Sweet Merciful Crap!! MY DOG!!!

And yes, Homer Simpson Fans, I know the actual quote is, “my CAR!”, but when you see how we celebrated Memorial Day, I think you’ll understand…

Behold, a beautiful dog:

Cruiser Face

This is Cruiser.  He just turned 5 on Friday.  Not braggin, but he’s a gorgeous golden retriever.  All pedigreed and stuff… he was bred as a seeing-eye dog, but flunked out when he chased a squirrel during the test.  That should have been a hint.  But no… He’s so good at distracting me, with his “bring” trick and all.  Luls me into a false sense of security.

So I let him out that afternoon.  Into my fenced-in yard.  My fenced-in yard that has a portion of the chain-link replaced with temporary fencing because my family helped me add-on to my deck last year, right before winter, and we didn’t have time to rip out the rest of the fence and reset it so the whole thing fits together properly.

Only one problem with this lovely little setup.  Cruiser can slither under the fence.  And he did.  And when I went out back to call him back, there was a little pause as I started to panic that my dog wasn’t coming back when I called him.  My friend and partner in crime, Haley, stood behind me on the deck as I called.

“There’s a dog… coming down the street.  Is that him?” she asked.

“No, that’s a big black dog.  It’s not Cru…HOLY CRAP!!!”  And I raced through the house to the driveway to see my beautiful yellow dog, trotting up the driveway, a big smile on his face…


Yes.  That’s him.  Here’s another view:


So you understand my Homer-like exclamation when I saw him trotting up the driveway.  And thus began the Great Dog Wash…

IMG_0894 Scrub.  Scrubscrubscrub.


Shake.  shakeshakeshake.


More scrub. scrubscrubscrub.


More shaking.


An hour and a half, and 3/4 of a bottle of doggie shampoo later, he’s still trying to decide if it was worth it.

This entry was posted in dogs, funny, humor, laughter, pets, smell, trouble, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Sweet Merciful Crap!! MY DOG!!!

  1. Joy says:

    I just had to save this post until you got back. It’s wonderful. Aren’t dogs grand when they do stuff like this? Our yellow lab Ashley did this kind of stuff and after seeing these photo’s, I don’t miss it. Did he stink too?? EEEwwww…did you wash him at home and get all that yuck off?? Was that just mud? OMG that smile on his face is priceless.

    • Laura says:

      Oh dear god, did that dog stink. River Muck. There’s no smell in the world like it… except Lake Muck, which is similar. And yeah, I washed him right there in the driveway – he’s lucky that we have a warm-water hookup for the hose in the garage, or he’d have got freezing, straight-out-of-the-well ice water.

  2. shanef says:

    Holy Crap !!!! How do you get that dirty? That’s pretty funny!!!!

  3. mssc54 says:

    He sure is trained well to just stand there to get bathed.

    • Laura says:

      If you can see it, he’s wearing a purple harness and a web leash. I stood on that leash the whole time so he couldn’t get away. As it was, we were doing a “circular scrub”, with him orbiting my legs the entire time.

  4. Nikki says:

    Oh tugging at my heart strings!!!!! I bet he had fun!! That was a cute story, funny to me, but I’m sure not to you at the time! Our black lab finds “something” that smells like manure but we can’t figure out where she is finding it. It’s terrible, and I have to bathe her in our shower every time she does it. She loves baths though, she just sits there nicely and enjoys the scrubbing. I’m thinking about using the COLD hose water. Maybe she won’t like that much and quit rolling in that shit!

  5. starlaschat says:

    EEEWWWWwww River Muc yuck yuck yuck. All pretty when you were finished. I also like the expression at the end says it all. What a day!

  6. Joy Rehnee says:

    It’s obvious that Cruiser is very happy with himself!

  7. kweenmama says:

    Ah, but he had sooo much fun! 🙂 We don’t have anything near here like river or lake muck, so our dog won’t ever get to have such fun.

    Fun post though!

    • Laura says:

      Careful when you say that… you have skunks, don’t you? Dogs can have lots of fun with skunks. And porcupines, and raccoons, and all manner of other stinky and prickly critters…

  8. lucy says:

    aww… it must have been lots of fun to clean him 🙂 He definitely must have had lots of fun

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