How do you feel? What would you prefer?

While Wills and Kate have requested charity donations to celebrate their nuptials, 1 in 3 newlyweds would opt for a cash. How do you feel about asking for money in lieu of gifts? How do you feel about bridal registries? Do you have a gift that you received from your wedding, or perhaps your parents wedding, that you still cherish?

UK couples opt for hard cash over traditional wedding gift.

From Gayle King

This entry was posted in behavior, choices, differences, emotions, opinions, people, things, wedding and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to How do you feel? What would you prefer?

  1. Laura says:

    Well, I did a post on this a while back, but I have sort of a ‘hierarchy’ philosophy on wedding gifts/registries.

    If you’ve never been married before, and you and your intended did not live together before the wedding, a simple registry (basics – towels, bedsheets, pots/pans, dishes) is appropriate. Trust your guests to know what you’ll need for the long run, especially if you’re just starting out.

    If you’ve been living together for the last five years, and now you’re getting married? Don’t expect me to re-furnish the house that you’ve already furnished. I’ll give you a gift that I think personal and appropriate, and you can BET it’s not going to be a gold-plated soup tureen!

    For those who are very wealthy, who have already long-established households, or who are financially secure, I see nothing wrong with requesting charitable donations.

    All the way around, I think a couple asking for cash for themselves is ridiculously tacky – even if they’re requesting for a specific goal, like buying a house, or going on their honeymoon. Those are things they should be paying for.

    Let’s face it, people are *going* to give a wedding gift. It’s appropriate, and I think we’d all feel uncomfortable if we showed up empty-handed. But for the couple who already has everything, why not use this occasion to do a little good in the world?

  2. SKL says:

    I think it’s yucky to have to ask for anything in the first place, but it’s better to get something you really want/need than to get something you’ll never use in a million years. So personally, as a gift-giver, I appreciate knowing what the person wants. That doesn’t mean I feel obligated to buy what’s on the registry. If I don’t get a chance to check it or I don’t find something on there that I feel like buying, I’ll probably go to TJ Maxx and find some pretty crystal vases or something.

    It’s tacky to ask for money, but I don’t think it’s any tackier than asking for expensive stuff. Personally I think I’d rather not get gifts unless I really needed them. But again, if you don’t ask, what’s gonna happen? You’re gonna get a huge ceramic rooster or three. Am I right?

    I never had a wedding, so I really don’t know what I’d do. One more thing I’m glad I don’t have to worry about.

  3. whatsaysyou says:

    Requesting people to donate to charities for a good cause to celebrate their nuptials is a very lovely thing to do rather than ask for wedding gifts. I am sure the late Princess of Hearts would be very proud of her son and his wife.

  4. Nikki says:

    I think what they did was a great thing.

    I don’t really care if a couple asks for money for a down payment for a new home or honeymoon. Not everyone has a lot of money and you’re spending money no matter how you look at it. If it contributes to a new home, I’d be okay with that.

    I am more likely to be practical when actually buying a gift and will opt for something they need versus an expensive crystal vase.

    • SKL says:

      Just to clarify my comment about the vases – I’ve done that when I don’t know what the people need (e.g., work colleague who invited me to her wedding). And believe me, TJ Maxx doesn’t sell “expensive” vases. It’s a good place to find stuff that is nice and tasteful while still quite affordable. I look for small stuff that would look nice in any house and would be used eventually by anyone. Or, if they really hate it, they can re-gift it.

      • Nikki says:

        LOL I just used a vase as an example. I didn’t even realize you said that in your first comment! I like vases, and would love to have more. I like TJMaxx too, I used to work there!

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