Bad hair day…

Okay! I normally get a haircut every 5 weeks. I get it colored every third time I go. I never really learned how to fix my hair or how to wear my hair girly. My mom’s idea of fixing my hair was to cut it short like a little boy. I wasn’t allowed to have my hair long or to let it grow out until I was able to take care of it myself. I can still hear her yelling that at me. Weird!

Here is how I look in all our family pictures until I was 10 years old and in 5th grade. That was the year I could let it start to grow. This is a picture of me in our family picture for the church book. GAG!!!

Here is my brother and I. We were 7 and 5. I’m not sure who looks worse. Him or me!

I’ve never worn a pony tail and I’ve never worn pig tails or had my hair braided and I’ve never worn barrettes, headbands or clips or curlers of any kind. I had nobody to teach me and by the time I let my hair grow, I just liked it to be free. I think it’s part of the “hair issues” I have. I find a style I like and let me tell you-I STICK WITH IT!

Here’s my dilemma and I know I’m not alone. I blow my hair dry and I want to know why does it turn out some days and not others? Why is that? I never do it different. I always do the same thing to it.

Now……..I hardly ever go anywhere. But when I get out of the shower I always blow my hair dry and “fix” it. Unless it’s 8 or 9 at night, I fix my hair. I blow it dry and try to make it look “okay.” 9 times out of 10 it turns out nice and looks okay.

WHY IS IT WHEN I DO HAVE PLANS, MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE CRAP????? Saturday I get up and take a shower. I’m going to Trinity’s basketball game. I’m going out in public to “my town.” I know Nikki and Bailey are coming. I want to look good. I do my hair and it turned out looking like I never did it. I know a lot of people just put on a hat or put their up in a pony but I’ve never done that so it’s not an option.

Why is that? Is it we try too hard when we go out? Is it that “one more thing” you try to do?

What do you do when your hair just won’t do what you want it to? I just ran my pick through it and thought “what the hell.” But then the next day when nobody was going to see me, my hair turned out really cute.

Do I wait too long between cuts?

Well I’m off today to get it cut.


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37 Responses to Bad hair day…

  1. Jenny says:

    I don’t know why your hair never turns out the way you want it to Joy. I’ve never had short hair like you do. I go about 8 weeks for my haircut & color. Do you ever try to curl it since you have short hair? When I don’t feel like doing anything with my hair I put it in a pony tail since my hair is long. What exactly do you do with your hair? Besides blow dry it. Do you use any product in it?

    • Joy says:

      Well Jenny I always use mousse. No matter what or my hair is fly-away flat. Does that make sense? It’s not straight enough to wear straight nor is it curly enough not to have to use a curling iron sometimes. I use Back To Basics mousse and hair spray and if my hair is short enough, I use Kendra pomade. What I think I do is use too much hair spray in one spot and try to re-touch it everywhere and that’s where my problem is. The longer and heavier it is, the less it’ll do. The other day at the Scentsy party, I curled it from VERY wet with a super small circular brush and then just sprayed hair spray, bent over and shook my head and I thought it looked “okay” on Sunday.

      I wish I looked better in hats and wish I could let my hair get long enough for a pony tail. But even if I did, I know I’d never wear one. It’s just foreign to me. I’m so envious of you all.

    • Jenny says:

      I forgot to add something about my hair… I can NEVER blow dry it. That’s how I got my nickname from Ralph- Grizz Frizz… I take showers at night, put my hair in a pony tail and go to bed. I wake up in the morning, never brush my hair otherwise it would go poof! My hair is naturally curly so if I want it curly I put gel in it. I hardly ever wear it curly. I straighten my hair all the time.

  2. Laura says:

    I’m so sorry, Joy… I’m CRACKING UP, here!!! I have the exact same problem!

    I don’t know if it’s because we rush, maybe we’re looking at ourselves with a more critical eye when we’re doing it “for others” – when we’re going out. But I’ve had that happen more times than I can count. It’s one of the reasons I kept my hair long for SO long, and why I’m likely to grow it out again. It’s so easy to do something cute with it when it messes up, like put it in a pony, or braid it or whatever. Now that I’ve got it short, I feel like I HAVE to blow it dry every time, because if I don’t, my hair has ZERO body. I joke that I fought with the iron and lost, it’s that flat.

    I’ve also noticed, when I’m planning to make a change, like when I went short this last Thanksgiving, the morning that I’m to go and get it cut, it looks SOOO CUTE!!! I swear, it knows, and so it behaves better than usual, and begs me not to cut it. It’s messing with my head, I tell you!!

    • Joy says:

      It’s really not nice to laugh at your friend.

    • Joy says:

      My hair sounds a lot like yours. If I don’t blow it dry there is NO body or wave or anything happening but it’s not “stylishly” flat either. Figures and yes, my hair will turn out really nice in the morning before I got to Linda’s.

      • Laura says:

        I can’t use Mousse anymore… it never seemed to do anything for me. I started using Pantene’s gel for Fine Hair a couple weeks ago, and coupling it with the hairspray (also for fine hair). Between the two of them, it holds forEVER. Except when I slap a hat on, go outside to snow-blow the driveway, and sweat all over it. Even that combo can’t hold up to hat-sweat.

  3. Sue says:

    At least your hair does something! There are times that I can get mine to do something and it’s really cute, but for the most part, even after I fix it, you can’t tell I did anything with it. I’ve tried all hair lengths, but long works best for me b/c my hair and product just don’t get along. The more product I put in, the flatter my hair gets. Maybe it’s your product? Try switching up your shampoo or styling stuff and see if that helps.

    • Joy says:

      I love the way you can wear your hair though. You have pretty barrettes and hair clips and you can wear a hat so cute.

      • Sue says:

        I don’t think I look that cute in hats! And hats don’t have anything to do with your hair, it’s all in the shape of your head I think. I forgot to say that when I was little, every summer my sister and I got our hair chopped off too. I hated it, but it was easier for my mom I guess. I was in 5th grade I think when I got my first perm and was able to keep my hair long. Since then I’ve had it everywhere in between!

    • Joy says:

      Oh be quiet Sue!!!! You look adorable in that hat.

  4. SKL says:

    Well, I’m the last person you should ask for hair help, but I can relate to some of your frustration. Especially the way my hair usually looks awesome right before I have to wash it.

    My hair looks bad for about a day after I wash it. Like it’s frizzy or something. So I try to plan ahead and wash it the day before it “matters.” This doesn’t always work, but washing it “on the day” is almost always a mistake.

    I have several different kinds of hair all mixed together. Thick and curly, thin and straight, and everything in between. Blow drying usually makes the curly stuff want to stick out and the straight stuff lie flat. Not pretty. So I don’t blow-dry. I also don’t color. Which is actually a good strategy, as I get older, because my hair looks better and better “for my age,” LOL. Definitely the less I worry about it, the better it looks. Go figure.

    When I was a kid, my mom would say my hair was “like straw.” Every morning I’d wake up with various parts of my hair sticking in different directions. Then when I was a bit older, I learned to cut/style it a little (very little). But I always had kinda straggly hair. Finally I took the advice to use a separate shampoo and conditioner, which works better (except when it really matters). Another thing that I’ve done a few times is “oil” my hair with olive oil. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that, but when my hair was on the frizzy side, it helped.

    Oh, and I too have longer hair, mainly because I look like a boy if I don’t have hair falling on my shoulders.

    Since I don’t have “flat” or short hair, you’re probably better off not listening to anything I just said.

    By the way, your kid photos are cute. And they look better than mine at that age!

    • SKL says:

      Oh, one thing I learned was to NOT comb it any more than absolutely necessary. Like once right after washing it, and once right before going wherever I’m going. Every time you comb your hair, you are moving oils and stuff from your scalp all through your hair. OK up to a point, but after a point, it is counterproductive.

    • Joy says:

      LOL! Thanks. My brother is such a dork in that pic!!

      I’m almost wondering if I should stop coloring for a little bit and see what color my hair really is and if I like it. I’ve been coloring it for a good 15 years now.

  5. Joy says:

    I also feel I was never taught “how” to fix my hair in cute ways because my mom didn’t wear her hair cute either and always had hers very short. She now still wears a 70’s afro perm cut very short and all she does is uses a pick after she washes it. I don’t think she ever once fixed her hair.

    • SKL says:

      My mom is really particular about her hair, but never happy with it! She wears it longer and it’s thin and straight, so she tries to curl it but she’s lucky if she gets a bit of a wave. I wish she could just throw a comb thru it and not care if it isn’t fit for the queen’s wedding, you know? She worries to the point of getting too sick to go out (not just about her hair, but the whole package). I used to be very self-conscious too, but at some point I just quit that. Who am I trying to impress, anyway?

  6. Karen Joy says:

    Well all I can say is I blame those days on the weather.Its usually the humidity that gives me my crappy hair day.And yes,even in our cold winter I can tell when its higher humidity when doing my hair.Summer is FULL of crappy hair days for sure!Last winter when we went to AZ I was doing my hair the first day there and I was having an awful time.I actually stopped and went to look up the humidity on the comp.It was high-in AZ!Totally not expected there.BAD HAIR DAY!Thats my story and Im stickin’ to it:)

    • Laura says:

      With my hair, it’s dry weather. The lower the humidity, the less manageable my hair is. THOSE are the days when it’s pony-tail and be done with it. Unless it’s short, then I spray it into oblivion, and walk around with helmet hair.

    • Joy says:

      I wear the helmet hair all the time also! What a term!!

  7. Ellen says:

    I can relate to the weather / hair blame. I haven’t had better hair than here in CA. In the Netherlands, the humidity and rain made my hair curl in the most strange ways. Here, the climate is dry and it is easy to style it. I only use some hair-oil (Moroccan, they sell it at WalMart), when it is washed. Then, I let it almost dry and style it with a straightener/brush. My hair does not work well with mousse either. Joy, maybe, try to let it grow a bit and see if that makes it easier for you. I assume you only color the roots of your hair? Good luck!!

    • Joy says:

      I do color my roots Ellen but highlight the rest of it. My hair is so many different shade that I don’t even know “really” what color it is anymore. But weather really plays a big part of the way my hair behaves. It’s horrible in humidity. During the summer I do like to cut it mostly off. Otherwise it just drives me nuts. I do like to feel it on my neck during the winter or when I wear a lot of sweaters and turtlenecks so I normally layer it.

    • Nikki says:

      They sell Moroccan oil at Walmart??? Do you know I spent $45 on a SMALL bottle of that! Online, because I was told it’d work, and it did, but that’s too much money for me! I’ll look next time I’m there!

  8. Ellen says:

    BTW forgot to say, I love the pictures!!

  9. Nikki says:

    I think that first picture of you is adorable!

    I think weather plays a part in it. And how much products you use, and how much you play with it. I have realized that the more I mess with my hair, the worse it gets. Some days are just bad! But I can throw my hair in a pony tail. I have to be able to do that. I have had my hair so short, it doesn’t fit in one and it drives me mad.

    My hair is so weird. I can’t stand it. I would kill for hair that I could wash, and go. I can’t do that! It’s curly underneath, and straighter on top, and thick and frizzy. If I am going out of my house, it’s either in a pony tail, or messy bun. Or I spend 30 minutes at least, curling it, which I rarely do. I have a lot of hair. I very rarely straighten it, because that is so bad for your hair. Any excessive heat is damaging to your hair, and mine is already frizzy! I have yet to find a products that will fix that entirely!

    I recently just chopped off 8 inches, I love it and will keep it that length. It only takes me 15 minutes to dry and smooth out with the curling iron. But when I’m home, it still goes in a pony tail.

    I don’t really know what to tell you, other than finding a maybe a more lightweight products. Something that you can spray and then go back and mess with. Do you use an actual curling iron, or just blow dry with a round brush?

    • Nikki says:

      Oh and I have also been told to not wash your hair every day. I’ve tried to do that but can’t because I work out almost every day and it gets sweaty. Have you tried going every other day?

    • Joy says:

      I find the longer my hair gets the less product I can use. It just seems to weigh it down so much. I don’t wash my hair anymore everyday but if I go out I do.

      I LOVE your new haircut.

  10. Phyllis says:

    Joy, I love the pics and you look really cute in the church one! Ok, hate me if you will, but I actually like my hair. However, I do the cutting and coloring myself. I have “normal” hair, neither too dry or too greasy, so I can get away with washing once a week. I’ve had the same style (I’m embarrassed to admit) for about 20 yrs. Theory being, if it works and I like it, why mess with it! Same style, but sometimes a little fuller, others a little shorter. Have any of you tried Tressome Curl Care? I don’t really have curly hair, but it gives a lot of body with a minimum amount of fuss, and is good in all types of weather. I blow dry the hair almost dry, then work in the Curl care and wait for it to dry before I curl my hair. The back is trimmed real short, kind of skull hugging, with more length on top and sides which I curl from the front of the ears to the face. Total curl time’s only about 10 min.tops. Then finish with a little bit of maximum hair spray to hold in place. Like I mentioned, not much muss or fuss and it works for me.

  11. kweenmama says:

    I happen to like the 5th grade picture. 🙂 You look cute! Have you ever asked your hairdresser these same questions? Maybe they can help you…Although, I think we tend to be harder on ourselves than we need to be. It could be that you think your hair looks horrible and others think it looks just fine.

    • Nikki says:

      She’s right. Your hair always looks nicely done, especially when we’re out. Maybe not on a horribly humid day or a rainy day, but even then, you look good! I like the short cut on you, I only wish I could wear my hair short! Have you seen my friend Nikki? I’d love to have my hair like hers. But I just don’t think I have the face for it. The shorter my hair is, the bigger it makes my nose look. IMO

  12. Yay! We’re alike in another way – neither of us like doing too much with our hair! Since I’ve never blown my hair dry on my own (my mom always helped me at home, and now that my hair is shortish I don’t need to do it) I haven’t got any tips… But I can tell you that I think hair just has moods. I swear, some days, I think that hair decides to just go all weird on us for absolutely no apparent reason.

    Thank you, by the way, for the encouraging comments and the FB wall post ^_^ – it means so much to me! *Hugs*

  13. Pingback: The Quirky Martini » Hair Talk

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