

    I believe that the dinner table is sacred (regardless of the meal) – time for families to connect and talk about things, not for texting, TV watching, etc. The TV goes off during dinner, except for very specific situations (the Superbowl, for example, or “Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown”)

    When he’s older, Josh will learn that it is his job, as “the boy”, to take No as NO, regardless of the body language. He will hold the door for girls, and understand that he is to defend the girl that he is with. That she may be just as capable as he is, but there are times when it’s appropriate for him to be a gentleman, and hold her chair, her coat, or her purse, and to let her go first in line.

    I insist on sportsmanship. That you get out there on the field and play your heart out, but you play fair. If you’ve done your best and you lose, you haven’t really lost, the other guy/team has won. And at the end of the game, you shake hands with your opponent and say, “Thanks, you played well. Good Game.” or some such sentiment. That the battle is left on the field.

    I also believe that if you don’t get a trophy, it’ll make you work harder next time to get one. Josh got a trophy this weekend for a wrestling match that he was in, but I noticed that ONLY the kindergartners got them – the very first, entry level. After that, only 1-3 place got them. I think the reasoning was that the trophy would give the little ones a boost and inspire them to keep going – I guess that’s ok… but he understands that he is not to expect anything more than a pat on the back and maybe a certificate of participation if he doesn’t earn it.

  7. Nikki says:

    I’m old fashion about a couple things I guess. The dinner table, like Laura I feel is sacred. It’s not very often we don’t sit at out table to eat supper. It’s our time to talk about our day, I try to draw it out as long as I can. There is “no hurry up and eat” in this house, unless we have somewhere to be.

    Hmmm what else? Marriage, I agree with Joys point. I have this friend who never really thought he’d get married. Although he’s been with his boys’ mom for 6-7 years now. His boys actually asked him why they weren’t married. He said to them, “would it make you happy if we were to get married?” They said, “yes.” So on 10-10-10 they are getting married. Just them 2 and their boys and I am so happy for HER to finally get what she has wanted, but never asked for. 🙂 In my eyes, why not? If you know you are going to be together, and have children then why not?

    I’m kind of old fashion when it comes to stay at home moms. Not that women SHOULD stay home, but IF they stay home I believe they then take on the job of the house hold chores. That’s not to say, they shouldn’t help but for the most part I think a lot of the chores around here are my JOB.

    Babies. If the Dad works and mom doesn’t I don’t think the dad should have to get up in the middle of the night. I don’t know if that’s “old fashion” it’s just what I think is fair. I got to sleep in on the weekends, but during the week I did all the night time feedings, and LOVED it!

  8. Lucy says:

    I’m not really old-fashioned about anything…. but then again I don’t consider certain things (e.g. teaching your kids manners) old fashioned! It’s good parenting.

  9. Sue says:

    I think manners are very important also. I also think correct speech is VERY important and if that makes me old fashioned then so be it! I CANNOT stand when I’m talking to someone and they use the text abbreviations for things. OMG, IDK, TMI, WTF. My daughter has started saying OMG lately and it drives me nuts! Just say Oh My Gosh instead! It makes me think of the Family Ties episode where Jennifer runs away and leaves a note on the mantel. Steven reads it and it said something like, “I, like, feel, like, nobody loves me and like, I’m just, like, leaving, ok? I, like, don’t understand why no one listens to me, ok?” And Steven says, “Well at least she’s like ok!” Don’t get me wrong, abbreviations have there place. Texting and blogging and e-mailing b/c that’s what they were designed for, but not speaking to others. I’m going to have to find that episode!

  10. SKL says:

    I think my kids’ manners are better than mine at this point. Besides asking really sweetly for things, they will remind me to say “no thank you” instead of “NO!” (Can’t stand being asked the same thing 4 times.)

    The other day my daughter did something nice for her sister, and sister said, “thank you, E, you are a very nice girl.” Awww.

    Too bad they spend most of the day tattling on each other.

  11. Just a Mom says:

    I am very traditional about most things.
    ~Dinner is on the table every night no later than 6:30 be there or you better have a darn good excuse!
    ~Church is on Sundays. If you live in my house and you are under 18 you go to mass. If you are over 18 you better start paying rent to obtain the right to not go to mass. You must dress in proper attire as well. If you want to stand in front of God in cutoff shorts and flip-flops with your belly button showing you better not sit anywhere near me!
    ~Ears can be pierced when you are 13 and can prove that you are capable of taking proper care of them. No other body parts are allowed to be pierced. If I see that they are I WILL PULL THEM OUT and gladly pay any doctors bill that follow from me doing so.
    See what you started here! 🙂

    • Sue says:

      I also went to church every Sunday growing up b/c that’s what we had to do. I didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t the best either! I am sad to admit that I have gotten very lax when it comes to going every Sunday 😦 I make sure Trinity gets to religion every time, but we don’t always go to church, which has started rubbing off on her. She will whine that she has to go and throw back at me that we didn’t go last week or the week before that or the week before that and I think, crap! What did I create! Our mass time is 5pm Saturday or 8am Sunday. We always eat at 5pm no matter what day of the week it is and I don’t feel like I ask to change that time. I can honestly say I have a hard time being ready at 7:30am on a Sunday to get to mass. Ya know what? I should have made going to mass my thing for Lent instead of giving up coffee.

  12. Laura (LS) says:

    OH, the piercing!!! Yeah, I”m totally with you on that. And no tattoos!

    Josh asked yesterday, “why does that guy have a nail in his lip? Doesn’t it HURT???”

    My thought was … Please God, let you remember this when you’re 14 and I give you the “you may pierce anything you’d like when you’re paying your own way” speech.

    Although I’ll admit to being slightly wobbly on the issue of pierced ears… but I agree with the practicality of waiting until a certain age (13-15 ish), so that the kid can care for the piercings by himself. herself. whatever.

  13. mssc54 says:

    I can’t decide which things I’m old fashioned about and which things I’m chauvinistic about. 🙂

  14. Tessa says:

    I am old fashioned about holidays, birthdays (important to celebrate and buy loved ones gifts and to decorate! Eric doesn’t understand this one yet!!)

    Manners, no swearing (unless stubbed a toe or in private w/friends-spouse), eating dinner every night at the table, dressing up for special events…

    I grew up with my grandma who is now 86- and my mom who was born in the 50’s-so I think I am old-fashioned about most things!! lol

    I think marriage is so important, family time, teaching kids values, playing outdoors-using your imagination-no texting-like to talk in person-or write old fashioned letters, I still do this…also I think what has gone out the doors in this modern day is taking time by yourself, just relaxing with others, usually when around people my age they always have their cell phones in their hands, texting when having lunch with me, I think this is rude. People need to unplug more, just be alone sometimes or one on one with another person.

    ..I just read SKL’s answer and I love it, totally agree with all of you too.

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