Can we talk about talking for a minute? Conversations, and conversation killers. Real conversations, where you’re sitting around discussing something with one or more people. And specifically, conversation killers.
Twice in recent memory, I’ve been involved in a discussion with a conversation killer. The first was regarding ways to get a healthy grab-and-go breakfast. I had just found the Yoplait Smoothie Mixes in the freezer section (I should do a product review on them. They’re awesome!), and wanted to share this yummy discovery with my friends. I mentioned the product, and immediately, one of the girls screwed up her face and said, “Eeeewww, gross!! That stuff is disgusting!!”
I was surprised, because we’re talking strawberry/banana milkshakes here! So I asked her, “disgusting? What’s so disgusting about it?”
“I hate yogurt. It’s got a weird texture to it. I can’t eat it, it’s disgusting. I won’t put it in my mouth.”
“Ok, well, for everyone else…” But, from that moment on, the momentum of the conversation was gone. She just kept shaking her head, “no”, and making gagging faces until the rest of us changed the subject and started discussing something else.
And then, in a different conversation, with a different person, at a different place, at a different time, I mentioned, “So, it was lunchtime, I was starving, so I decided to stop off at Hardee’s, ‘cause they’ve got these new chicken tenders that I wanted to try…”
And was immediately interrupted with, “Aw, GAK! I HATE Hardee’s!! I don’t know how you can eat there!!”
“Well, I like them, so I was going to stop, and…”
“But they’re nasty! I won’t go there. I don’t know how you can.”
And, even though the actual story I was going to tell had nothing to do with Hardee’s except that it’s the place I was on my way to when the actual event happened… the conversation came to a screeching halt. Because this person, too, was screwing up her nose in distaste, and frankly, I didn’t want to discuss anything with her at that point.
Why do people do this? Is it a control issue? If one person doesn’t like something when another person says that they do, why does the first feel compelled to tell just how much they hate it, to the point of actually shutting down the conversation? Or is it just me who can’t handle it? Because I shut the conversation down out of frustration with that person.
What about you? Has this ever happened to you ? How do you handle it?
Us Girls..Our Views 
Nope. I don’t have that many meaningful conversations. Totally a chick thing. Especially the screwing up the nose thing.
Wow. Do I ever know what you mean. I “try” to have a conversation every single morning at 9:30 with someone like this. But my “someone” interrupts. She’ll ask me a question and before I have three words out of my mouth to answer her she’s onto the next thing. Then she’ll say “sorry, what were you going to say” to which I reply “nothing.” She’ll even try to trick me into an argument depending on her mood. I think I’m answering her in a way that won’t cause her to argue and she’ll switch her stance from the day before. She just likes to argue.
I used to also have an aunt who like to finish peoples sentences for them. About the last 5 words she’d go for. When we were kids we like to try and mix up what we were going to say just so what she said wouldn’t be right. It got to be so irritating after a while to the point that the first time she’d do it would drive us insane. By the time we were half way throw a conversation, nobody cared anymore.
In your case, I think both of these people were very rude. Not just for turning off the conversation but it’s almost like they were making fun of you for what you like to eat. I don’t think that’s very nice when saying nothing costs nothing. We all like different things. I also feel these kind of people must be very insecure and need everyone’s attention all the time. I know in my case, my mom likes to be center stage and if she’s starting arguments or “stirring the pot” and causing others to argue, it makes her day and drives all of us crazy.
When you figure out how to stop it, let me know.
I think some people have extremely short attention spans – especially for what others have to say.
I have to admit to some degree of fault. I am not good at conversation. (Extreme introvert here – never got much practice). But I have a tendancy to make a conversation about me. Someone will say “yesterday __ happened to me” and I’ll say “oh, I’ve had that happen to me only it was worse because … bla, bla, bla.” I’m just trying to show that I relate to the person, but my story always seems to grow its own legs and take over (temporarily). At least now I notice it and hopefully do less of it. And I will usually remind the person where they were in the conversation before I rudely interrupted.
I have a sister who will overreact to various trigger words / references and go way off the path, so that sounds like the people you are talking about. I know she doesn’t do it intending to shut the other person up. I think she just feels everyone is as passionately interested in her pet issues as she is. And then she forgets that someone was actually trying to discuss something else.
Myself, I don’t like people to change the subject until it’s done being discussed, as in, people are saturated / sick of it versus just distracted from it. I’ve been told by friends that I really need to stop going back to where the conversation was 10 minutes ago. So I usually fight the urge to do that.
More and more, I just don’t engage in conversation to the point where I actually care what the other person gets out of it. Sometimes it’s hard to avoid, but I sure don’t go looking for an argument. And if another person does, I generally find something else to do as quick as I can. I hate to think of how much of my life was spent arguing with people who still, to this day, remain as naive as the day they were born.
I’m sitting here trying to think of people that have done that to me, and I can’t think of any. Maybe I’m just lucky…or I haven’t noticed it before. Now watch, just because of this post I’m going to start noticing it and having it drive me crazy!
You’re lucky Kween
Indeed those people just want to be in th middle of the attention. And often, when you see them again, they suddenly love the stuff, they first “hated”. And when you ask them, I thought you did not like it? They will say without a blink, I’ve never said that!! One of my sisters is like that. I really want to strangle here then.
There’s two people that I thought of right away. Joy already mentioned one of them. My grandma, her biggest problem is cutting people off. I talk to her everyweekend and she does the same thing everytime. She’ll ask you a question and when you’re in the middle of answering it she’ll ask you another question or bring something else up.
My older brother also does this. Not only does he interrupt you constantly but everything has to be about him. If someone compliments me on something in front of him he has to say something bad about it and everything you have he has something better.
I think both of the people I mentioned just have to be the “center of attention” always and as far as my brother he always has to have better stuff than you. My car’s better, my tv is better, etc.etc.
The way I deal with this is selective hearing and a lot of pateince. I just don’t let it get on my nerves.
I do know people like this, and I am pretty sure I’ve done it to someone else at some point. I don’t consciously mean to, but sometimes my initial reaction gets out before I realize it and since I’m not perfect it happens. I also think though that I can see the other person’s viewpoint/reason/likes or dislikes and accept it without it killing me and tell them so in a nice way. I don’t want everyone to agree with me, but I don’t want an experience like your’s either, Laura!
I think it is a matter of manners being polite. I wouldn’t say to a person ewww I don’t like that food or I can’t stand that food. If they offered it to me I would just say No Thank You I don’t care for that. It seems like simple manners. Wheres Miss Manners when you need her?
I’m quite sure I have done this also, unknowingly. Oh, well!
I know some people who do it frequently. Joy has mentioned one, and I have a close friend of ours that does it. I try to carry on as much as I can. It would depend on the situation, if I quit the conversation all together, or focus on different people in the room.
i know exactly what you’re talking about.
it’s not just a girl thing.
i usually let those conversations go over my head.
i look at it like it’s my life, so i’m going in.
i’ll meet you later.
That kind of thing.
if they dont like that, then it’s their problem
Try an equally disruptive comment, then say, “anyway so I was at Hardee’s and …”
For example:
“ew.”
“Oh shoot – did I leave the oven on? … Anyway so I was at Hardee’s and …”
Also your equally disruptive comment could be, “wait where did I leave that body? Anyway …”