These are classified ads, which were actually placed in a U.K. newspaper:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!
FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is… ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything..
Us Girls..Our Views 
LOL those Brits are funny!!!!!!
you know it joy..
These are hilarious! I love British wit, and watch all possible on my PBS station! Anyone ever seen The Vicar of (something), As Time Goes By, Faulty Towers, or Keeping up Appearances, just to name a few? These are hilarious! Even Benny Hill is often amusing. 🙂
It’s the Vicar of Dibley, and I own the series!!! It’s my all-time-favorite show!! (and I swear, my mother-in-law is Hyacinth, from “appearances”)
How bout the father-in-law does he make funny comments and faces like Richard? I had taped the entire Vicar series, but I haven’t run across the tape for a while, though I’m sure it’s round here somewhere What a cast of characters they have! 😀
He just humors her. i’m sure he’s so used to it that he doesn’t see half of what I do. What’s really funny is that they watch “Appearances”, too, and she says that she can’t imagine anyone could be like Hyacinth! Steve and I just chuckle when she says that.
As for Vicar… invest in the DVD set. I think they have a teeny bit more on there than on those they play on TV. I don’t remember. I DO know that there’s a nice “making of” on the last one, it’s mostly about the final episodes, where she gets married, but they also talk about the evolution of the characters, and how each one came to be. it’s really worth it.
I could not stop laughing. I read it at work to my colleague, she thought it was even more funny with my strong accent lol. Thanks for the laugh!