“Cheaters don’t define infidelity; their partner’s do.” And, social media has made the slippery slope of ‘cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eaters,’ even more slippery. In this modern day world, how do you define ‘infidelity?’ A torrid love affair? A one night stand? A platonic, but emotional bond with your ‘work spouse?’ Incessant flirting on Facebook?
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Giving another person anything that your spouse has the rights to.
I really do have to agree with you this time mssc. I feel anything you share with your spouse that ties you close together shouldn’t be shared with other people. I’d be just as hurt if our emotional stuff was shared with another person. I don’t for a second think cheating is sex only. A lot of older people don’t even have sex and can only share their emotional stuff. But as some thing end, new things start so yes, it’s not just sex only.
“I really do have to agree with you this time mssc.” Don’t take it so hard Joy. 🙂
Well!! We have had some disagreements.
I knew you would come around to my way of thinkin! 🙂
I also think that emotional cheating is just as bad as physically cheating!
There was a line in the article that said something to the nature of, ‘if you’re doing something that you would stop doing if your spouse was to walk in the room, you’re probably in the wrong.” That’s where I start my definition, generally.
Also, if you’re doing something that you *wouldn’t* do with your spouse… perhaps he/she asks for massages, and you don’t give them, but then turn around and give them to someone else… the massage itself isn’t cheating, but you have to examine why you’ll do it for a casual friend or even a perfect stranger, but not the person you’ve committed your life to.
LOL at the massage part…my hubby will ask me to rub his back and I say no, but I will do it for a stranger. But that’s my job!!! 😉
I was thinking that very thing as I was writing that, too! “but what if she’s a massage therapist?”… so you’re excused!! So are chefs, bakers, florists, etc…
I totally agree with that line although I would include your children. As for internet use I believe it should be the same. If you’re writing something you don’t want your spouse to see, you definitely shouldn’t be writing it. I have heard of “hedges” people put around their marriages that include forwarding any e-mail to or from the opposite sex so their spouse is aware at all times. I’m not sure I’d take it that far, but it is a way to curb misappropriate e-mail behavior.
Agree totally with this: “There was a line in the article that said something to the nature of, ‘if you’re doing something that you would stop doing if your spouse was to walk in the room, you’re probably in the wrong.” That’s where I start my definition, generally.”
Well, I’ve spent little of my life in a “committed relationship,” but I have dated off and on, and there has been some overlap of guy friendships. However, I used to say, I wouldn’t do anything with one guy that I wouldn’t be willing to tell the other guy about. I only wish the guys I dated had the same ethic.
If you ever question yourself, “should I be doing this?” chances are, you shouldn’t be doing that! Also, if you’re doing something that you would stop doing if your spouse was to walk in the room, you’re probably in the wrong. Those are both good qualifiers that you are crossing that line.