Did you ever keep a big secret?

Did you ever have a secret that you kept, that ate away at you? Did you ever tell? Did you feel better? Secrecy vs. Privacy is such a fine line…have you ever had a toxic secret?

This entry was posted in behavior, choices, differences, emotions, feelings, opinions, people, secrets, things and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Did you ever keep a big secret?

  1. SKL says:

    One that nobody else knew? The only thing that comes to mind is the time I stole a wallet for a gift for my mom (I was about 12), and later some stranger stole it out of my mom’s purse (with money, cards, etc. inside). I don’t think I ever admitted my guilt on that.

    For a long time I had a secret when I was a teen. When I was 12, an old guy in the neighborhood fondled me and then gave me hush money. I was too ashamed of taking the money to tell. Finally I told my brother when I was 18, but only about the fondling, not about the money. I told a complete stranger about the money part years later. It took me a long time to realize that I was not guilty in that incident.

    As an adult, I have tried to be honest and straightforward, for the most part. I did stray off the path a couple of brief times, but those were things where confessing would in no way make things better. It was a matter of forgiving myself, vowing to be better, and moving on.

    I should note that my being on the internet right now is a “secret.” I am not supposed to spend any time putzing like this. And although it’s really nobody’s business, some people will make things their business in their opinion, and sometimes it’s easier to just stay below the radar.

  2. kweenmama says:

    For far too long I kept secret how I was being treated in my first marriage. One day I opened up to my sister and that is all it took. My sisters stepped forward and helped me gain the strength to leave and start anew. Best thing I ever did!

  3. Joy says:

    I guess I was about 10 and there were 3 of us who stole a bunch of candy and stuff (little things) from a mom and pop store in Canada one summer when I was staying with my grandparents. We got caught and my grandpa was so disappointed in me and then he took it personally. Like his reputation was tarnished. It was so humiliating. He never sold me out to my parents but my guilt nearly killed me. I think it was a good year before I told my mom. I felt so much better but to this day I feel bad I did that to my grandpa.

    The other “big one” was I got raped one night after a dance, again in Canada and again another summer staying with my grandparents. I was 16. I told my brother a few years later and I never talked about it again for 20 years. I wish I’d have told someone. It really got stuck inside me and it wasn’t a good thing to keep to oneself.

  4. Nikki says:

    Yes, but I’d rather not go into details. Things that happened when I was younger. It came out when I was 16, living with my sisters. I wish it wouldn’t have. I don’t like people knowing certain things…still makes me feel weird.

  5. mssc54 says:

    I secretely dress in womens undergarments on Monday’s, Wednesday,s and Fridays. On the first Saturday of each month I dress in drag and go out for a night on the town. The most difficult thing is covering my mustache. That takes alot of filler and makes me look like I’m puckering for a kiss all the time.

  6. Laura says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever been the Secret-Keeper for any big ones like some of you folks have been. I had a pretty idyllic childhood, and nothing secretive ever happened. I’ve been trusted with “work secrets”, like how much colleagues/coworkers make, or how much is in which accounts and how that money is spent, but I never considered those to be “secrets” in the same vein as those that you all have kept. That was just ‘work stuff’.

    I suppose I have secrets that are kept within my marriage as well, but again, I don’t necessarily consider those “secrets”. But I guess they are. So yeah, I have kept secrets.

  7. avomnia says:

    Show me someone who says they have kept not a single secret and I will present you with a dyed-in-the-wool liar.

    It seems human behavior hews toward erring in our relationships with one another. Mine is no different. I carried it around for about three years, each passing month like an invisible vice squeezing just a little more. I came clean eventually, and while it was undoubtedly liberating it unleashed an effect I didn’t want but certainly deserved. In hindsight I truly wasn’t guilty of anything egregious, I hadn’t committed adultery, slander, or murder. I was guilty of an omission of the heart, perhaps every bit as toxic as anything else.

  8. Phyllis says:

    Yes! That’s all, just yes!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s