I read this on DM’s blog, Heart to Heart this morning (Sunday, March 21) and got his permission to share it with all of you and to see what opinions you may have on the subject.
Bucket list: Things you’d like to do, see, accomplish, etc before you kick the bucket .
Kick the bucket: die, decease, perish, go, exit, pass away, expire, pass, cash in one’s chips, buy the farm, conk, give-up the ghost, drop dead, pop off, choke, croak, snuff it.
The Spring of 2009 I had the chance to teach, over a 4 week period, my thoughts on writing a personal “bucket list” at our local community college. When the advertisement went out for the class, a local business contacted the school and asked if I could come in and do a 2 hour workshop for their employees. I told them I’d be glad to but needed to condense it down from a 4 week class to a 2 hour session….
I still haven’t made it to that local business, but today my wife and I had the chance to attend the Beyond Rubies Women’s conference and present it in a 1 hour session. The time flew, I wish we would have had another hour.
Here are some of the tips I shared:
1. When attempting to create a personal “bucket list” you do not have to share this list with anyone although you can. A bucket list (or 50 things to do before you die list) is a very personal list and does reveal a lot about you as a person
2. Do NOT think about money when you’re writing ideas down. Money is not the issue-you may never be able to do some of the things on your list and that’s OK. If you always filter your “list” through a grid of “I can’t afford it,” it stifles your creative thinking.
3. You may not be able to always do some of the things on your list exactly the way you want and that’s OK too-but you still might find a way to experience some aspect of your goal (ie. might not be able to get your pilot’s license, but how about a 30 minute ride in a small plane for $30.00)-you get the idea.
4. Don’t wait until you “retire” to do these sort of things-by the time you get that old, you may not be able to do some of these things, plus there is no guarantee you’ll live that long- (re listen to that Nickelback song @ the beginning of this post if you need to).
5. Some great places to get ideas for your list include: The Internet, other people’s lists, just paying attention as you go through your day- look for things that “resonate”
6. As we get older, the items on our list may be less materialistic and action oriented though not necessarily. Don’t ignore relationship goals.
7. Leisure is more than just taking a nap or a 2 week vacation once a year. As Tim Hansel said in his book When I Relax I Feel Guilty, leisure is not idleness. It is a catalyst for new experiences, new ideas, new people and new places.
And finally, here are a few quotes I shared this morning:
“My friend gave me the best advice – He said each day’s a gift and not a given right…”
“Against the grain should be a way of life…”
“Live like you’ll never live it twice.”
“Don’t take the free ride in your own life…”
Nickelback – If today was your last day
I’ll put down what I put down on DM’s blog. He’s talked about this before and the subject interests me. I wouldn’t do any of the “daredevil” stuff or trip taking or anything like that. I’d want to enjoy the simple things in life that I truly love to do. Swim in the pool. Go for boat rides. Have bonfires. Spend time with my family. Have dinner at nice restaurants. Just simple little things that I enjoy. If I spent all that time doing all those bungy jumping things, I’d miss all that time with my family and that’s the most important thing to me.
BUT, I’m older and I don’t think I would have chosen this 25 years ago.
Funny, the timing of some of these posts. Just about an hour ago I literally said to myself, “I might as well die now . . . oh well, my kids probably wouldn’t like that.” (I have something going on in my sinuses and you know how that can make you feel almost dead, even though I’m sure it’s nothing serious.)
Things I want to do before I die? Mainly, help launch my kids into happy lives.
There are lots of things I’d like to do before I get “too old,” such as reading books, traveling, etc., but if I died tomorrow, I would not regret leaving those things undone. My head may not be entirely clear right now, but I honestly don’t feel like there’s anything I’ll regret neglecting, other than if I leave my kids in the lurch.
But if the question is “what will you regret when you’re 98 if you haven’t done it by then,” I might say the following:
Really simplifying my life;
Keeping in good health, to the extent my genes and fate allow;
Learning something totally new at least every few years;
Traveling somewhere interesting at least every few years (as long as my health allows it);
Being as self-sufficient as possible;
Making a plan for my wealth (if any) to go to good causes when I die;
Nurturing friendships and family relationships so I am never alone.
The list would have been a lot longer if I were about 10 years younger. But that’s OK with me.
I see the Bucket List kind of like I see the Vision Book that I’ve mentioned before, and that I’m working on. A way to crystallize where you’d like to go in your life. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get there, but it gives you a set of guideposts. But life always hands us a winding road, like that story I heard once that compared having a Special Needs Child with taking a trip to Italy and winding up in the Netherlands. Different place, but filled with wonders, nonetheless. But I babble.
I haven’t finished my Vision Book, and I’ve never made a Bucket List. But if I did, some of the things that would be on it would be…
Take Josh on a cross-country train trip
Work as an Iditarod Volunteer, which would include being present at both starts and at the finish, in Nome.
Be the “Cool Mom” during Josh’s Teen Years – and by that I mean, the mom who doesn’t take crap, who isn’t afraid to be strict and strong, but who also is the one the kids can count on if they need a ride to go snowboarding or kayaking or other fun stuff that their own parents are horrified by.
Be present in my own life. Be at peace with myself.
Eradicate forever, stupid, brain-sapping commercials from television and radio.
I’m with you Joy. Now that I’m more mature (aka older) my thoughts are not so self centered but rather more along the lines of family. Now I tend to think along the lines of lasting, eternal benefits.
What can I leave my family that will serve them all the days of their lives? This one and beyond.
My list has changed, and probably will keep changing,. There are certainly places I do want to visit. Things I do want to do.
I want a better relationship with each of my nieces and nephews. My Mom, I want a closer relationship with her.
I want to watch my son graduate high school, and go to college. Someday get married and have children. I want a wonderful relationship with him, his wife and children. An active relationship with them.
Jason and I will still be young when Bailey moves out. I want to spend my days with Jason, camping, fishing, traveling. I want a huge piece of land, with a garden, and flowers galore!! I want a barn with chickens and pigs.
In the midst of all of that, I’d love to travel to Italy with my sister. Jason would never go, nor would he appreciate it. It’s not his thing. I know there are some other things I want to do, I just can’t think right now. It’s been a LONG Monday morning. 🙂
I think bucket lists are fun…why not dream big! Even if you don’t do everything on the list, you might do some of them. And it is okay to change the list from time to time as your priorities and interests change. One thing I enjoy is learning what is on the list of a loved one and helping them achieve one of their items. 🙂
kweenmama- that is a good idea (discovering what is on someone elses list and helping them achieve it) I never thought of that- too focused on mine I guess.
I think that’s a really good idea too Kween. You seem to always have good idea’s.
This is something I really want to do. Create a list like this, I mean. I seem to carry one around in my mind but I’ve yet to write it down.
Although there’s something morbid about a list like this, it’s an unpleasant truth that we never know when we’re going to die, and trying to strive for things, even little things, every day is something good, a way of enriching our daily lives.
I love the idea of writing a Bucket List. My list would be simple and I’m not even old yet…just wise beyond my years I guess!;)
Take a walk with my grandchildren, when I am blessed to have them, and just listen to them.
Do something, big or small, that touches a person for the better each and every day.
Now If I have to go big… drive a Ferrari through the streets of Vatican City!