Who does most of your chores?

Why do women still do most chores? This was the Good Question the other night and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

Paul and I used to pretty much divvy up our chores. I also know that we lived in a different time when our boys were young and a lot of women still stayed home with their kids and I do think if someone is at home and the other is out earning a living, shouldn’t the one at home do what needs to be done at that said home?

I know a lot of people who say things like “I took the garbage out last time and this time it’s your turn” and they fight over stuff like this. “I changed the last poopey diaper so this ones yours” while they proceed to hand their child to someone who’s in another room doing something else. I can’t fathom stuff like this. If the garbage is full, why wouldn’t you just take it out? Why would you let it sit there out of principle and spite? I guess maybe I find that just childish but if Paul’s working all day and the garbage is full, I take it out. If one of us is going out, that person will just grab the bag and take it out even if it’s not “our turn.”

Now, some “chores” are mine and some are his. I don’t do anything with the vehicles other than fill with gas and wash. He used to do most of the outside stuff but I’ve grown into doing some of that. I do the laundry, most of the cleaning and the small stuff. I don’t think Paul has ever emptied the dishwasher. If he needs something from it and it’s been run, he’ll just take what he wants out. That bugs me depending on what’s going on but we both have our own stuff and it’s worked out pretty well. I do most of the cooking but Paul is a good cook and will cook if I ask or he feels like something. He’s got some pretty good specialties like chow mein and poached eggs. I like doing the grilling because he tends to daydream and I can’t stand my steak overdone.

So, who does most of your chores? Do you just do what needs to be done or will you make your spouse or roommate do it if it’s “their turn?” How did you divvy up your stuff? Do you both work full time and if not, should the person at home do more?

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13 Responses to Who does most of your chores?

  1. Jenny says:

    I say we share chores. I do most of the house stuff and Jason does more outside stuff. But he does help out when asked to around the house. He has his dirty work clothes that he washes and I wash the rest of the laundry. We both take the garbage out. I mow the front yard with the push mower and Jason does the rest with the riding mower since the backyard is huge and I don’t trust myself driving that mower! We don’t argue over who does what, if someone needs something done we just ask each other.

  2. I think that everyone probably falls into a certain routine with their chores. It makes sense, and often I’ve found that there are chores people hate and others that they don’t mind, so you each choose the ones that are easier for you to do.

  3. Laura says:

    At the moment, I do almost all of them, but it used to be that I handled the ‘inside’ and he handled the ‘outside’. Working on organizing a chore/allowance system for Josh, but haven’t gotten there yet. Meanwhile, he’s in the spot where he doesn’t really do much as “his job”, but he’s happy to do most chores and jobs that I ask him to do.

    • mssc54 says:

      1. Keep your room clean you get breakfast the next day.
      2. Take the trash out you get lunch.
      3. Clean your bathroom you get dinner.
      4. Help clean the house, you get to use the electricity
      5. Help with yard work, you get to sleep indoors.


  4. Ellen says:

    I do most of the household stuff, because I am “trained” in doing it (just previous household’s lol) And he had a cleaning lady. I most time do the yards too. But when I ask Dan to do things, there is no question he will do it.

  5. SKL says:

    I do! I am the only person in this house who ever “feels like” cleaning. A long time ago, I used to do almost everything and then resent it. I liked to have a clean house, and that was the only way to get there. Eventually I learned to not notice other people’s mess most of the time. It just takes too long to keep up with people who are, frankly, slobs, when I work long hours and try to have a personal life. After I stopped picking up after everyone, they slowly started doing some of it – but we pretty much always have piles of stuff in “their areas” of the house.

    So now, I still do most of the housework that actually gets done. I always clean after myself and my kids, and I will straighten up the kitchen and some other areas, just to maintain my sanity. I am the only person who takes out the garbage. I don’t mind this – actually, I like cleaning, most of the time. I would rather keep up with it on my own than wait around for other people to do it. Though, I usually don’t wash other people’s dishes if I can avoid it. Thing is, I get grief if I spend time on domestic stuff because the boss-partner thinks my time would be better spent “working.” So why would I go out of my way to get picked on? Sometimes I do it anyway because I just want a clean kitchen for a change.

    We also have maids who come once a month, and we pay guys to come and do the yard work and occasional “big chores.”

    Groceries are split between me and one housemate. I go to the organic store, she goes to the regular store. I used to do it all, but when my kids came along, it just took too long to make so many stops. Most “common” bill paying is done by the other housemate, because she uses part of the house for a business expense.

    Child care is obviously all on me, since I’m the only parent. I am rarely overwhelmed by my parenting duties. I can’t imagine adults fighting over who’s going to change a diaper. When I was a kid, the older siblings cared for the younger – and they younger ones were in cloth diapers – we used to argue. Mostly about people leaving dirty diapers in the toilet instead of cleaning them out. We only had one toilet, so if you had to go to the bathroom and there was a diaper in there, you had no choice but to clean it out. I never pulled that stunt, but I had it pulled on me plenty. But even as kids, we wouldn’t let a baby sit in a poopy diaper just because it was someone else’s turn to change them. Really, it’s not THAT big of a deal.

  6. mssc54 says:

    I must admit that my Mrs. does more than I do on the inside. However, now that school has begun (she is a mathematics educator) that will change. She leaves the house about 6;15 a.m.. On Monday’s, Wednesdays and Thursdays she is also the Nigh School Principal so she won’t get home until 8:30ish p.m.. On Tuesdays and Fridays she will get home around 4:30ish. But she is also in charge of setting up the gate money, scheduleing people to work the gates at their ball games (all of them) so on football nights whe won’t get home until 10:00 p.m. or later.

    So I take care of all the kids’s and house stuff now. I’m not as good at some of it as she is but I make a good effort at it. HOMEWORK is my LEAST FAVORITE THING!!

    • Joy says:

      I know for a fact that you do SO MUCH with the kids. It’s funny you brought up homework. Paul did most of that. “Back then,” he had more patience with the boys. I had NO CLUE how to do math though and Paul is a wizard.

  7. Nikki says:

    I do most of the house cleaning. Jason doens’t do too much around, but he gets up at 5am and works his tail off. In my opinion he should come home to a clean house, clean laundry and a hot meal. I guess we’re old fashion that way. I work from home, so I’m here. If I worked outside the home, then I can see each doing chores. I’d still do more though, it’s just what I do-I clean, and enjoy it. I like opening all the windows, turning up the tunes and cleaning. Now that Bailey is plenty old enough, he does his share. he folds all the towels, and his clothes. Cleans his room, sets and cleans off the dinner table, takes out the garbage, feeds/water the animals, and cleans up the yard when need be. It works for us!

    When Bailey was a baby, I got up in the middle of the night and changed most diapers. I also didn’t have to get up and go to work the next morning. But Jason was always good about letting me sleep in on the weekends. But I still did the midnight feedings-I enjoyed them. I miss them 😦

    We never played the “it’s your turn” game. Whoever did it, just did it! It never seemed like a job or inconvenience to me. I waited my whole life to be a mom. Looking back now, I’d give anything to go back to one of those midnight feedings. Yeah, I’m emotional right now-he’s going into middle school! 😦

    • Nikki says:

      Haha…my whole life?! I was only 19. I meant I always knew I wanted to be a mommy, so when I did become one I always loved doing all the stuff that came along with it.

  8. Phyllis says:

    I’ve always done most of the inside and outside stuff around here cause it’s my place. I don’t cut grass due to allergys, but other than that it was me.

    Now that the gd and family are living with me I’ve set up some rules. If you use the dishes during the day, do them. I take care of breakfast dishes immediately, and any around before I leave for work but any they generate after that are theirs to do. . My gd usually cooks dinner (she doesn’t mind cooking and I despise it), and I’ll mostly do dinner dishes because I’d rather do them than look at them.

    Garbage is for one of the guys to take out. I don’t care which one, just get it out! What I don’t understand is that the gd’s husband will often take issue when she asks him to do something. I just don’t get it. Why waste the effort of arguing about something and causing hard feelings? On the flip side, he does anything I ask of him, and they both make sure the living room is picked up and straightened when I’m due home from work because I HATE coming home to a messy place and no one likes to deal with the ticked off g-ma, although I don’t yell, I do discuss issues calmly. (often after giving myself a time-out LOL!)

    My opinion has always been: if you see something that needs to be done, just pitch in and do it. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not so much.

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