What do you all think of this? Should this woman have been fired?
what people are talking about
Nunniabiness B on Magic Eye neomama on Cheeseburger Soup Shelley on Cheeseburger Soup Dyahn Darvey on Salisbury Steak from Paula… irene trammel on Magic Eye Julianne on Cheeseburger Soup Vanna on How long do you shower? Michelle Colpus on Your children Tanya on Cheeseburger Soup Heather on Cheeseburger Soup Donna Dillard on Cheeseburger Soup Donna Dillard on Cheeseburger Soup Sharon on Cheeseburger Soup JoJo on Cheeseburger Soup Ellen on Cheeseburger Soup
Us Girls..Our Views 
Yes! She doesn’t work in the kitchen. I’ll admit to being a bit selfish at times. If I take my Mrs out for a nice romantic dinner I want it to be about us. Period.
Perhaps the employer could have given her the option of wearing a wig. If she doesn’t like that have her invest her life’s savings and borrow money from a bank too open her own business.
Not likely to be very popular but I’ve grown a bit annoyed with all the demands being put on small business owners by government regulations, lending institutions and customers. If, as an employee, you don’t have enough common sense to speak to your employer before dramatically altering your appearance then maybe you have just earned a place in the unemployment line!
I really do see your point of view. I know Paul hates when he’s told what he has to do or what he can’t do with his own company. It’s the owners business and I think a lot of times people forget that when they start talking about what’s fair and what’s not.
I do however have a problem with it IF she didn’t know about the dress code nor the fact she would lose her job.
Okay, first of all my response was about 9:40 pm last night. Joy published this earlier than usual and it caught me off guard. In other words, my initial caustic remark is not my fault… it’s Joy’s! 🙂
Look, like or not the vast majority of people expect different things from women than they do me. Right or wrong there it is. Would you let your daughter go places alone that you would allow your son? If your daughter or son wants to have a mohawk haircut which one is more likely to have your blessing?
This young lady/woman had one focus, her uncle. She neglected to recognize that she does not live in a vacuum. Perhaps her intentions were altruistic and she truly wanted to shave her head to show her uncle that she loves him and wants to do whatever she can to show him her love and suport for him in this very difficult (perhaps life threatening) season. But then again, the cynic in me says that there is also the possibility that she shaved her head to get her own attention. Like, “Poor me, my uncle has cancer. Give me some attention, etc.” Admit it, as deplorable as that is there are those who do such things.
However, regarding her employment, the sole question that should be asked and answered is; “Did shaving her head make her MORE or LESS valuable to her employer?” Clearly the answer her employer came up with was that she altered her appearance in such a dramatic manner that her value as an employee was so diminished that she became a liability rather than an assett.
The good news is that she can still show her support for her sick uncle. How do you think job hunting will go for her now?
I guess I’m pretty used to seeing people in “altered states” of appearance – blue hair, weird tattoos, and yeah, even bald heads. I don’t know what kind of restaurant this was (I mean, I know it’s a Thai place, but I’ve seen Thai dives and I’ve seen some white-cloth Thai places. Don’t know which end of the spectrum this place was.) I think, if it was one of those fancy-schmancy places, then yeah, the owners have a point. In those places, it’s as much about the ambiance as it is about the food, and the wait staff helps to create that ambiance. She should have at least offered to wear a scarf or something on her head, if that’s the case.
However, if it’s like some of the places I’ve been to in our town? What’s the difference between her shaving her head, and another waitress having 16 earrings in one ear and blue hair? The place is nice, clean, has good food, and a homey atmosphere. The wait staff is efficient and friendly. One of them just happens to have blue hair. I don’t think it would make much difference, in that situation, if someone came in with a shaved head. Especially if it was under these circumstances.
But I do agree with MSSC in one respect… she couldn’t check with her boss first? That’s just common courtesy when you’re making such a drastic change.
How is she any different from a waiter who’s bald?
Or do they not employ bald waiters?
I’m going to play devil’s advocate and assume it’s because typically men are bald “normally” and this woman just shaved her head. It did say if she’d have lost her hair “for a medical reason” she wouldn’t have been fired.
IDK!!
Well, if it were me, I would have at least checked with the boss before I did something like that. Obviously where she lives, people aren’t used to seeing that. I also think she should have offered to accommodate by wearing a wig or scarf during work hours.
I know hair is just a surface thing, but people use it to “make a statement” all the time – and as often as not, the “statement” is more of rebellion than compassion. And that’s not appropriate just everywhere.
We had a discussion here a while ago, I think, about whether we’d shave our head in support someone else. Most of us would not unless we had reason to believe it would really make the cancer patient feel better. So I wonder, did this woman really do this for her dying uncle, or to get attention for herself?
Some years ago, I went to India for a wedding, and I got a “henna tattoo” on my hands and arms. I wasn’t sure about it since it wouldn’t wear off for a while. I was assured it would be gone by the time I got back to work, but it wasn’t – not even close. I was working in a professional environment and people definitely commented, even though as my boss said, it looked more like a “skin disease” than a tattoo at that point. And my boss really liked me. The henna tatoo was overlooked, but there is no way shaving my head would have been ignored. It would have freaked my clients out too much. We did have a computer guy who shaved his head during his young nephew’s chemo; but, (a) he’s a guy and (b) he doesn’t interact with clients.
Yes, it’s true, it’s looked at differently for men. But, men are different from women. Would a waiter in a fancy restaurant keep his job if he showed up in a dress or an obvious women’s hairdo? I’m thinking not.
We did talk about this SKL. It was when my brother in law was going through really horrible chemo last summer and we all thought about it but he told us all NO! He asked his wife why would he want to look at a bald wife and she did it anyway and he cried.
I really do think this is something someone else does to make themselves feel better or draw attention to them self because the person going through it most often asks people please not to.
Aww, I’m sorry for that! I think grief and fear make us do a lot of things that aren’t entirely rational.
I think when you work with costumers you should always lean on the side of caution when it comes to your appearance. I think she should have okay’ed it with her employer first. As much as I respect the thought behind what she did, I do also see her bosses reasoning. Lesson learned all around, I think. The employer needs to have the dress/appearance code for clear, or made sure it is read through.
I do think there is a difference between a bald man and a bald women. I personally couldn’t care less, but there a lot of people who DO care. A lot of people judge simply on appearance. Case in point, my husband just took his lip piercing out. Why? Because he felt he should because he works with young boys 4-5 nights a week, and intends on coaching. He knows what stereo type goes along with that, and he knew enough to take it out. Of course, he is the complete opposite of that stereo type, and doesn’t deserve to be judged for that, but it’s just the way people are.
Did he really?? Oh happy day. Oh gawd I hated that thing.
He did. I didn’t hate it, but I did liked the stud, not the ring. Now that he doesn’t have it, he looks so handsome. (Not that I didn’t think he did before)
He’s also proud of it, taking it out I mean. I think he is more proud of the reason he took it out. He adores those boys, and the feeling is very mutual.
That demonstrates a very high degree of selflessness! What a tremendous example of LEADERSHIP!!!
I got my pom poms out and and am doing the *HAPPY DANCE* around the house. I’ll need my oxygen soon I’m carrying on so!!!
I just emailed him.
🙂
Fired? No I personally think that was a rather drastic reaction! However the young lady in question showed poor thought processes. When you deal with the public, you are expected to maintain a certain level of personal appearance. Therefore, she really needed to discuss her thoughts with the employer before shaving her head. If she shares a very close relationship with her uncle, she should’ve spoken with him and gotten his thoughts on the issue as well. How does she know her uncle won’t be mortified to find out she shaved her head on his behalf? I have known people who took thins same action on behalf of relations or friends, and I admire them for it, but there are situations where a person needs to consult with others, including their employer before taking some actions. I must say that I’ve never seen a dress code that addressed “bald” heads. They generally mention that hairstyles should be neat and clean. You must admit….bald is neat!